Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

I have a friend who only drinks alcohol about once a month. She’s fine when drinking beer and sometimes can handle the hard stuff, but if she drinks too much hard liquor, she experiences blackouts. She’s only been drinking alcohol for about four years and during this time she’s had about five blackouts. What often happens during these blackouts is she ends up having sex with someone other than her committed partner and uses the blackout as an excuse for “cheating”. Personally, this sickens me and makes me think that she just might be making up the whole “blackout” thing, but she swears that she isn’t.

She’s one of my best friends and I’d really like to help her out. I would not label her as an alcoholic since she doesn’t drink very often, but when she does, it’s to excess. First, I need to answer that question… Is she an alcoholic? Then, I can figure out my next step… Encourage her to see a doctor? Encourage her to stop drinking altogether? This might be a problem, however, since she insists that she does not have a problem with alcohol.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Loading...

Hey Jennie. Your friend could really be telling the truth. I have experienced blackouts a few times myself after drinking liquor. It is really scary becuase I caouldn't remember many hours of my night after a certain point! I did things that I would NEVER do if I was sober, and no matter how hard I tried to remember, I couldn't recall anything! My friends didn't believe me at first, but when they saw how much it upset me, they realized I wasn't lying.
Reply

Loading...

The blackouts your friend is expirencing are not a lie. I cannot drink becasue the same happens to me and i have done things i would of never done if i were not blackedout
Reply

Loading...

Dear Jennie,
Please do not be too hard on your friend! I was just like her in my early twenties, now at 29 I have drinking under control. The blackouts don't necessarily mean that she is an alcoholic, but probably she is binge drinking. I did things and said things to people I loved that were terrible, and I have no idea where they came from nor do I remember anything from those experiences. The sex issue is a big one, it ended up happening to me a lot. I felt like I was raped, because I honestly did not remember any of it, but according to sources, I was walking and talking like normal, not seeming "that drunk" so I can't really blame the men. I had to really change my life to get out of the pattern, I stopped hanging out with the same people because my body could not handle the lifestyle. I now plan out how many drinks I can have before I go out and drink more slowly. I can't drink liquor. My real problems stemmed from insecurity and depression, I would drink so much socially because I thought it made me more fun and drinking to escape depression is common, though it just leads to more depression. Maybe you can talk to your friend in a very accepting way about trying to manage this problem, let her know you are not judging her about the sexual issues, she is probably embarrassed. I always tried to act like I didn't care but I was so sick inside. I am still ashamed of the things I did back then and I can't believe that I made it through without getting a disease or pregnant but it really damaged my self esteem even more. I take antidepressants now, maybe your friend needs counseling and could talk to a doctor about her reaction to alcohol, I think that some people just physically can't handle it well. Anyway, I just hope I can help someone else with my experiences. I hope that even if she is not ready to get "professional help" then you can help her as a friend, she needs it! I wish I had a friend like you back then.
Reply

Loading...

alcohol blackouts and the behavior during a blackout are two separate things. You are still conscious and fully aware of your actions but are not able to store them in long term memory. alcohol just reduces your inhibitions it does not "change" your personality. You just follow instinct and natural impulses. If you have good instincts and are truly a good person then you should be fine if not........You should stop drinking.

You are just as legally and morally responsible during a drunken blackout as sober since you are still fully aware of what you are doing.
Reply

Loading...

Jennie.. the blackouts that you are talking about are not true blackouts....they are block outs. When alcoholics blackout they truly do not remember anything that hppened. They rely on people to tell them what they did. My first husband was the worst of alcholics and the night he went to jail he swore he did nothing. We enven had pictures of what he did. To this day...20years later he still remembers nothing. The doctor told him that he had blakcouts from alcohol he drank everyday....so you see Jennie blackouts do not occur just because someone drank too much one night..thats just being overly intoxicated. Blackouts occur after drinking for a while........
Reply

Loading...

I started drinking about 8 years ago as a social drinker who occasionally had too much. I progressively drank more frequently and when I drank I would binge to extremes. About 3-4 years ago I started blacking out often I did things I would never do sober and would not believe my friends when told some of things. It got to the point where my friends would not even bother trying to tell me what I had done the night before. . I often drank alone because I knew I would blackout and do awful things. I put my fiancé through hell; getting sick, flying into rages, infidelity, etc. About 9 months ago after the second time in three weeks my fiancé had to pick me up from jail I decided I needed to stop drinking. I didn’t think I had a problem and for the most part stopped drinking altogether. I had not had a blackout or gotten drunk since September. I had only had a handful of drinks over a 9 month period of time during social occasions. My fiancé and I were starting to repair all the damage I had done while drinking. Everything was going great. Last week I was out of town on business for two weeks. The second to the last day I was out of town I decided to have a drink. I had not eaten in a day or so, it was 105 degrees and I hadn’t really drank in quite some time. I blacked out almost immediately and did awful, shameful thing that night. I called my fiancé during the blackout and told her exactly what I was doing with other women. The next morning I woke up in my hotel room and remembered none of it. I called my fiancé to tell her I had made a mistake and got drunk. She proceeded to tell me the terrible things I had done the night before. I could remember none of them or even calling her the night before. I thought I had alcohol beat. One terrible night blacking out has ruined my relationship. Alcoholism is hard on the alcoholic but even harder on the ones who love them. The alcoholic does not even remember the worst times, but their loved ones do.
Reply

Loading...

Dear Jennie,

I black out nearly every time I drink, so I am very familiar with the experience. I am in college and drink often. Every weekend and sometimes 1-2 times during the week. What usually happens is I start drinking and when I start drinking the need to drink more takes control. It's as if I'm drinking and all of a sudden something blurs and I am blacked out. My friends have to recap and tell me what I did ,and sometimes I sit there with my mouth gaping open with disbelief. I do have some fragmentery memories, but that is very minimal. I have kissed boys and not even remember it the next morning. I do and say things that I hope ,for my sake, would never ordinarily do. I read a previous post that said you can recall for 2-3 minutes at first and are aware of everything. It made me feel very bad because I really hope I would never do that if I were sober. If your friend blacksout, I think you should get her help. It's a very scary thing, and I wish it didn't happen to me. Some people are just predisposed to experiencing blackouts and should not drink alcohol. I can honestly say that I have had alcohol and not been aware so she could be telling the truth, but it still isn't really an excuse and she should not drink.
Reply

Loading...

I AM A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC AND HAVE HAD MANY BLACKOUTS. bUT THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE HERE SAYING THEY BLACKOUT BUT ARE NOT ALOCHOLICS IT MAY BE IF YOU ARE O ANY MEDICATIONS OR NOT ESPECIALLY ANTIDEPRESSANTS THEY WILL CAUSE DOUBLE THE EFEECT OF ALCOHOL AND I HAVE HAD GREATER EXPERIENCES WITH BLACKOUTS WHEN I WAS ON THEM
Reply

Loading...

That's not necessarily true. Alcohol and blackouts have been used to obtain acquittal for a variety of cases in the past. As far as moral accountability goes, that's relatively defined. Some cultures view alcohol related incidents with less weight than others do. Even still, morality isn't limited to what your culture defines it as, it can be defined by a community, a small peer group, or even just one egocentric hedonist bastard.

So, yeah, other than that one ignorant post and the last one with all caps, good replies. I'm really glad to see productive input here rather than just "your friend is an alcoholic and needs help." It almost restores my faith in humanity a little bit.

I hope your friend can get herself under control. I certainly can't. The more I drink the more I want to drink. I can go either 0 or 60000 mph.
Reply

Loading...

Blackouts are horrible. I have decided to stop drinking. I have gone through alot of emotional probems and instead of dealing with it, I began supressing it by drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. I would wake up the next day and was unable to recal hours of the previous night. Only until recently I stopped, because I went out with my friends one night, and they did not know how I got home. I was unalbe to recall either. I think the fear that I may have had random sex scared me. So after this incident I have decided to stop drinking all together. I have heard the things that I do and say, which I would never do sober. I have decided that I need to have more respect and love for myself. I need to start dealing with my emotional issues rather than supressing them. If you think that your friend is having blackouts, be honest with them and tell them how you feel. I think if my friends had told me earlier to stop, I would have.
Reply

Loading...

Hi
I am 32 yr old, startde drinking 5yrs back, thanks for all the info, will take care, but as of now i drink 3-5 pegs of Brandy every day and enjoying it, i go to the diffrent world once i am on it and i know my limits, good luck pals :-)
Reply

Loading...

I'v had two blackouts both when I was very young & new to drinking. The first one was on my secound drinking experiment. I had two screwdrivers the secound one knocked me into a world of two brief memories during that night in witch I was told I said all sorts of things (that didn't happen to me or never even took place), & I fell out of the bed a couple of times so I was told, as well as throwing-up while being flung over a friends shoulder (one of the brief memories). The other was of looking out the car I was in for a spit secound on the way home. Still I just can recall getting out of the nightclub, & feeling the cold air just before the other two memories occured. Waiking-up the next morning w/ my jewlery & cloths from the night before still on made me wonder what in the world is going on here. It's a question that sill bothers me to this day. Trying to get back that lost time & memories. The secound time was worse I'm greatful for all that I can't remember. This was all around 20 yrs. ago for me. I never became a big drinker I'm always in good company when I do decide to drink which is a couple or few times a year at best. I know my limit & never hope to exspirience a blackout again. Be careful out there people. Drinking can be hazerdous to your health, mind, & soul. Take Good Care All.
Reply

Loading...

I've had many blackouts while drinking and they are happening to me more often. I smash up the house, verbally abuse my parents and have the police called to me and I don't remember it until it is said to me and then I nearly die of shame and drink more to cover it up. It's a cycle that I wouldn't wish anyone to fall into.
Reply

Loading...

Hello. A few days ago my girlfriend sent me an email out of the blue to tell me that she had done something terrible i.e. slept with someone else. She said that she is not good enough for me and it is better that we end the relationship and that I am free. We have been apart for a few months. However I just could not believe it as this was not like her at all.

It felt like she didn't want to talk to me at all (fromt he email). But I called her as I could not believe it... at leasty wanted some clarification on why this had happened. She was so upset, and she said that she didn't remember doing it, but that she went to a club with her colleagues after work and drank alot. She said that she remembered a guy coming up to her, and then her saying that she had a boyfriend... she woke up the next day in his bed and asked him what happened and he said that they had had sex, although she remembers nothing. She said she was devastated... She asked her friends who said she looked normal as she left with him...

So My question is what to believe? She works in Thailand where I think that there is alot of use of date rape drugs... or could it be an alcohol blackout? I know it sounds like a lame excuse, but i know she loves me so much, and even though we have only been together for less than a year its not in her nature. God knows, maybe I am just decieving myself and looking for excuses but I would not have found out anyway, had she not have told me, and she seems to accept that i might want to break up with her.

Can she take a test to find out if there is some sort of drug still in her body such as rohypnoll? Bear in mind that this happened about 3 or 4 days ago.
Also, if it is an alcohol blackout or whatever, can she be held accountable for her actions. Was she aware of what she was doing?e.g. thinking "I am now going to have sex with a stranger even though I have a boyfriend who will devastated'? Is it possible to do something without being aware of what you are doing? e.g. people sleepwalk and pee in a cupboard wthout realising it..... is the same possible from drinking or being drugged, or is this just a lie?

thank you....
Reply

Loading...