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I am currently in a relationship that has lasted almost 4 years. We live together and have had our share of problems. I feel guilty all the time because I am bipolar and sometimes can't keep up with my responsibilities. We made an arrangement that I would continue college and not work. We have financial trouble but we are getting by. I am suppose to study for school, clean the house, cook, take care of the dogs, and do laundry. Not all of these tasks get handled depending on my "illness". I have gone through situation before and I left the relationship.

Now my boyfriend and I are engaged and will be getting married in August. We have been arguing constantly and he repeated criticizes me for I do and don't do. Nothing I do seems good enough. I get so upset sometimes that I have slapped him or cried and distanced myself for days. I try to talk about the problems but he ignores me or downplays the issues.

As for sex, I do not enjoy it. In the 3 1/2 years we've been together I have had 3 orgasms. I will do things to make him orgasm sooner so that it'll be over faster. I am sometimes in the mood but since I know that it is going to be a disappointment, I talk tell him anything and then masturbate.

This seems to be a trend with me and I am wondering if I should give up on the relationship and move on. I know it'll be hard but so will staying in the relationship. Any opinions?


I'm so sorry to hear that. I can somehow relate to you because I am in a bad relationship myself where the sex is horrible too. What you said here totally struck a chord with me:

"I am sometimes in the mood but since I know that it is going to be a disappointment"...

I think I'm starting to be afraid of sex since i know it won't be good with my boyfriend. I seem to have shut it off my mind, and telling myself not to long for it because he cannot satisfy me and i'll be pissed, which will then lead into another argument and make things worse for us.

Why do i still stay in such a relationship? I think we both know the answer - we need to walk away from our men but we still lack the courage. Due to the memories and love shared coupled with the fear of being alone, we harbour hope in our present relationships - we tell ourselves things might get better in future, so we keep holding on. But will things really get better or are we just wasting our time and youth?