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I've been with my boyfriend for eight months now, and we had been friends for about a year beforehand.. And recently he'd seemed to be distancing himself from me.However, he also has severe depression and bipolar disorder, so today I wanted to get to the bottom of things. Although I am used to him needing space, something felt weird about it.I asked him what was going on and why he had been avoiding me. I asked if he still liked me and he said. "I don't have feelings for anything." Which is a common response when he's feeling badly.However we started talking more, and I decided that I needed to quit being afraid and just talk to him about a couple of very small issues we'd been having. He responded by saying that we never talked about things he liked to talk about and that I was "pretending" to be interested in him.I was very offended and explained to him that sometimes he made me insecure because he is quite sarcastic, and sometimes offended me, but I had a hard time being mad at him.He responded by saying "Why don't you go find someone else thing, since everything I do is obviously wrong."We talked for several more hours and we talked about our issues with one another. I explained that our two main issues were my mild insecurity and his desire to talk about other things. I told him that these were not big issues and we could fix them if we worked together and talked more.His response? "Sorry, let's not."I just don't understand, just a two weeks ago he told me I was the only person he cared about more than anything and he owed so much to me.I really love him quite a lot. Plus, this is the first time he has ever treated me in such a way. He's been on medication for both insomnia and depression and was doing well for quite some time.It probably sounds silly, but I have a feeling a lot of this has to do with jealousy. Recently, I changed my routine a little bit, and he's been a little jealous of super small things that used to not bother him, such as me having a movie night with friends.I don't know what to do atm.I hadn't talked to him for a week, until I found out that a mutual had spoken to him, telling him he needed to apologize. He then responded saying it was my choice for us to stop speaking and that he was "respecting" me, by giving me space. I mulled it over for a few days, and then decided to send a text to apologize for jumping the gun, and I said that neither of us handled this as maturely as we should have.His response was just "Alright." No apology, and no further conversation. I just am having a really hard time dealing with this, I don't know what to say to him, and how to even act anymore. I've been trying to act like everything is fine, but in reality it isn't and it feels like my whole heart is breaking over and over every day. I need help.

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Dear ivyfallsover,

Hon', if you are going to be in a relationship with someone who has a condition...any condition whether it's physical or mental, you owe it to your relationship to learn all you can about the condition. What he is experiencing is what "We Bipolar People" call a low or as Doctor's say a depressive state. You may have seen him on the other side which is called a High. Doctors call it manic or mania. He was as happy as he could be, had lot's of energy, talked a lot, stayed up all hours of the night...etc. Here are 2 websites that I found for you one is for information about Biploar the other is a support group for those who care for someone with bipolar. The best course of action for him now is for him or a family member to call his Psychologist or Psychiatrist first thing tomorrow morning. Think of it this way Psychiatrist is his "Meds Management Dr" and Psychologist is his "Talk Dr." We did that with our kids early on. My son has Autism, my Stepson has Cystic Fibrosis and ADHD plus his Mom passed away when he was only 7 years old. I myself have Bipolar and ADD, So as you can see, I speak from experience...not from someone just telling you what they think the answer is. Fell free to contact me if you want to chat and or more information about Bipolar. 

snoopyfan6200

 

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/37010.php

http://www.caregiver.com/channels/bipolar/articles/caring_bipolar_disorder.htm

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Thanks very much for the information. I'll definitely read up on this.  I have done a lot of research on bipolar disorder myself. Both my mother and my ex have the condition. However, what frightens me is not knowing if it was just the depression talking, or if he actually did mean what he said. When I had tried to discuss things with him, he said that he had been feeling just fine. I guess it just surprised me, because normally he is never this extreme, and I feel as if I'm in shock. Again, thanks for the information. Can I expect him to come back to me? Or for us to be able to talk more rationally again? We're both fairly young. 

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Once he is stable on his meds who knows. I do know this...whatever you do make sure he doesn't get a Dr. that stops him on any medication (s) cold turkey. Trust me on that...I had an id**t Dr who did that to me stopped 3 meds at one time and he even KEPT my meds. I thought they were going in a locked drawer and we were going to discuss it in a week...keep in mind he's only known me 10 minutes and doesn't have any medical history on me...but he says I'm taking you off of Adderall. I have been on this med STABLE for 8-10 years. When I came there, I even had 2 more scripts for the next two months for refills. Ohh he is so gonna regret what he did. I am reporting him, and let the cards fall where they may. He said he "discarded them because legally he can't hold them." Well then why did you take them in the first place? Anyway, if you need anything else contact me ok?
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