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My boyfriend of a year just broke up with me and it floored me! I feel devastated, lonely, abandoned... Not that this is the first time he has broken up with me because he has many times, maybe once a month, but he would always stay! He had rented a room back in July during an episode but never stayed. He even said that it was so stupid on his part to do this! This time he told me that he never wanted to see me again! Don't call or text him ever! WOW!! He told me to just let it go! So cold!!

Early on in our relationship I started figuring out that he had some form of bi polar disorder. I read a lot about rapid cycling bi polar but that didn't quite fit him. Then I read about cyclothymia! Bingo! That was it! I started researching it and low and behold that hit the nail on the head! I had never heard of it and now I feel I could write a  book on it! He is text book cyclothymia except for drugs and alcohol use. He doesn!'t do that. Everything else he does do! Mood swings, paranoia, racing thoughts, hypo mania, depression and this can sometimes happen all in one day! 

In the beginning of our relationship he told me that he suffers from depression and he has angry outbursts sometimes. He told me that when he was young that his sister would ask why he was angry for and he would tell her that he wasn't angry but he really was and he didn't know why, After I told him this he really started considering what I had told him! Breakthrough..right? Wrong! He did seek counseling for a while and the counselor would tell him things that he wanted him to do, including breaking up with me! The counselor told him finally that he couldn't help him any more since he would not do what he asked him to and he was wasting his time. He had also told my ex that I was wrong and that he did not have cyclothymia! He counseled bi poplars before and he was  not like them that. What  my boyfriend had was a lack of character! I was upset because one thing the counselor did not do was talk to me! I can see things that  he couldn't ! Why would he not ask to talk to me. Another brick wall! That is when everything started going down hill fast! I knew that the cyclothymia was what caused him to have a lack of character! I thought that counselors went to school for this stuff!!

Like I said in the beginning, he stormed out on me and haven't really heard from since. From all I have read, it is only a matter of time before he comes back. I am trying to prepare myself because I do think he will. I just wonder how long it will be before he does. I am so hurt but one thing I know is that with the way I feel about him now I will take him back! Why?  Love? I mean I do love him. Lonely... but I have a lot of other guys who ask me out! I just haven't wanted them like I do him! What is wrong with me? I am giving myself a couple of days to grieve but I can't stay in this. I am going to go out tonight and try to eat. I get hungry but when I try to eat I get nauseated! I need to focus and I need to prepare for the day he comes back! I also have my own business to run! I keep finding my mind going to memories that he probably does't even remember!

All of you who have been through this and worse , please offer me some feedback and encouragement! I could use all the help I can get!!

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Cheynne I'm a wise Older women, Middle-aged  You sounded like me and I'm going to share w/ you something I wish someone would have done for me back in the day.  Never let someone you care for, no matter how much you think he cares for you back, if he is sick as you know he is it's best for you to dump him.  What happens if you continue this back and forth behavior is that you will become too emotionally caught up in his disability to the point you are not able to function in life effectively too.  It is in a women's nature to feel that they should stick around and act as caretakers oftentimes to our detriment.  Get a pet if theirs that need for love in the meantime,  Or seek someone who is more stable. You will only start creating your own "psychological/mental" illness if you continue.  Yes,you can gently but firmly let him go  but remember 2 sick people are better than one. Xperienced One

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Xperienced One - i loved ur answer - can i b ur friend ?

 

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I too am a wiser older woman and agree with Xperienced One that you should forget him before it destroys you too. I spent 23 miserable years with a man who had depression. Everything he did was blamed on his depression. I thought I was being faithful and supportive but I was just being a mug. The thing that worries me the most about you post is you say the counselor told him what to do and gave his own diagnosis. Counselors don't do that. They ask questions designed to allow the depressed person work out issues for themselves. My ex told me after one session that his therapist had agreed with him that I had caused all his problems. I ended up in therapy myself and when I mentioned this his therapy was stopped because he obviously was not using the opportunity properly. It's 4 months since your post so I hope things have improved. If not please remember that it is no life looking after a depressed person who has no intention of helping themselves. You will likley split up one day regardless so get out before you waste any of your life.

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hi,ive been myself in a relation with a women who has cyclothymia,it was same that about each month she dump me again and again sometimes for stupid reasons...what i can tell you is run , run away the far as you can because it will break you at some point that you'll finish like me going to seek help at the psy...i don't mean that i don't love this girl i love her more than i ever loved in my life...i have 2 kids from an earlier weeding and they are living with me...each time that we broke up they suffer too...and they dont deserve this...to be clear ... I finished yealling at her all the pain she leaves each time and at this moment i realized that something went wrong with me too now...all those words she usses to tell me where harsh very very harsh like i destroyed her life that i'm not the one for her etc:...i think you know them to. On our last break up nearby two month ago i decided not to come back even if i still love her...for my own mental health... I don't know if there are some people who lived a complete life with someone who has cyclothymia but i all i can say is that those people are very couragious.
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You clearly know nothing on mental health... we are not leppers with Cyclothymia
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I just broke up with a boyfriend who has cyclothymia after one year. I agree with everything the above said. We didn't know he had it for the whole year - he had good reasons - missing home, not feeling like he had enough friends here, feeling inspired and then not, etc. It all made sense. But when he cycled through a few times I knew there was something wrong. everything he said to me in his hypomanic state (dreams of our future), he would soon default on in his depressive state. He would spend countless hours working on his many projects. I thought this was creative inspiration at its best - and it was - he was beautiful, his mind was gorgeous. But then it went from that to hating all his projects and giving them all up. Everything he said was a contradiction. I would try to make sense of it and put it all on myself - thinking that if I just gave him some space or just would put less pressure - then maybe he would come to some great conclusions. He didn't - it only got worse and I only felt more crazy. I spent so long living in his melodrama - and I lost myself in it. We mutually broke up - he is an incredibly self aware person - but knows he is not well enough to be with me and knows I deserve better. I know everyone has some sort of illness or addiction so I'm not saying you could ever get around that - but I know for me personally, I wouldn't be able to do it. It would destroy me. I hope you have found peace with yourself and you aren't blaming yourself for any of his actions. It's hard enough to deal with your own insecurities in relationships than it is to live in a warped version of reality. Send him love, hope he gets well, and most of all put yourself first.
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my name is dawn and I think my boyfriend also suffers from cyclothymia..its hard but I think I am going to try and guide him to some help but end the relationship... its too emotional... took heavy....sadddd!... bcuz I really do love him....
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I am astonished at the talk about people with mental disorders so negatively! I myself have suffered with cyclothymia for years. It's very difficult to deal with but not all of us are so horrible. If you know they have this disorder then decide immediately whether or not you want to be a part of that. Also, don't go around diagnosing your significant others with psychological disorders based on some internet article or WebMD. If they are suffering emotionally suggest to them to seek help. If they don't and you can't deal, leave. Just remember, it's not their fault. Don't go blaming them and to the original poster, I'm sorry but saying he'll come running back is horrible. Leave him alone and if he comes back make it clear to him that you can't continue this. Your relationship together sounds very volatile and bad for both of you.
Please don't make us out to be bad people. I ruined my life in 1 year when the disorder began to rear its ugly head. My mom stood by me the entire time. I started to get better and then I met my boyfriend. 1 year later we were fighting so bad that I hit him. I was so shocked I immediately broke down. The next day I called and got help. Not all of us can do that so quickly but if you have someone like this in your life encourage them without making them feel like they are crazy. I've been taking medication for the last three years and my boyfriend and I are really happy, I will be graduating with my bachelor's degree in December and I have the best dog, a car, and a house. We can get better. We do need susuprt, but if you can't handle it or its too damaging to you then get out of their life asap. You will both be better off.
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Thank you! I agree, what the he'll are people going on about above. I am newly diagnosed with cyclothymia and I've always struggled in staying in relationships but I'm working on that. My problem is I start feeling closed in and that letting my guard down will only bring me further sadness and that is something I never want to add to a very emotional illness to begin with. I start my counselling in a week so I'm hoping it helps with seeing things differently. All anyone ever wants is to be loved and actually it is still possible with this illness. Good for you finding your happy ending x
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what medication are you taking!? It is imperative, I NEED to know, my girlfriend suffers from this same disorder, and because I love her unconditionally i refuse to leave her! we are in a rough stage right now, but we are slowly working through it all.

if we can somehow find her a decedent medicine that doesn't rewrite her personality, and destroy her mentally we can shave off YEARS of agonizing doctor's visits of jumping from medicine to medicine.

PLEASE tell me what you know !!
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Hello i know this post is old but what was the outcome ? Did he ever come back? I’m asking because I’m gojng through it with my husband. I wonder if he will ever come back it’s been 4 days.
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