It is important to try objects that you can keep a firm hold of, Sometimes the butt can act as a vacuum and take in whatever is being used. Start small and short. Then work you way up. You must never experience sever pain. It will always feel uncomfortable, but that is what you are looking for. Now relax and move what ever dildo you have in a circular motion. It "trains" your as****e.
I took almost 15 years to reach máximum size. Enemas are always good to use before masturbation. And as they say lots of lubricant, inside you butt and around. Become exaggerated with the lube.
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After enough stretching very little lube is needed. I've been stretching all my life and the bigger the better.
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