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%-) I recently had anal sex the first time after many years. Now the outside of my rectum is swollen like a marble. Is this normal? What should I do


That happens. It should go away in a few days but if it doesn't go to the doctor

Warm water: Sitz baths involve sitting in a warm pan of water to soak the painful anal area.
Analgesic agents: Various creams and ointments can temporarily numb the anal area to provide relief. Do not use these for more than a few days in a row, however. Your health care provider can tell you exactly how long it is safe to continue using these treatments.
Stool softeners: Taking over-the-counter medications to help keep your stool soft until the hemorrhoid or fissure heals. This can help avoid re-injuring and further irritating the anus while having a bowel movement.
High-fiber diets: A high-fiber diet will keep your stools soft and easy to pass

Talk with your partner about the need for the inserter to go very slowly and gently, and the absolute requirement that your word is law: if you say stop, s/he stops.
Use lots of water- or silicone-based lube.
If fingers are going to be inserted in your anus, fingernails need to be well trimmed, smooth, and clean.
Some people like to start with a clipped nail finger in the anus, moved very slowly inside. When there's pain, stop and wait a moment and breathe. This will allow the internal anal sphincter to relax. Once the discomfort stops, continue. If a finger is comfortable, you can proceed with other sex toys or a penis.
If you use a dildo, make sure it's soft and flexible, not stiff. This will help protect you against colonic perforation.
If you're still having pain with anal penetration, you may want to see your health care provider about using rectal dilators. These are a set of instruments that get progressively larger. You begin by inserting the smallest-diameter dilator in your anus. When this is completely comfortable, you can move on to the next size, and on through the largest size. Your provider can also help you plan a safe and reasonable schedule of progressing through the different sizes.
Consider receiving anal sex face down; this can decrease anal pressure.
Be sure to understand and follow safer sex guidelines to avoid getting or giving infections, including HIV. For example, condoms need to be used for sexual activities where body fluids may be involved (including anal sex).