I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 and a half years. We have lived together for the past 2 years. We have always been very close and rarely fight. Starting about 3 weeks ago, he just started being weird. He slept in the spare bedroom one night and just didn't want to spend time with me. I knew something was wrong. He told me he didn't know what was the matter, that he just got depressed, and couldn't explain why. I asked if I could help, and he seemed to get defensive about it. He let me know he just needed some time. This went on for a few days, when I approached him again asking if there was anything that I could do. He still said no and was still sleeping in the spare bedroom. He stopped eating much, he didn't drink coffee or beer, both of which he loves. He also wouldn't play his guitar, very weird. He would still kiss me and tell me he loved me, but it seemed very forced. One night, he just didn't come home. I had checked his computer, looking for any clues and I saw he had been researching suicide. I called him and called him, worried sick. He didn't answer me.
The next morning, he finally replied to me, telling me he felt bad that he was making me so miserable and that it wasn't fair for me to be sad too. So he decided to stay with a friend of his for a while. I told him I understood and that I would give him his space for a few days. A few days later, I tried to call him and he didnt answer me. I texted him and asked if we were broken up and his response was "I dont know, I just can't be at the house anymore. I don't feel the same way about us. Things needed to change and they have." So I made him come and talk to me in person. He was very defensive, would not even look at me. Completely emotionless. I sat there bawling and he didn't change his facial expression at all. I asked him why he wanted this and he told me because things weren't the same between us and that we didn't even sleep in the same room anymore. All of this only started the week beforehand. Everything between us was perfectly fine before that. It's just like something switched in his head and he wasn't my boyfriend that I've known and loved for so long. We also have 2 cats and a dog together which are our "children" He told me that they were pretty much my pets anyway. He would never deny our animals. One of my cats walks around crying constantly and tries to bolt out the door anytime it gets opened. The house just doesn't feel the same without him. I had texted him and asked him if he needed me to pack anything up for him and when I didn't get an answer, I packed up most of his things into a few boxes and put them in the spare bedroom. The next morning he told me he just needed his checkbook. He came over the next day looking for his checkbook in the boxes. I told him it was all of his stuff and he should take it. He seemed to get slightly upset at this point, and wouldn't look at me. I asked him if he wanted to talk at all and he got very defensive and rude. He left in a hissy fit, and I texted him telling him I thought I was entitled to know what was going on. He told me not to be concerned with him anymore. That he was fine, taking care of himself and keeping busy. I told him I would give him his space and his time and was always there for him if he needed me. I havent heard from him since.
Its been 5 days. He won't answer any calls or texts from his best friend and his family told me that he is just not right. Hes staying with someone he barely knows. I have only run into him once and I completely avoided him. My roommate sees him at work sometimes, and the first time after this happened, he didn't talk to her or really acknowledge her. Yesterday she saw him, and he smiled and laughed like he usually would. A similar situation happened 2 years ago with us. A week and a half later, he was begging for me back and telling me he had no idea why he broke up with me. Last time, it required me to talk to him first.I'm not sure if he is bipolar or not, but with all the research I've done, all of the symptoms are very similar, and I have no other way to explain the sudden change in behavior and the rash decisions and irritability. I don't really know what to do. I don't know if I should continue to give him his space, or if I should try to talk to him. I feel like whoever this is, it isn't the man I've loved for years and I don't know how to get that man back. Any advice would be awesome. I have no idea what to do. Thanks.
The next morning, he finally replied to me, telling me he felt bad that he was making me so miserable and that it wasn't fair for me to be sad too. So he decided to stay with a friend of his for a while. I told him I understood and that I would give him his space for a few days. A few days later, I tried to call him and he didnt answer me. I texted him and asked if we were broken up and his response was "I dont know, I just can't be at the house anymore. I don't feel the same way about us. Things needed to change and they have." So I made him come and talk to me in person. He was very defensive, would not even look at me. Completely emotionless. I sat there bawling and he didn't change his facial expression at all. I asked him why he wanted this and he told me because things weren't the same between us and that we didn't even sleep in the same room anymore. All of this only started the week beforehand. Everything between us was perfectly fine before that. It's just like something switched in his head and he wasn't my boyfriend that I've known and loved for so long. We also have 2 cats and a dog together which are our "children" He told me that they were pretty much my pets anyway. He would never deny our animals. One of my cats walks around crying constantly and tries to bolt out the door anytime it gets opened. The house just doesn't feel the same without him. I had texted him and asked him if he needed me to pack anything up for him and when I didn't get an answer, I packed up most of his things into a few boxes and put them in the spare bedroom. The next morning he told me he just needed his checkbook. He came over the next day looking for his checkbook in the boxes. I told him it was all of his stuff and he should take it. He seemed to get slightly upset at this point, and wouldn't look at me. I asked him if he wanted to talk at all and he got very defensive and rude. He left in a hissy fit, and I texted him telling him I thought I was entitled to know what was going on. He told me not to be concerned with him anymore. That he was fine, taking care of himself and keeping busy. I told him I would give him his space and his time and was always there for him if he needed me. I havent heard from him since.
Its been 5 days. He won't answer any calls or texts from his best friend and his family told me that he is just not right. Hes staying with someone he barely knows. I have only run into him once and I completely avoided him. My roommate sees him at work sometimes, and the first time after this happened, he didn't talk to her or really acknowledge her. Yesterday she saw him, and he smiled and laughed like he usually would. A similar situation happened 2 years ago with us. A week and a half later, he was begging for me back and telling me he had no idea why he broke up with me. Last time, it required me to talk to him first.I'm not sure if he is bipolar or not, but with all the research I've done, all of the symptoms are very similar, and I have no other way to explain the sudden change in behavior and the rash decisions and irritability. I don't really know what to do. I don't know if I should continue to give him his space, or if I should try to talk to him. I feel like whoever this is, it isn't the man I've loved for years and I don't know how to get that man back. Any advice would be awesome. I have no idea what to do. Thanks.
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best leave. I've been having some trouble with my head lately myself; not sure what exactly. Social interaction has been taking immense effort and being undesirable and ineffective. I realize I am being horribly cruel to my family and I haven't spoken to any of my friends in months. I just really despise them although they used to be okay. Really not a whole lot I can do about it as I cannot work and without money I cannot afford to get treatment or live. It has to get really bad first: After one admission we get some free meds and qualify for government assistance. There are other programs but I have called around, asked around, emailed and researched but still cannot understand. They don't make it easy.
Just remember he's not the same person or his reasoning is gone while he is Ill.
Just remember he's not the same person or his reasoning is gone while he is Ill.
Hope you can extract something of use from my story.
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This is not meant to offend, but rather a forthright response. Bipolar is not a mental healthproblem that suddenly appears, nor is it an illness that can be so easily diagnosed. In fact most people can get misdiagnosed a few times b/c there are so many symptom simlar to other types of depressed states. There is an obvious problem w/ your boyfriend which requires he seek medical attention. However, nobody should ever plant the suggestion to anyone of having the illness or to claim it leave that to the doctors. I will say this it is not to be taken lightly
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My BF is Bipolar and the story above mirrors what recently happened to us. He up and walked out. He is a very private person and antisocial and he moved into a house with 3 strangers to rent a room...he made it all out to be my problem...so far in denial...He was so controlling and moody, my son and I walked on eggshells. He also broke up with me 1 1/2 years ago...but we go back together. It was like he loved me and my son one day and wanted nothing to do with us the next...I is truely sad to see the person you love in this emotional state...
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hi
don't leave just wait for 15-20 days and he'll get back to you.
we guyz can't survive without u.
one day he will realizze that how much u love him and he will be back so don't call or msg him for like 15-20 days and don't neglect him completely just casually talk to him..
i think this will help
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This could help me too. I have been with my boyfriend a couple of years and I haven't seen him for 10 weeks. We were fine, better than fine but we came back from a rather stressy holiday with my kids and he just upped and left my house. I mailed him, text and rang I even went to his house but he wouldn't answer the door or reply to any messages. He has sent me a couple of random texts to tell me he isn't in a good place. (he suffers with depression) but thats about it. I know he loves me how could he just change overnight? He has shut me out and his 2 best friends.
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'suicide' is what he is doing. He feels insignificant, like no one cares about him. He needs to talk to someone, which is why he's living with a person he barely knows. The person he talks to has to be outside of his social circle because he would feel too embarrassed to talk to anyone he knows. If this person comforts him, he will come back. If not, Suicide. I would recommend contacting this person to make sure they are guiding him in the right direction.
Symptoms:
He refuses to take any belongings, except his checkbook. He is leaving everything to you, isolating himself from those he cares about, and researching suicide.
Usually, before they do it, they try to be selfless. And he fits the criteria.
Symptoms:
He refuses to take any belongings, except his checkbook. He is leaving everything to you, isolating himself from those he cares about, and researching suicide.
Usually, before they do it, they try to be selfless. And he fits the criteria.
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Are you bipolar? My ex left me a few weeks ago. I don't know why I can't move on. I am almost sure he is seeing someone else. I have other guys asking me out but I just don't have it in me. I still miss him terribly! I understand that bipolar disorder is like this. They leave and come back. He left before about 8 months ago. He did come back. I don't know if he saw someone else during that time or not. I didn't ask. It was probably less than a month the last time. I have researched bipolar disorder enough to write a book, but I am still having a hard time coping. I am just so hurt! What do I do if he does come back. Is he only coming back because the new girl got tired of his c**p or did he crash or did he realize he screwed up? Goodness I can't concentrate!! Sick of feeling this way.
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