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from whatever this horrible illness may be. My first episode happened when I was only 4. I was sick & my mother had woken me up or I had awoken on my own in the middle of the night to take a dose of medicine. My mom placed me on our round porcelain kitchen table, my legs dangling off the side. She pours some liquid ibuprofen on a spoon, gives it to me then turns around to the sink to wash off the spoon. Within those few moments she says she caught my eyes roll to the back of my head & me falling back onto the table where she caught me. I don't remember exactly if this was around the time of which I went to a Neurologist & got an EEG done I believe? I am pretty sure the results came back as if everything was fine. I don't believe I had any more episodes until I was about 11 or 12 when in Pennsylvania visiting family for the summer. I slept on a couch of my great aunts' house on the second floor. One morning, I suppose my mom & dad & younger sister were already awake & down in the kitchen sitting at the table with my aunt. I sat up quick the second I awoke & heard voices, took a breath & headed for the stairs. As I walked down them, I had a huge headache & felt dizzy thinking I woke up sick as a dog or something. Upon approaching my family, I asked my father at the seat in my abrupt path in advance if I can sit down & that I felt very dizzy. As I voice these words I feel my entire body almost 'drain' I get real clammy then my mom says "Dad! She's as pale as a ghost, her lips are white" my dad then tells me to sit with my head below my knees, this made me feel somewhat better but I heard everyone talking & felt overwhelmed with noise & put my head up & didn't even feel like myself. I stared, pushed through my parents & headed back upstairs because I felt like laying down would make me feel extraordinarily better. I didn't make it up a few steps without losing full vision & falling with my father catching me. He brought me to the kitchen floor & put a cold, wet washcloth on my forehead. I felt somewhat relieved, then heard my mom speaking along the lines of calling 911 & getting an ambulance. This scared me, as I am horrified of needles.. blood.. pain.. the hospital.. etc. So I quick felt fine & was able to speak & objected. The ambulance took so long to arrive, I had already felt almost normal until they wanted the littlest of a finger prick, I felt all dizzy & nauseous all over but nothing happened I don't believe. Since this one, my mother was dead set on the fact that I had seizures; but was never taken to any specific doctors for anything. After age 11, I had more episodes. Each one being different in the overall symptoms, causes, & durations. I've had many a small one where I notice right away & lay down or squat or talk myself out of it. I've had a few that are larger with complete loss of consciousness. One time, I was in the shower & had cut myself shaving. I saw the blood, got scared but knew I had to talk myself out of whatever crazy thoughts I may put in my own head. I couldn't help but think of it though, so I felt my symptoms come along & called for my mom right upon getting dizzy, turned the shower off & got out.. shampoo in my hair & everything. My mom & sis came in & just stared at me. But the more they pointed out the bad things like my lips & whole body being a ghostly white & the cause of why I got so nauseous; the more I got afraid & continued to think of it. I then looked away from them for a moment then looked back at them when my sister, afraid, yelped my name. They both said I just blank stared like I wasn't there. My eyes then rolled after staring & I fell back onto the floor hitting my head on the concrete. My mother said I was shaking but my sister says she didn't see it. I came to after a little, but only my hearing did. The first words I hear were my mom talking about the hospital & 911! After having my hearing for a bit I was able to see my dad next to me with a washcloth pushed against my forehead. I said nooo I'm fine, talked her out of it, quite ironic from the time before. One was a small one that I had in my room by myself. This one was different because I hadn't fully lost consciousness & I was alone. I had just walked from my mothers room talking about an injury I was worried about on my left shin. There was a large bruise with a raised bump on my shin bone (i had hit it on something the day before) My dad told me to go ice it so I got ice & went to my room. I sat on the edge of my bed, my left leg on the bed with ice ontop of my shin & my right leg off the side of the bed. After icing it for a bit, I remember only thinking about my flippin' booboo & heard a ringing in my ears, felt nauseous, dizzy, & my vision blurred a bit. I then screamed "Mom! Mom! Leeeee!" (lee is my little sister) because I thought they were in the living room & could hear me. I felt as if I screamed with full force from the bottom of my soul yet noone heard a thing, not even my sister in law in the nearest room; so maybe no voice even came out. But I don't know because by then, the ringing was so bad it was all I could hear. I began to tremor & shake uncontrollably & fell face first onto my laptop. I didn't lose my vision fully though, I just couldn't hear, say or move anything. I layed there for what felt like 20-30 mins alone with the left side of my face on my computer just staring at the ground. After a fashion, I was able to hear my television due to the ringing slowly subsiding & my tv static-like vision slowly cleared. I talked myself to get up even if I was to run to my moms room & faint again I'd rather be with her. I walk across the house, & am quite positive all I thought of was: what happened, why, oh your leg, ouch, what is it, thinks of the worst, well now you're walking on it. I had felt my symptoms all creep up again on my journey across the house & by the time I was in my parents doorway, I had lost my vision. I got an image of my moms room in my head though from being there for a split second & was able to sit down with not being able to see with my back up against her bed. My little sister said when she saw me randomly appear at moms door that I didn't look like myself & was staring off to the right the entire time. (when in other times, my eyes would roll or just stare straight) during this time on the floor I heard everything but didn't see.. all my family's voices & could hear myself trying to talk myself back to reality. I truly felt like I was dying almost, my brain was there but my body wasn't. I was somehow able to talk myself to a vision where I see my mom chaotic as ever, my sister frantically crying & my dad to my right just as calm as ever standing with his arms crossed yelling at me for not answering my little sister when she asked if I was okay when I came into there room. I felt horrible because I didn't know she had asked anything, as I could not hear & I could not even see her in the room let alone have been able to give an answer verbally anyways. By this time I questioned why my father always seemed fine when these fainting spells happened to me whereas my mother screaming, yelling, making me think of the problem & making it all the more chaotic & worse for me. I thought, my dad has got to have these. If he always knows what to do for me, then he must have had them when he was younger or been around them so that's what I told my mom later that day. She then said she had said something about it to him earlier & he said he used to always get those by himself or before he was about to give blood or something. I knew it had to be hereditary & I know my dad has never went to a doctor or told anyone of it because he is so fearful of the doctor, the results, all what could really be wrong with him. Because I have that extreme fear myself but just as much as I'm scared, I am curious as to what is wrong with me. Scratch that, us. Because I know once I begin this journey, he'll be the one all the history would be linked to & I know once I try to find out all what's wrong with me, they'll need to find out all what's wrong with him as well. The last few were between 12-16. As of today, I'm 17 turning 18 this December. I'm afraid to pursue anything in my life because of this. I haven't got a permit, job, hardly go out anymore & deprive myself of doctors visits I know are necessary. Everyone gets hurt in their lives, & it'd be my dream to one day have children. Now, if I can't even deal with a shot, bruise or cut how am I to deal with a fracture, broken bone or even getting pregnant someday!? I've been doing a lot of research lately because I'm more curious as to how to deal with getting what I have dealt with. There's a lot that I feel I have thats related to some form of syncope possibly? As I mentioned before, my mother thought I had some form of seizures but I don't feel they're that bad, I don't foam at the mouth or anything but I have shook during some. I think it could be Vasovagal Syncope, or situational syncope (due to medical accidents being the main trigger) I also, my mom recently told me which I never knew, have heart issues. Something like a murmur or irregular beat or something like that, she doesn't remember. But I know this is part of it, I also know my brain is messed up. I know I think very differently than I should, pretty sure I've got OCD and some kind of anxiety disorder/hypotension? I just really want to know if furthering this unknown investigation would be worth me confronting my worst fears for. Like, I know if I get blood drawn or he littlest test done I'm sure they'll see me passout so maybe it'd all be a good thing but I am so afraid. I just would like to know if anyone else suffers from this, if you've found a way to cope with it or went to a doctor for it. Any form of insight is greatly appreciated! Thankyou for reading through my rant, God bless!!


There are some symptoms of seizures that not all people get, Actually some of the worse sounding ones are not that common. Syncope is a likely cause, but seizures also are. It would be hard to find out without an Eeg and proper evaluation, I would recommend getting evaluated for seizures first since many conditions are mistaken for or misdiagnosed as syncope ( I had been misdiagnosed with syncope myself until I was further evaluated a few years later). Both conditions are treatable, so if you get evaluated and found to have either there are medicines to help you get back to at least a somewhat normal lifestyle. Even if it is something else getting it evaluated will help in the long run since there are treatments for many conditions now. I know how you feel, it helps to try to relax a little even if your injured don't worry about it ( i know its hard not to worry but you'll be able to handle it better as long as you put in some effort).