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im hella frikkin late to this but I lack the ability to let go I flipped the first time I tried x eventually got up to 8 in a night all the way in to the next day watching it snow in my bed room countless shadow people I have eventually given it up moving to va from Seattle it really was great frikkin times though but I still trip with weed and other stuff I believe it's the ability not to beable to let go of your control I hated shrooms with a passion only tried LSD once liked that drug phases die or you die it's a fact my mother is a dead alcoholic
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Um, at least half of the posts here sound as though users are having panic attacks. I can't speak for the heavy users but if you have anxiety (taking the drug to feel better in social situation etc) or start freaking out and thinking your heart is beating fast, panicking and thinking you're going to die, it's all panic attack symptoms. If you're fine after you come up YOU ARE FINE. It's just an intense trip and feeling cold/hot, focusing on your physical symptoms (like noticing your heart beating fast) then thinking you're going to die are all panic attack symptoms. 

I took three double stacked pills and half a MAOI (very stupid) and rolled all night and had severe panic attacks and ever since then even if I have coffee I can get panic attacks because it produces stimulant effects. If you just think to yourself you'll be fine you will be fine and that's how I'm getting over it. X by itself (can't comment on the other drugs) has only had two reported cases of causing heart attacks in users and people very rarely die from it, but once you associate the feeling of X with dying it'll keep triggering the attacks. I also know lots of heavy drug users who have been fine and not suffered from heart attacks so if you're a low dose user and in good shape you should be sweet. Remember it does f**k up your mood (depletes important neuron transmitters which keep you happy) and your memory so high usage is probably a very dumb idea. You should have a three month break between each pill, that's how long it takes for your brain to recover and always remember to take 5htp afterwards to stop yourself from feeling depressed.   

Taking some this weekend, hopefully I'll be good :) 
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Your depleting important neuron transmitters which keep you happy and generally under control. You damage them with increased usage of ecxtasy and the more you abuse it the worse you will feel. Time doesn't heal neuron transmitters, once they have been degraded and die off they dont grow back, they are gone. You only have so many of these neuro transmitters, they are deep in your brain used for a whole large and very wide range of things. Abuse is x users means more than 3 pills a month, if it's pure x your lucky, because all the dirty sh*t x gets cut with causes brain damage also. However just because it's pure x, doesn't mean you'll be spared, it just means you'll be doing even more damage to your brain if you are using it more than once a month. Cocaine and speed do worse damage to your brain and neuro tranmitters, than x, although abuse of most designer drugs wont do you any favours mentally long term. You feel you can't string sentences together, have poor sleep, feel useless without the drug inside you, have no energy off the drug, cannot follow through on tasks or promises, have warped perceptions on who people are, lust after sexual pleasure from strangers, feel in exstasy, love everyone and thin when on it, feel euphoric and unbreakable, waste all your money on it, try to achive the same high or better, so you find you must take more..? Truth is, if this is you, soon you'll regret the very past of your x use completely, and you will know why. Seretonin wont replenish eventually, because it cant, your brain doesn't know how to anymore, because you abused it for too long. You wont ever reach the euphoric high you can only barely remember you used to get on x because the chemical in the x doesn't give you the high, the mdma only unlocks your stores of seretonin that you have in reserve in your brain that have produced naturally. Taking more wont produce more seretonin, it will do nothing unless there is seretonin left in your brain. Server damage will happen in less than 4 months, if you abuse it. Remember more than 3 pills a month is classed as abusing, this is only a ball park figure, but either way, you feel great now, your speech in a short amount of time will be slurred, you wont think normally, you cant say or express what you want to say properly and mentally everything will wind down a notch or 10, and you will find yourself asking WHY OH WHY HAVE I DONE THIS TO MYSELF, WAS IT WORTH IT? X Is an illegal drug, why you ask. Because it was found to cause brain damage, like coc narcotics etc. If you are young and haven't tried x, take at your own risk. If you get hooked your screwed, and that is putting it mildly. Don't risk the "little bit more will be ok fantasy" in your mind, because that's how you get addicted, and b4 you know it, everthing and everyone that ever meant anything to you is now gone, because you let it go to waste. Trust me people, if you can moderate your use of x to once every 3 months, you might be ok. Remember any amount of Alcohol, amphetamine, drug in general, WILL CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE, LETS NOT FORGET THIS 1 TRUE FACT.!! You wanna kid yourself and think you cant get brain damage, then take the x, go for it, and when your sitting here in 3 years time stuttering unable to speak properly and depressed amoung so many other noticable life long effects it's created, spare a thought for those millions of neuro transmitters you fried, that you will never get back,they were there for a reason boys and girls, and look mwhat you went and did. Don't abuse yourself people, drug abuse will never make things better, never has and never will!!! This is your last warning. Do not take it lightly.
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Guest wrote:addiction= "my body tells me im ready for another dose."
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well this is my story, im 20 and i only done it a couple of times and i always leave a cap in between like 6 months but what screwed me up was shrooms which i did when i was 18 and i feel like thats the reason why im slow at times, but i been taking care of myself. and im thinking of doing it a couple more times and then quit. and is scary all the things u guys tell me. and my boyfriend had a heart problem when he was younger now he is 21. so i want he to try it just once but im scared something bad can happen !! 
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In my opinion, I think that it's all mental. At the end of the day, it's a drug, and once it wears off... it wears off. Its an incredible expirience and it will impact your life dramatically, But don't let it control your life. Remember that it's just a pill, who give a f**k

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hello Peeps , i am now 20 and have been taking different drugs since i was 17.... altho much less in recent years

i had problems with mdma been that 2 or 3 days after taking it , when i was trying to get to sleep on a night , i would close my eyes and have some sort of panic attack where i would be inable to open them and is/scary.... i never took any mdma for years until this xmas , the same thing happened when trying to get to sleep ,,,, then the following day my heart was beating faster than normal and i had to keep busy to take my mind off it ..... i could not get to sleep i was f*****g scared ,,,, i have a family etc ........ the followin day my heart was back to normal but 3 days or so on i still feel lethargic and it has really knocked the wind out of my sails ....... if i dont get much better i willl have to go and see my doctor .... i used to always say drugs were safe bla bla bla ......  but i want to live and can safely say i will be never taking drugs again ...
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I graduated high school at 15, I am/was very talented and diverse in life style. I have played most sports you can think of, cooked well, wrote music, played almost any stringed instrument within 30 minutes of picking it up, I could dance awesome, learned things extremely fast. I was all about being able to do anything I put my mind to, and wanted to be as diverse as possible, trying new things, having friends of every race, backround, lifestyle and religion. I decided to add one more thing to my list, mainly because I wanted to be able to connect to people who have experienced this and understand them a little better. I have only done the drug a few times, yet I now feel sluggish, lose my train of thought frequently and have a hard time doing things I was already good at, let alone learning new things. I hope this passes over and I am still just recovering from a few weeks ago, but I think thats kidding myself. DON'T do this sh*t! All it does is amplify natural feelings and emotions you already have and can experience, the right way. the way they last longer than 2 hours with complete strangers who really don't care beyond the fake sense of intimacy with friends and f**k buddies that you will have for 60 minutes or so. Sincerely one who screwed up
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Try something like marijuana that might help. 
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Bro all you need to understand is that it's a drug. Nothing more and nothing less. Drug use is a hallway full of doors and every door is a different drug. once a door has been opened it will never close. But if the door remAins closed then you will never know what yOur missing. I've roller several times and can relate but all it comes down to is it's just a drug which you Need to let go if it's that much of a problem.
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Guys, I wouldn't recommend taking anything else in any of your situations. DON'T MIX DRUGS, that's what kills! But it seems as if you all are so scarred of dying, Like I, but you are a fun seeker, so in many cases the worry of dying would cause your family, etc to look down on you....but of course you would be dead, but what kind of death would you want of being disappointed...that's their last thought of you..and you are gone. What I'm getting at, is I would relax, x seems to have caused you a case of anxiety. Anxiety is feeling extremely scarred, feeling your heart beat, paranoia. Calm yourself, relax, enjoy the music, chill...stop thinking about things, you are freaking everyone around you out just as much. I know, that might seem selfish, but anyone can freak out on it, but having a good time is what it's about. Yes, sure taking care of yourself and focusing to help yourself is good, but you probably just have anxiety. Unless someone posts that they know someone who felt that way and then died.....it sounds like anxiety, which I never knew what anxiety felt like until I started doing those things...now I understand the feeling, and realize no matter if you worry or not, you are there...so freaking out will only make you more freaked out. Unless you take more, nothing will change, you are already on it, unless you are going to a doctor...who will probably just give you something to relax....but in a secure setting. The guy who posted about taking 5 one day...and use to take 10 a day no problem. He for sure overdosed, you don't go back to what you USE TO TAKE...??? your tolerance isn't built up, unless you are consistant. Never assume you are built up. I use to be at 12, but then I read up on it, and your brain hits a point where it has no more to give, you aren't increasing....so even though I was taking 12 a day, i suddenly decided, hey, let me try 2....it still worked! i still enjoyed myself...but we saved some cash. Stop feeling you are so Allmighty and tolerant...that's what catches up to you and gives you sever issues, like bad hearts, etc etc valve problems like posted above....and death happens with too many. Don't take too many of anything. You are not immortal...and it doesn't make you any cooler by saying you take 10 a day. People go, wow that's crazy, and are thinking you must have mush for brain. That's not cool. And like I said you will get the same with less, you only have so much serotonin. Stop doing that much. Just try out less, and be excited, not pessamistic. Be like, hey how much cheaper it will be, and how much brain you will save, and the better you will be doing to your body in the long run. nobody wants brain damage, they just want a fun time...so be open minded and try less....you'll be surprisingly happy with the results...if you do it with an open mind, instead of saying, naw that's bs, i'm so tough, i do blah blah blah....you are only convincing yourself....nobody cares, it's actually better that you aren't grubby. I love it when my friends get drunk off a few beers...i'm like, sweet more parties i can throw...though the few beers rarely happens, but i know a few people. Hey, it's cool, you aren't greedy and you are enjoying, nobody really likes a hog....they might say that's neat, but easily pleased is the best advice in life. Plus it will only help you anywho.
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21. 2 years taking E. This was actually pretty touching. I have not taken as many as you but I know forsure that I permanently quit. I've had tight pressured chest pains since i last took 3 mollys on 2/18/12 for the first time in a year. Ive been kinda depressed these past days: Smiling without a happy thought just to keep myself focused. I think at the position you are currently in, with a family and great income, you should just exercise and enjoy life without the pill. Suana helped me sweat alot of the drug out and working out has kept me busy and active. I usually have just been drinking and smoking on the weekends.
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Ecstasy is crazy. I can count with both my hands how many times i used it and let me tell you it still affected me big time:( I did a lot of research while i was still an 'user' and i found ecstasy is a depressant (proven) Why? I felt extremely sad for no reason whatsoever, i called my friends and cried on the phone and i had no idea why i was feeling so down, i dont know if you've heard when you're coming down from your trip you might feel a little sad, well the first time i used it i didnt feel like that at all but some of the following times yes. I can say im very proud i stopped it, because i dont know how much more it wouldve damaged me, i also have this probem with memory, and again, i dont know if you've  ever heard anyone say ecstasy makes holes in your brain? well not literally but it does affect the brain, in memory terms. I can be talking with a person, and this is very very embarrassing to me and i cant help it, i can be talking and in the middle of conversation, bam, nothing, i dont know what i was talking about, it just erases. Think twice if youre an user, i loved the feeling, i loved how i was able to relate to people better when i was on it, how i felt so confident, yeah its nice but i guess find other means to get this, stay true to you, be strong, look at the pretty side of the world, there IS, and if youre able to achieve it youll be so proud it was not with ecstasy, and then youll be truly happy...
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Drugs have messed me up in a big way. Through a roughly ten month period of my life i ruined myself most weekends and a fair few weekdays. It started out with a few lines of coke here and there but after about a month it would take a gram before any standard night out, a few months of this went by and coke became boring (ran out too fast and cost way too much). It was a friends birthday and as it was a special occasion we got hold of some mdma (about 1/3 of a g each coupled with half a g of coke and a lot of alcohol). Started of with a small line to test the water and found it fairly enjoyable so bombed up the remainder into three bombs and took over the next few hours punctuated by lines of coke, fair to say i was sold on md, never have i felt so happy and in touch with everyone. From that point coke was forgotten, unless it was some almighty strong stuff at mates rates, soon i was taking a g of the stuff before/during a night out and loving life. it would catch me occasionally and i'd end up sweating profusely with eyes in the back of my head but never once did i fear for my life. After a while of this the comedowns would get real bad, any standing up would result in almost blacking out and needing a wall to walk anywhere. My immune system also crashed, i would pop a spot then an open sore would appear and spread and scab until i had to go doctors for antibiotics, this happened twice.
The end of this ten month career came with a lads holiday to ibiza, we all knew what this was going to be and on the ride from the airport to the hotel everyone had already acquired a couple of g's of fairly good coke, this would also be the first time i had decent quality pills. The first day was spent doing coke and drinking at a bar, followed by a gig then i trotted off to find some md. Asking a few reps soon lead me to a decent supplier so i acquired a g for my and a friend, being outside with no decent surfaces for bomb making i crushed the whole lot up and split it into two bombs. All i remember after dropping is the lights having tracers then nothing, woke up in the hotel in the morning. Second night followed with a .4g bomb, this led to some hallucinating but nothing i hadn't experienced on md before. The rest of the week was pill heavy and alcohol, i don't know what these pills were cut with but they hit me like a steam train, massive body rush on the up (probably amphetamine). There are a few hours that will remain lost to these moments. Anyway after this week reading festival followed, i took it slow though, part due to having my nose broken and the impossibility of snorting anything and part the effects i will discuss.
After Ibiza i struggled to sleep for about a week, anytime i slipped halfway in unconsciousness my whole body would jump waking me (This has happened before but usually only lasting for the night of the night out). I referred to myself as 'we' in my thoughts instead of 'I' but once i caught myself doing it managed to meditate and stop. I looked grey despite the tan according to my folks. My pulse would randomly sky rocket to the point i'd have to sit down and concentrate on breathing to lower it. Pains in my chest and wrist were common. Thinking in a linear logical sense was difficult as was following a conversation. I'd sleep for 14 hours+ a day. This all persisted for three months, it got to the point i'd go outside and think how nice a day it would be to die (i wasn't suicidal just convinced at any point i was about to have a heart attack). Despite being a heavy weed smoker i can no longer smoke it, smoking it brings an hour of being high followed by an mdma style come up and a panic attack (never experienced one before and i was convinced it heart attack i had been waiting for). it has now been 6 months since the holiday i still wake up very occasionally in the night on the verge of a panic attack but i have long since learnt to control them. 
The only drugs i have done since are a few tokes on a joint when drunk, a couple of lines of coke before a big night out, a few lines of md before a few all night raves and most recently a few keys of a research chemical upper. These are greeted in the morning by arm pains and after the recent one i have resolved to do better at abstaining from drugs.
In conclusion, i would never change those months of my life for anything, they are the most fun i have had and may ever have in my life. I'm unsure how much my symptoms are physical or just psychological (I say 'just' but your mind makes it very real).  My short term memory is slowly getting better not helped by the amount i drink to replace my drug taking. I'm in my last year of uni and i have lost all motivation or caring, recently spent 9 weeks in bed due to self-diagnosed depression after i managed to break out of it, by writing down every thought i had (they make for an interesting read). I feel i have made myself dumber, i am no longer as quick witted or able to easily understand the vast amount of maths my course entails. Even writing this took many corrections for spelling or missing words. My brain now skips forward ahead of my body then forgets it has. I've just started going gym and my pulse maxes at the 198 bpm mark, which is high, oh so high.
If anyone bothers to read this, it was as much for myself as anyone else, i don't discourage taking md just don't be stupid. Get mashed then enjoy that level instead of pushing for a bigger thrill. For anyone experiencing these symptoms it will get better it just takes some time and willpower.
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I think you have trapped wind it can hurt a lot and because you where off your face on "x" you thought the worst!
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