Hi,
I'm new to these forums but well, I found the courage today. Googeling answers sadly did not help.
Phew. Um... where to start...
How about like this.
I'm 20 years old and lost my virginity about 1 and a half months ago to my current girlfriend. We love each other a lot and it feels amazing when I'm inside her. But somehow, no matter how good it feels, I can't ejaculate. I do not have an orgasm.
Things you should know:
- We've talked about it a lot, we're honest with each other. We've run through some possible theories.
- I wouldn't say that I have a record of too much masturbation in my single years. Twice daily at the peak, but even that was rare. normally it was once daily, sometimes I didn't at all. Um in recent times I've tried it again (i didn't do it for a long time at the start of our relationship and even in this case only twice) and it works, but only after QUITE a while. Could it be that I'm too used to being single?
- I know this might be problem. Subconciously, or half-consciously I worry during sex. during my first time, i was sick and well just didn't feel much. Since then I've been worried that the next time i won't cum again. She knows this and i know she doesn't want me to worry But I also don't know how to get rid of the feeling. Ironic. I don't want her to worry about me not ejaculating.
- We don't use condoms, we trust each other, she's a blood doner and I was a friggin virgin before her.
- we like to 1. pleasure each other without having sex, just that sometimes, (precum, she gets wet) 2. we have tremendous foreplay.
Things I've tried out:
- I went to my urologist in case of infection or medical issues and after some blood samples, ultrasound and other tests I finally found out that no, nothing's wrong down there (medically).
- well, i've TRIED to relax and not to worry, and as i said, i manage... kind of but, well not completely, half-consciously i still do, somehow.
- googeling! not masturbating! argh.
Thank god sex isn't important to us. this isn't that big a deal for us, it's just something that bugs us^^.
Remember, It's great being inside her for me, I love her a lot.
And I'd love it if you people could help us. After all, it is annoying ;-).
I'm new to these forums but well, I found the courage today. Googeling answers sadly did not help.
Phew. Um... where to start...
How about like this.
I'm 20 years old and lost my virginity about 1 and a half months ago to my current girlfriend. We love each other a lot and it feels amazing when I'm inside her. But somehow, no matter how good it feels, I can't ejaculate. I do not have an orgasm.
Things you should know:
- We've talked about it a lot, we're honest with each other. We've run through some possible theories.
- I wouldn't say that I have a record of too much masturbation in my single years. Twice daily at the peak, but even that was rare. normally it was once daily, sometimes I didn't at all. Um in recent times I've tried it again (i didn't do it for a long time at the start of our relationship and even in this case only twice) and it works, but only after QUITE a while. Could it be that I'm too used to being single?
- I know this might be problem. Subconciously, or half-consciously I worry during sex. during my first time, i was sick and well just didn't feel much. Since then I've been worried that the next time i won't cum again. She knows this and i know she doesn't want me to worry But I also don't know how to get rid of the feeling. Ironic. I don't want her to worry about me not ejaculating.
- We don't use condoms, we trust each other, she's a blood doner and I was a friggin virgin before her.
- we like to 1. pleasure each other without having sex, just that sometimes, (precum, she gets wet) 2. we have tremendous foreplay.
Things I've tried out:
- I went to my urologist in case of infection or medical issues and after some blood samples, ultrasound and other tests I finally found out that no, nothing's wrong down there (medically).
- well, i've TRIED to relax and not to worry, and as i said, i manage... kind of but, well not completely, half-consciously i still do, somehow.
- googeling! not masturbating! argh.
Thank god sex isn't important to us. this isn't that big a deal for us, it's just something that bugs us^^.
Remember, It's great being inside her for me, I love her a lot.
And I'd love it if you people could help us. After all, it is annoying ;-).
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Hi,
Welcome to the forums.
You've taken care of the physical aspects, seeing your urologist was a good idea. Since you can masturbate, I don't think it's physical.
You know about the mental aspects. You're worried during sex. That will turn you off no matter what else is happening. Your first time wasn't successful and now you're afraid of not performing.
What is is that is causing your worry? Is it pregnancy? Maybe you should wear a condom to help ease that concern.
I think that by continuing to talk to your girlfriend you're doing the best thing. She's there for you so it will happen. Just continue to focus on the foreplay and relax. The rest will happen.
Good luck, keep us posted.
Welcome to the forums.
You've taken care of the physical aspects, seeing your urologist was a good idea. Since you can masturbate, I don't think it's physical.
You know about the mental aspects. You're worried during sex. That will turn you off no matter what else is happening. Your first time wasn't successful and now you're afraid of not performing.
What is is that is causing your worry? Is it pregnancy? Maybe you should wear a condom to help ease that concern.
I think that by continuing to talk to your girlfriend you're doing the best thing. She's there for you so it will happen. Just continue to focus on the foreplay and relax. The rest will happen.
Good luck, keep us posted.
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Hi, thank you very much for the speedy reply.
The issue is very complex in that my girlfirend has had very bad experiences with sex in her past. She had tried to make our first time absolutely perfect, and when it didn't work, she was devastated. Ergo, I don't want her to go through that again, nor do I want her to think it's her fault.
That's my worry...
Thank you again for your response, I will be reflecting on that.
The issue is very complex in that my girlfirend has had very bad experiences with sex in her past. She had tried to make our first time absolutely perfect, and when it didn't work, she was devastated. Ergo, I don't want her to go through that again, nor do I want her to think it's her fault.
That's my worry...
Thank you again for your response, I will be reflecting on that.
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