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I am coming into day 33 off the suboxone after about a year and a half of use/abuse. It was three years of opiate abuse before that. I jumped off the subs from 4mg per day which I realized after was too high. Didn't have a choice because of intervention and general drama. I had NO idea that the subs could have severe withdrawal symptoms. Needless to say, what I learned on the posts here scared the sh$$ out of me. 33 gone now and I have to say it was not as bad as I thought. In my addiction I had never withdrawn before because I was such a compulsive user and still had the means to get what I need for 'tomorrow.' Days 4-5 were worst days and nights 7-8 were worst nights. It was pretty much over by day 10. Worst overall was night 7 when I only slept like 4 hours. Up at 3am with anxiousness, restless leg, and racing heart. My two cents: I exercised (ran) every day for the first 8 days. I really believe I was pushing the toxins out by training. I would push myself to get a good sweat out and it smelled awful. I think this was accelerating the detox. I was also able to convince myself that the aches and pains were from workouts and not withdrawal ( it's kinda silly but viewing it this way helped with esteem and shame issues I was dealing with). I also took vitamin b, multivitamin, and flaxseed oil. I am staying with parents for now and I ate better (meat and potatoes) than I had in years. I also attended NA every night. It is my first time in the rooms and I was committed to not just kicking but also beginning a long term recovery. The nightly meetings really strengthened my resolve and offered a good distraction from the depression associated with sub withdrawal. I should also add that I did take an over the counter sleep aid (unisom or nytol). It's not optimal for recovery but I knew not sleeping would be a huge issue for me. With a little clean time now I really cannot believe the satisfaction of being free from the day to day 'got to have it' feeling. I hadn't put two clean days together in 3 years. The freedom to think about a day without using is well worth the detox. My advice: exercise, vitamin, build the long term recovery through the fellowship of NA. Good luck, God bless. You can do it.

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Yay :) a positive sub withdrawal post!!!! Can't believe it ;) lol I'm only on day 12 off them but it isn't as bad as every1 makes out I was terrified reading stuff I found from google! When did ur sleeping at night get better?? That's really the only thing that's doing my box in :@ But I have done heroin w/d years ago & also methadone w/d b4 I started they subs! And defo found sub w/d easier :) Just need a god damn sleep!!!
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Sorry for delay. Sleep came back by night 8. Like I said I was using an OTC sleep aid The most obvious symptom after the first week was the 'tummy issues.' I didn't mind at first because between subs and Percs I hadn't really gone to the bathroom in years. However I started a new job on day 8 and nearly sh$$ myself on the way to work the first morning. God helps us by keeping us humble I guess. Hope your doing well. I still have a hard time believing that I am free from the day to day slavery of 'gotta have it.' I've seen a lot of posts where people are going back to drug of choice to detox off the subs. I totally understand the urge but they are kidding themselves and prolonging the addiction cycle. Take the pain for a week it's not that bad. I think people are just self deceiving themselves because what they really want is an excuse to go back to DOC. I know I thought about it but it was my addiction trying to trick me not a real need to help detox. Good luck and God bless.
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Defo mate :) Opiates of any kind r evil! Wasted 14 yr of my life on some sort! Best way is 2 come off & stay off! We don't have any N/A meetings in my area which is quite c**p :( but in the last city I stayed they were amazing!! Abit wierd 2 start with coz every1 would give me a hug :) ha ha But I got used 2 it!! I'm now using a 2mg diazepam at night :/ which my drug worker is against but I need something coz I feel like my heart is going 2 jump out my freaking chest :/ Glad ur doing good still :) :) x
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So pleased to see this post! I am just starting my detox from 2mg and from reading some of the posts on here it was the fear of it that was making it worse, u should be extremely proud of ur self, well done, xx hi mummy of 2 glad to see ur doing well, thanku for ur replies on my other post, really encouraging! Let's make this forum more positive! I'll keep u updated, I feel better just after reading this thankyou both xxx
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Hi mummy. I am glad you got something two help at night. I was too got see a doc to help with he detox but the first thing he told me was that, after six days clean, I HAD To go back onto the subs because 4 mg was to high to come off from. The scone hung he told me was hat despite my health insurance I would need to give him a $500 cash only copay. The fu$&ing guy was worse than my dealer. Unfortunately in the US many docs aren't much more than dealers. Their compensation encourages writing scrips and discourages them from investing e time in actual treatment. Anyway I didn't want to go back (well a little bit of me wanted to go back) on subs with nearly a week invested in detox. Now I'm really glad I didn't see him. I'm pretty sure if I had I would stop be trying to taper down instead of having 39 clean days.
It's too bad about not having a local NA group. I guess if you are dedicated to some of the forums and posting you could kinda simulate it here. It's funny you mentioned the hugs. My first meeting I was in full detox mode and everyone wanted to big me. I was like "what the f$&@ is this about". I wasn't really comfortable with it but as time goes by I realize that the discomfort of that kind of public affection is part of the disesase.
To he original point, I really think that exercise the first 8-9 days helped push the detox along faster than otherwise. It's not easy to get it done when your hurting but I think it's worth it. NA and prayer helped too.
Really glad to hear you are both doing well. Good luck and God Bless
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Hey mates :) Hope uz r doing good That's me 3wks off the subs 2day!! Must admit it feels like 3mth but totally worth it :) The excercise advice was the best even though I could barely be assed doing anything at all!!! Swedish house mafia album has helped me LOADS :) lol So glad I bought it!! Think its my recovery music!! It's like as soon as I put it on I come alive :) ha ha I've not had any sleeping tabs 4 2nights now I'm not having an amazing sleep but its bearable especially with my 2 toddlers I've been having crazy mental dreams & I wake up at half6 every morning still with a dodgy belly but it's worth it rather than being reliable on the tabs or anything else!! I'm still sneezing quite a lot but think its coz I've not been taking my vitamins Life is SO much better!! My sons dad is still using heroin pretty bad & keeps trying 2 get me 2 have a "burn" with him (that's what it's called in the UK) so I've told him 2 keep away from me & I'm proud of myself coz I really want 2 sometimes but feck going through w/d again Think he's just jealous I'm doing so well :/ coz he obviously doesn't give a damn about my recovery :( Anyway I know they usually delete email & web addresses but do u know of any names etc I can google Like a sort of positive N/A website or along they lines!!! Thanks again 4 ur replys!!! Life is 2 short 2 waste!!! Hope u both r still going strong & much love from across the pond <3 xxxx
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Hello guys. Going strong at 45 days. It's crazy but I think I am still feeling some of the mild withdrawal symptoms. Sneezing, wrestless leg and occasional racing heart. Other than that all is well. Looking back now I can't believe how hopeless and desperate I had become to make sure I had 'it' everyday.

Mummy I don't know the exact web address but if you search na forum or recovery forum there are tons of sites. There are also a lot of phone apps with recovery readings and sobriety calculators.

I've stayed off of alcohol since 2007 and really fell into drugs as an alternative. It's stupid but I believed booze was going to kill me fast. Point is I didn't do any recovery to quit booze, I just stopped and I know that is why I wound up on drugs. This time I want to do the important work on myself to make sure 1, 2, or 3 years from now I don't end up relapsing again. The work is to build a recovery foundation with the 12 steps. 12 steps require you to take a good look at yourself and think about why we are addicts. There are lots of 12 step resources online as well as workbooks that give you questions to fill out for each step. Doing the step questions slowly has helped a lot and like I said, hopefully it will get me sober for the long term.

It sucks about your boys dad but I am starting to see a lot of things like that. People who envy our sobriety trying to knock us off track. Important thing is dont use and remember its our choice and there's nothing we can do about other people.

I was three weeks into detox when wife told me she wants divorce. I was furious, like what sort of thing is that to tell someone who's fighting the fight of their lives against addiction. I recognized that the anger was just going to make me hurt myself and through God's Grace it went away. All I struggle with now is missing my sons. I'm proud to be at 45 days but I can't forget that 45 days clean also means its been 45 days since I spent the night under the same roof as my babies. I am struggling with whether I should let it go or if I should fight my wife to get them back. I think the answer is to let go of what's out of our control but when it comes to your kids how can I? I'm praying for help but either not getting or not hearing the answer.

Hang in there. Glad the workouts helped. Did you notice how bad the sweat stank. Sorry that's kinda personal but I really believed it was all the junk coming out of system. I am not familiar with the house party anthem but I think my recovery song is turning out to be Sail by awolnation and "I ain't no nice guy" by Motörhead.

As someone told me early "it's easier to stay clean than to get clean"

Live and prayers. God Bless.
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Well done on day 45 That's amazing especially with going through that with ur wife & sons :/ don't know how u do it!! But once uv been clean abit longer I'm sure ul get 2 c them! To tell the truth my kids r what keeps me going We want them 2 be proud of us & look up 2 us! At the end of week 1 off the subs I was so close 2 phoning the social work 2 take my kids away coz I felt I couldn't care 4 them properly (so glad I didn't now) If I never had them I know 4 a fact id be in jail or worse dead!! I hope ur wife realiases how well u have done & r still doing!!! It's the most difficult thing in the world addiction (of any kind)
I found the NA site with the forums Thanks They also have online meetings & Skype meetings but don't think I have the confidence 2 do that yet! I've been reading my "just for today" book that's really been helping & I think I defo will start my 12 steps again coz it's been nearly 10yrs since I last tried!! Sundays just for today really hit home with me :/ going on about u can't change an addict who doesn't want 2 change That u can only carry the message etc :( I hate being a single mum but I know it's what's best just now! I had the choice 5yrs ago 2 either stay with my daughters dad (talking,selling crack & heroin) or move cities & cut contact with him! I did the later & now 5yr on he is taking me 2 court 4 contact! I'd be fine with that but by the power of fbook I know he is still a heavy IV user so needs 2 sort himself out Now my 2yr old sons dad is TRYING 2 stop using but really when he gets his wages he buys big bits of H until he has no money by the end of the weekend & then stops 4 4days (till he gets his wages again) It's a vicious circle that I don't want any part of!! Soz 4 going on my head is total minced with it all! And 2 be honest the only thing that is helping me at night is alcohol :( which obviously isn't good!! I've never really been into the stuff!! I don't want 2 swap 1 addiction 4 another!! Anyway thanks 4 the reply!! And seriously well done on how far uv got!! Xxx Michelle xxx
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Hi Michelle . Thanks for the encouraging words. Even online it means a lot. It sounds like you have plenty of you own crazy sh!@ going on. How do we survive it. I had everything in the world going right for me and I walked right into a drug problem. Now my world is falling apart and I am clinging to my sober time like it is the last lifeboat on the ocean. My na friend tells me that the feelings of emptiness and loss are exactly where I should be (1st step) because it prepares you to ask God for help and intervention (2nd step). I get it but it isn't easy.

It sounds like your situation with exes is even tougher. I give you a lot of credit for doing the right thing for your kids with all of the madness going on around you. You sound like a great mom.

Alcohol was my first love and it has a serious desire to see me dead. The crazy thing is that nearly 6 years off of it and 6 weeks off the suboxone all I think.about is drinking. I drive past bars and I feel like the neon signs in the windows are calling me. Fu(&!?# crazy.

I really hope you will try to Skype some online meetings. Even if you don't talk absorbing other people's pain and learning to express empathy is the cure for recovering addicts. I don't completely understand how it works but I know I missed meetings four days last week and u felt like I was gonna lose my mind. Went on Saturday and it was best meeting so far. Only 6 guys showed up, everyone was having problems and really angry and after an hour we were all laughing. Magic moment.

My prayers are with you and everyone else trying to kick. It's not easy but I don't want to be a slave anymore.

Good luck and God bless.
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Hi pat Thanks lots 4 replying Sorry I was in abit of a bad way emotionally the other day & let off abit of steam on this!!
I'm 4 weeks & 1 day off the subs now Which I never expected Its great not having 2 remember 2 go get my script every Friday & not taking something 2 make me feel normal everyday!! My stomach still isn't 100% but think the alcohol had a lot 2 do with that! I'm not drinking as I can't afford it anyway! Plus it's not been helpful even though I thought it was helping me sleep!!
Anyway this forum has been a great support 2 me especially with my family not knowing what I've been doing! Hope ur still going strong!!
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I've been on suboxone 2 and a half 8mg so that's 20mg a day for roughly 2 years. I was going to one of my areas only methadone /sub clinics and I missed a group meeting a month ago. Because of that they put me on 2 weeks of strip counts that was in a behavior contract that I over looked before signing. I really knew nothing about having to come in for 2 weeks to take a piss test and have my subs counted or I would have went, was there with no problems before that for so long. Anyway, because of that I was discharged without a taper or anything. I'm happy to be forced to be off the subs because I've been wanting to get off for the past few months, just really wish I could have been given a taper script and didn't even think it was legal for them not to give me one after 2 years. Now here's my main reason for the post: My last dose was Wednesday around 5pm, around Thursday night I started feeling really bad, after trying to find subs to buy to do my own taper with no luck I got a bundle of dope. My plan was to just snort this for 2-3 days, not long enough to be tied back down to the dragon but long enough to hopefully get over most of the sub withdraw.. I know everyone is thinking this is crazy to just jump back to dope but trust me I really don't want to be an addict anymore, and I'm just snorting it as to not bring back the feeling using a needle gives. My question is, should I be ok after 3 days of heroin? Should that have taken care of most of the suboxone withdraw? It's Saturday night now, I still have half a bag left I'm saving for the morning incase I feel like sh*t. I'm really hoping tomorrow I might just be a little sluggish and a few other minimum symptoms. I really want to be done with all this. Suboxone detox is the worst, I'm more in fear then anything but also pretty damn excited to get on with the next chapter of my life. Thanks guys.
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Hi guys
I hope everyone is hanging in okay. Congratulations on getting past four weeks Michelle. You've gotta be pretty proud. I've said it before but it just amazes me to be 7 weeks clear of the subs when a couple of months ago I couldn't make it 24 hours without one. I know your in the same boat Michelle but right now everything in my life is going to sh:t and all I have to cling onto is my clean time and the great thing is nobody can take that away from me. With the perspective of time and a clear head I am beginning to remember that I wasn't always f$$cked up and I did alot if things to be proud of. I'm just so angry at myself and the slavery of addiction my new thinking is "fu## you alcohol, fu## you opiates fu## you suboxone, I'm not going to be a slave to anything anymore."

I think it's crazy that you could be discharged from 20 mg a day. I know the pain and fear makes it seem like bridging the gap with dope seem like a good idea but you may want to consider checking in somewhere. We can get off the subs and we can do things to make it better but 2 1/2 strips per day is a pretty high jump. Please consider going to emergency room if you think your going to have a seizure. That being said I think the intense part of the withdrawal lasts about 8 days. Physical activity, eating well and an over the counter sleep aid helped me a lot in the early days. I totally get the logic of going back on the dope to get off the subs but you can't forget how cunning and deceitful our disease is. Maybe we think we can just use dope to get off the subs but we didn't get to be addicts because of our awesome ability for self control.

If using is going to be how you kick subs (and again I totally understand the fear of the pain) maybe you can make a deal with yourself that when you use you have to make it to an NA meeting. The program advises against using and going to meetings but just about everyone I know with significant clean time came into the program still using. It seems to be that you can fight the addiction better once you begin to get the support and love of the fellowship.

I hope you are doing okay but I hope you will get to an emergency room if the withdrawal gets too much. I jumped from 4mg and everyone told me it was to much. I think it was nuts for them to turn you out at 20 mg.

Day 52 and if that's all I have in the world then that's ok because I will not be a slave anymore.

Good luck and God Bless, prayers are wih you.
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Glad ur still going strong Pat :) Good stuff!! To be honest I ended up using H with my sons dad a week ago & it never made me feel any better!!! 1 I'm mega annoyed with myself & 2 It just made me itchy as anything THEN the nxt morning I felt like c**p & safe 2 say just keeping away from it & him!! It's not worth it!! I don't know if u smoke Pat Like cigs or tobacco??? But since being 4wks off the subs when I take a draw of a cig I feel like I'm going 2 sick Strange!!! Xxx
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Going 2 "be" sick I meant 2 write x
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