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I am considering hire a maid or nurse to look after my parents. I am working all the time and my sister lives far. Perhaps even better choice would be to place them in home but some how I think they won’t agree with this idea. So, my question would be: elderly parents-to place them in a home or not?

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In my opinion, it should be your parents' choice whether they would want to go to the old people home or not. I’ve seen old folks who actually enjoy themselves at the home and they are not complaining as long as their children visit them once in a while. It seems to me like a good place for them because they would be able to socialize with people of their own age and there are people whoa re paid to take care of them. However, there are cases of heartless children who just dump their parents at the home and do not bother going there to visit them.
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It has been 2 years since you posted your original question. I hope everything is going well but I just felt compelled to share my thoughts. I agree with Kesner that your parents need to make this choice. Good communication with your parents is very important. Think about and then ask them: What do you value about living at home? At what point do they feel they will no longer be able to live there? If there are injuries or recurrent health problems, what do we need to do to decrease these problems? My 93 year old grandmother went to the nursing home temporarily but everytime I saw her she told me she wanted to go home, I supported her on this and she went home with supports that she agreed upon and that would reduce her risks. She made it a month, her conditon declined and she returned to the nursing home. She is okay with staying there now, but she needed that chance to prove to herself that it was time to live at the nursing home, but she would have never known unless she had tried. No matter how old or debilitated a person is, they should be directing their lives. This is a basic human right. The right to choice and decisions. Even if a person is falling in their home, as long as they know the risks involved, they still have a right to stay there and take the risks. I think about a person that smokes, it is no mystery that it is not good for you, they know the risks but they have the right to make the choice about quitting or continueing. All you can do it educate and suppport them. I also suggest that you keep communication open with your distance family member, just because they are far away they still can help you figure things out, you have to talk, don't wait for things to get so rough that you feel all alone. Together, be advocates for your parents and for what they value in life. Don't let anyone else (like doctors) tell you what is best for them, let your parents direct their lives... they have that right and if they make the choices they will not be resentful to family "for putting them in the home" but instead will be appreciative of the support you provided them and be accepting of the decision that THEY made. Hope this helps you and/or others. Our parents allowed us to make choices when we were growing up..who we married, our careers and hobbies, let's give them dignity and the same respect they gave us to choice in our lives.
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