they have been together for 7yrs but over the last 3,4 yrs things have got really bad.he lives with them but shuldnt.hes always smoking this sh*t and never supports the family unit.my doughter has told him to leav but he never dos.shes scared, dosnt no wat to do .the safty of the kids is in concern.plus many other issues.
wat can she do
Holly- take absolutely NO notice of what thecuntanihillator has said. He/she has meshed the names of two STD's together (and stuck 'Hyper' at the beginning) and badly spelled the name of an anxiety disorder where people pull out their hairs! The 'disease' Hypergonorrsyphillitic Tirchomaniasymidia doesn't exist!
From someone who knows what they're talking about (and NOT trying to f*** with your mind, because I have too much time on my hands!)- there ARE risks in your grandchildren's household, but it's not from the weed. There are obviously bigger issues in the household- why is your daughter's boyfriend not supposed to live there? Has he been a danger to her or the children before?
The problem is the partner- not what he's smoking- and your daughter is hardly helping the matter, is she? Why doesn't she report him to the police? Is weed illegal where you are? If so, call the police and tell them when you know he's just bought a bag. THEN contact a solictor (or lawyer, as they're called in the US) and ask for an injunction order.
We can't change other people's behaviour in life- we can only change our own and if your daughter is a good mother and determined to bring her kids up in a good environment, then she has to grow a pair of b*lls and act on this herself. There are lots of things she can do- change the locks, organise a gathering of male friends to 'talk' to him, move, phone the Jeremy Kyle show....
But I'd be cautious if I were you. Are you absolutely sure your daughter is telling you the truth about this situation? She may be playing the 'Poor Me' card to her mother, but be encouraging him to stick around at the same time.
Your daughter is old enough to be a mother, so then she is old enough to sort out her own love-life and do the right things for her kids.
The biggest health risks to your grandchildren is the tobacco smoke they may be inhaling, if he is smoking blunts. The only scientific evidence regarding a child's health relates to pot smoking while a child is in the womb; second hand cannabis smoking has no more or less risks than second-hand tobacco smoking. Don't get me wrong though- these are serious side-effects in themselves. If he's smoking the weed with tobacco, he's exposing your grandchildren to an array of toxins that can cause asthma and respitory problems.
Otherwise the biggest risks are from his behaviour; if he gets angry and irritated if he doesn't get his smoke and his behaviour while he is on it. If he 'mongs', then there is the lack of attention to his children and the risk that they may get in to dangerous situations while he's not focused on them. There is also evidence to suggest that parents under the influence of weed may wait too long to get a sick child treated in an emergency.
To conclude, the biggest risks your daughter's partner poses are from his behaviour and the tobacco he's possibly mixing with the weed. This is a situation that your daughter has to get control over and despite being a loving & supporting mother and grandmother- this is your daughter's issue and she will have to be the strong one here.
I hope it works out for the best.
You're not worthy.
Naw, I totally am, my mom said so.