Hi sweet violet.
wow that sounds like my story blue eyes and all...lol what country are you from? Are you willing to share some secrets what did u do with your man and di it work?
wow that sounds like my story blue eyes and all...lol what country are you from? Are you willing to share some secrets what did u do with your man and di it work?
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Hi there Sweet Violet
Wow this is almost the exact story as mine blue eyes and all. What country are you from? What secrets are you willing to try thst I can try with my man?
Wow this is almost the exact story as mine blue eyes and all. What country are you from? What secrets are you willing to try thst I can try with my man?
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i had the same problem...the problem is stress actually,unable 2 relax...poor meditaion during intercourse..if u are at the point alwayz focus and know that u had 2 to focus and take every thing out of ur head..no phone calls and very urgent appointments!..this helped me and i am normal.....
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Hi everybody,
I think I can provide a few answers here; I've had a number of issues related to physiology, habit, and health, all of which have led to this same problem from different angles, and all of which I've had to deal with before finally overcoming the problem.
A bit about myself, and why I think my experience can help: I've had a number of health problems, which have caused both problems with circulation, and issues with both fatigue and depression. I used to masturbate daily. And something which is actually important, my penis, when erect, is a little wider than I have been led to believe most are, though I will admit also probably a little shorter, and most importantly, my foreskin is able to cover the head of my penis even when fully erect.
Let's start with the easy stuff, the basic physical issues. If you do have a slightly wider penis, even if the length is normal, try to find an extra-large condom. The regular tightness for many men is just too much, it constricts the major veins that supply blood for the erection, and it then becomes impossible to stay hard. It should fit like a glove, but a glove that actually fits - it should look tight, but it shouldn't feel tight.
The foreskin can be an issue too. If you have a slightly longer than normal foreskin, putting on a condom gets a bit trickier, because if you don't pull the skin right back, the head won't feel any sensation, even with an ultra-thin condom. This particular issue is no problem without a condom, though, and can actually provide additional stimulation when the foreskin is able to move back on forth freely. If you have only one partner and you are sure you're both STD-free, try other forms of contraception, such as vaginal caps or rings, which require a little more planning but don't limit sensation.
Also, the foreskin can be an issue for oral sex. Make sure your partner knows that you feel more pleasure when the foreskin is pulled fully back, so that she can stimulate you to the greatest possible extent! Talking to my current partner about this made a world of difference; don't be shy about saying what feels good, what feels bad, and what you barely feel at all.
Regular masturbation does desensitize the penis, and it can take a couple of weeks of down time to 'resensitize' if you've been doing it regularly for a long time. But the bigger problem is not how often, but *how* you masturbate. If you do it gently, maybe with lube, taking plenty of time, exploring your sensitivity over the whole penis rather than just grabbing it and going at it until you cum, it will not only help keep you sensitive but can be a great experience for working out the exact points and techniques that turn you on, which you can then share with your partner(s).
I personally now make sure than when I masturbate - which I still do regularly, but mostly because I only see my partner on weekends - I set aside enough time to do it gently, which can take quite a while, particularly compared to the 5 minutes it takes to just rub one off. But even then, I never do it in the day or two before I expect to have sex.
My health has also been an issue. A combination of poor diet, a lack of exercise (particularly cardio) and also just genetics have meant that I have generally poor circulation, and I've had low self-esteem, bottoming out in full-on depression, and some issues with muscle atrophy due to lack of movement during periods of fatigue. I'm sure it barely needs saying, but dealing with the diet and the exercise makes a hell of a difference. Find a healthy diet that works for you - I personally feel that one diet doesn't work for everyone - go for a daily run or bike ride, and you'll see a marked improvement in sexual performance.
But cardio is not the only exercise worth doing, particularly if you don't tend to be a very physical person. I found that improving muscle tone in the rest of my body also helped me 'keep it up'. I'm no expert, but I would theorize that because my muscles were becoming more *efficient* they no longer needed as much blood keep up all the other movement that goes on during sex going, saving more for the 'love muscle'!
Genetic low circulation is harder to deal with, though it's a very common condition - if you're generally fit and healthy and find that your fingers and toes are often cold, you probably have this problem. A few tips that have worked for me: make sure the room you're having sex in is nice and warm, so your body doesn't have to divert blood to keep *you* warm! Certain nuts, almonds in particular, help keep circulation up. And having a partner who is willing to do a bit of extra work with hands and mouth when things aren't going quite as planned certainly helps, too!
One last thing, and this is something I realized quite recently. Be aware of what turns you on *other than physical sensation*! For many of us, touch isn't enough, we also need to be able to see to be aroused. It might be enough to say you're a 'lights on' kind of guy, or maybe you have specific turn-ons: her breasts, her ass, her eyes (keeping eye contact is important for some), or maybe you need to be able to see what's actually going on down there. This might mean experimenting with positions a little, and seeing what gets the blood pumping.
Or maybe you need her to say things, tell you how good it feels, boss you around a bit, or scream with pleasure! Because the physical sensation is more obvious with hands, we often ignore the other things required to be turned on when we get to sex. Have a think about these. If you have a regular partner, talk to her about it. If not, hopefully you can find someone who will at least let you try some things out. If you're not quite sure what turns you on during sex, instead of panicking and feeling let down when the little guy's 'let down', use it as a chance to experiment!
I hope that helps all of those still struggling with this frustrating problem. Some of these issues can take a little time to deal with, but they can all definitely be overcome. Don't despair!
And good luck!
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One additional thought to add to my previous post.
Nerves can, of course, be a big issue, especially if it's happened a bunch of times and your confidence just feels shattered. If you just feel incredibly nervous before insertion, and you think that's what's causing your erection to disappear, let me suggest the following. Take a break from trying. Do some relaxation exercises, like meditation or yoga. Use this time to make sure all the other things (that I've mostly covered in my post above) are in order. Make sure you have some basic exercises to keep you relaxed - particularly breathing exercises, which you can engage in discretely before intercourse.
If you have a regular partner, or if you are with someone you at least feel comfortable enough with and expect to see again, try being intimate, getting naked, going through foreplay, maybe even having oral sex (make sure to give as well as you get, fellas), with no pretense that there will be penetration. Do this a few times if you can. It'll help you just feel relaxed in your intimacy, and get rid of some of those butterflies knowing that you can still *have* intimacy without penetration. If you have a problem with condoms, incorporate condoms when using hands, even though there won't be penetration, just to get used to the sensation.
My expectation is, at some point when you are doing this, you'll be hard as a rock but still completely relaxed, and both of you will just say at some point, let's give it a try. Agree beforehand that if this happens and it doesn't work, you'll just go back to what you were doing. If your partner is supportive of this, and doesn't make a fuss, it won't bring down your confidence, it'll just bring you closer. And you'll probably also learn a lot a good ways to please each other without penetration in the meantime!
Hope that helps!
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i like your info please post some of your ideas! im 36 and on a c**p load of pain meds due to being hurt at work, and also having same problems as many of the people posting on here. im very attracted to my gf and we have had a great sex life until recently. ive had a few surgery's on my hand an wrist areas and like i stated have been on pain meds for the last three years. i get an erection before intercourse and satisfy her, but soon after i lose it. seems like i go numb not sure? i have been feeling like im letting her down. so please any info may help. thank you for your help.
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i like your info please post some of your ideas! im 36 and on a c**p load of pain meds due to being hurt at work, and also having same problems as many of the people posting on here. im very attracted to my gf and we have had a great sex life until recently. ive had a few surgery's on my hand an wrist areas and like i stated have been on pain meds for the last three years. i get an erection before intercourse and satisfy her, but soon after i lose it. seems like i go numb not sure? i have been feeling like im letting her down. so please any info may help. thank you for your help. if you could link it to me that would be great, ***this post is edited by moderator *** ***
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Hi violet kindly forward some of your experience to me i hope it will help me.
Thanks
Thanks
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I have the sa
E problem, idn what it is but it's embarrassing like you guys said masterbation isn't a problem and I can't keep it down when I'm with my girl but when it comes time to have sex I like her nervous and loose my errection someone please help me...
E problem, idn what it is but it's embarrassing like you guys said masterbation isn't a problem and I can't keep it down when I'm with my girl but when it comes time to have sex I like her nervous and loose my errection someone please help me...
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Hi!
I have the same problem as many of you describe here. I get hard during foreplay, but after penetration and a few thrusts, it goes limp.
I have googled around, talked to a doctor etc, and it is relatively easy to solve.
Frequent masturbation has a lot to say. If you masturbate too often, you 'tire' your penis, and make it used to the feeling of your hand. Resulting in reduced blood flow when it's introduced to something new.
A few of the tips I've been getting all over are: don't masturbate(if you have intercourse regularly), quit smoking and drinking, exercise, eat healthy(lots of pasta, bread and zinc), talk about your fantasies with your girlfriend/boyfriend, make sure you're not overmedicated with anti-depressants etc, don't exhaust yourself in the beginning, take good time during foreplay, start with positions where you're at the top such as doggystyle(if she's at the top, your blood flow will decrease fast thanks to gravity), and last, but not least, stress down! Relax, focus on having a good time and giving your girl a good time!
Hope this helped:)
-Jan
I have the same problem as many of you describe here. I get hard during foreplay, but after penetration and a few thrusts, it goes limp.
I have googled around, talked to a doctor etc, and it is relatively easy to solve.
Frequent masturbation has a lot to say. If you masturbate too often, you 'tire' your penis, and make it used to the feeling of your hand. Resulting in reduced blood flow when it's introduced to something new.
A few of the tips I've been getting all over are: don't masturbate(if you have intercourse regularly), quit smoking and drinking, exercise, eat healthy(lots of pasta, bread and zinc), talk about your fantasies with your girlfriend/boyfriend, make sure you're not overmedicated with anti-depressants etc, don't exhaust yourself in the beginning, take good time during foreplay, start with positions where you're at the top such as doggystyle(if she's at the top, your blood flow will decrease fast thanks to gravity), and last, but not least, stress down! Relax, focus on having a good time and giving your girl a good time!
Hope this helped:)
-Jan
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Woooo grow up
It's not the end of the world - so you cant scew!! big deal there are plenty other ways to enjoy sex. A woman almost never cums through penetration - thyey enjoy the build up- So should you. Mutual masterbation, kissing, and close body contact is the most imprtant thing, not shagging
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hey guys i was suffering from dis problem a year later i found a way to solve it if u r smoker stop smoking,the fact is dat ur litle monster needs smthng more try to watch movies before d course n the most imortant thng is dat u need to be as close as u can dont let her stop her ha****b ....
try dis if it wrks in ur case
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Hi,
I am 28 years old and a virgin. Why? Bcz it is prohibited in my religion to have it before marriage and also not to masturbate. So I don't masturbate or you can say once may be in years to check if my system is working. But my problem is it seems I am losing the erection I can not erect myself seeing movies or thinking about it. I am also losing morning erections which is causing panic. All it seems that it needs blood circulation and some muscle exercise, bcz as soon as I stopped exercise or my daily football games, the erection decreased, hardness stopped to last even for a minute. Solution seems to be good food and some routine exercise which builds muscle around the machine. Swimming and Running will work I think.
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I thought I was alone with this problem until I encountered this forum. I thought it was my age ( early 50's ) but reading here it seems to affect all ages. I have always tried to keep myself fit with regular exercise and I always eat healthy, don't smoke or drink either. I don't masturbate regularly either not at my age but did when I was younger. I'm fine with foreplay and getting hard but I seem to lose my erection during intercourse. It does't go completely limp but not as hard as when I start. If I've not had sex in a while then I'm fine but if I've been having sex regularly like everyday or second day then this issue happens. My sensitivity becomes low and I don't feel anything when inside her resulting in me not being able to ejaculate. I never used to have this problem when I was in my 20's or 30's and even 40's. I do regular pelvic floor exercises and I can stop my urine mid stream no problem. I take zinc, L-Arginine, Gingko Biloba and Ginseng and I've tried Viagra too but they don't seem to help this type of problem. I was hoping to find some answers here but no one seems to have an answer. %-)
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