Salutations!

         I'm an eighteen year old male, currently attending my freshman year of college. I have always had a terrible problem with writing, which I suppose the root might be anxiety, but I'd like a second opinion. An example; what brought up this need to seek out more information, is that I have a midterm exam for Psychology tomorrow, which involves a paper that was assigned yesterday. Two, actually. One on B. F. Skinner and one on Ivan Pavlov. I have been "working" on Skinner's essay for about eight hours with a short break for food, and I only have two or three sentences to show, that are so mangled that they are worthless. When I do attempt to put something down, I feel this searing, odd mental pain. Its like frustration, anxiety, and deep despair rolled into one terrible moment. It is often accompanied by self-depreciating inner voices. During my self-mandated writing time, I'll alternate from staring blankly at my collected information, obsessively collecting more information I need, or laying on my desk in an over emotional stupor. I'll often feel like screaming. I swear, it's like the keyboard (or pen) are made of magma. Most any sort of assigned writing I have done have been like this, through high school. I have always finagled through this problem by starting work often a week in advance (A single paged essay could take me two to three days, with a solid four hours a day devoted to it), or turning in garbage for a 50%, and making up the rest with my stupendous, grade A+ test-taking ability. Unfortunately, with this paper neither of those strategies will work.

         I've had it drilled into me from my parents and the public school system that my problems were that I was lazy and a terrible procrastinator. Which may be possible, but with my recent Psychology class, I've been wondering if I might have some sort of neurotic twitch when it comes to essays. I don't have the same emotional strain with other projects. I often feel socially anxious, which feels a bit similar.

 

   Anyone with thoughtful questions or ideas what may be the root of this?