sorry this is long.

i was a weed smoker for 2 years. i also self harmed before and during smoking weed. i dropped out of school and all day everyday i would sit in the same room (mostly with my boyfriend at the time) and between us would smoke around a quarter a day. after we broke up i slowly gave up the weed but developed bulimia and would only eat fruit. i lost 20kg. about a year later i got in contact with friends that i hung around with when i was with my ex and started doing more hardcore drugs including liquid G, escasy, ice and speed. i became extremly dependent on speed and it became so that i didnt feel like myself without it. i would have it just to be able to go to work in the morning.

about four months after my friends stopped supplying me with speed and i became extremly depressed. i turned to eating for comfort and gained all the weight that i have lost back. i am extremly paranoid and find it difficult to even walk out my front door. i have quit my job and have cut off any contact with my previous friends. whenever i go to a shopping centre or even get petrol my heart races and i feel like i am going to faint and that everyone is watching me. i feel nervous and start shaking. i no that this is all an erational but i cant help it. i also have trouble going to doctors because of the way i feel. would like to no if anyone at all has been though or is going though anything like this. i feel exremly alone . as not even my family understands anything that im feeling.
thank-you .