I am 22 male started daily smoking at about 17; hearing voices - more the problem projecting thoughts ( I am not crazy ) and have been sleeping for only few hours at a time. Paranoia is severe, it is very difficult to go to class, grocery shop, hard to keep up with friends.
To see I am not the only one, helps. thx.
If anyone can help with thought projections let me know. thanks.
I hope I can be some help here, and hope my experience helps you. Little background about me: I was heavy POT smoker. I used to smoke from 5 am till I went to bed, and I would roll a joint every hour. It was not like few joints in a day. One day I was smoking with my friends and suddenly I started getting paranoid. I felt my friends were against me; I left the place and went to my house. I took shower with cold water, ate lemon nothing helped. It was getting worse. At one point I felt the whole world including my Mom were against me. I felt my dad was only person who was on my side and was here in this world to protect me. So I left my house and walked to my dad's office trying to hide from every people. I thought I could hear everyone mind and they were all planning to kill me.
After few hours at my dad's office with my dad I started feeling little better, better enough to convince myself it was not real and I was just getting paranoid.
After that incident, I tried to smoke again next day...it happened again...I tried again and I had same paranoia...the paranoia was triggering if I smoked cigarette, drank coffee or caffeinated tea. So anything with caffeine or nicotine or alcohol was triggering paranoia. I quit everything. I stopped seeing my friends. One day all my friends were in my house and I was hiding in a room and had told my parents to tell them I was not home. I was in really bad shape. I stopped going out in crowed lived inside my house always made sure all the windows and doors were locked. It kept on going and I was not getting any better. So I said Fk this I will start going out otherwise I will lose my mind. I had to face the world and had to prove to myself it was not real (no one was against me). So I started going out. Out in crowd, out with my friends, It was hard, the paranoia would trigger but I would calm myself down by drinking chilled water (not coke, sprite things with sugar would trigger my paranoia so I only drank water) and keeping my head away from thinking. After a while I was on my normal routine. The paranoia lasted for years but very little. It would try to trigger if I hear people speaking different language etc. But I would manage to control myself. I started smoking cigarette, started drinking and smoked pot few times with no side effect. It took about 2 years to get over that paranoia. Now it has been 12 years since that incident happened. Today I was thinking about that incident and thought it was funny and thought to check if anyone had experienced this and found this. So just wanted to help. I know how it feels so just wanted to share my experience.
If your case is bad like mine, I suggest you do not take anything that increases your heart beat (coffee, tea, sugar etc or any drugs, alcohol). If you hear the voices or feel you can project people thoughts just ignore those and keep telling your head it is not real and ignore those. If paranoia kicks and you start thinking stop it. More you follow the thoughts the deeper you will end up so right when this paranoia starts divert your mind to something else to keep that away. Keep yourself busy taking to friends, reading book and away from thinking. This will help and eventually it will go away. After you start feeling better, start drinking coffee in small amount, if you smoke cigarette go very low. Few drags only at a time. Keep away from weed or any drugs for at least few years (sorry but this is most) and I am pretty sure after this experience you don’t feel like using it anymore. Or in my case scared enough to forget the good experience I could feel using drugs.
I want to clarify that Alcohol does kill brain cells, weed doesnÂ´t, weed is natural, alcohol isnÂ´t.
You see, the weedÂ´s active ingredient is THC (Tetra-Hydro-Cannabinol) (google it), and our bodyÂ´s nervous system has "THC receptors", these receptor go back in evolution since flies, yes people, flies can get high... these are facts friends.
The "THC receptors" in our nervous system only known function is to activate when they are exposed to this THC molecule.
When the "THC receptors" come in contact with the THC molecule, the heart beat increases, so is your blood pressure, the brain gets more Oxygen because of this, causing the lethargic behaviour (not killing brain cells like alcohol).
The blood red eyes are just an effect of the high blood pressure in your system.
We normally associate the rapid heart beat with fear, so some people experiment paranoia or fear as an effect of Cannabis, but not everyone feels this. For example, I know it increases heart rate, so I donÂ´t panic because of it, I just enjoy it while it lasts.
Marihuana effects are just temporary, the brain gets its 100%% functionality in aproximately 72 hours after the last spliff (this is the case in heavy cannabis smoking).
some immediate physical effects of marijuana include a faster heartbeat and pulse rate, bloodshot eyes, and a dry mouth and throat. No scientific evidence indicates that marijuana improves hearing, eyesight, and skin sensitivity. Studies of marijuana's mental effects show that the drug can impair or reduce short-term memory, alter sense of time, and reduce ability to do things which require concentration, swift reactions, and coordination, such as driving a car or operating machinery.
Are there any other adverse reactions to marijuana?
A common bad reaction to marijuana is the "acute panic anxiety reaction." People describe this reaction as an extreme fear of "losing control," which causes panic. The symptoms usually disappear in a few hours.
You can avoid future panic attacks by following a couple of guidelines. One, stick to smoking with close friends in a place that you are familiar and comfortable with. Turn the lights down a little bit, put some music on at a low level, maybe light a couple candles or some incense. When you do smoke, stick to what you know. You do not need to smoke out of a gravity bong or a five-gram blunt. You do not need to hold your hits in for as long as you can either. Also, next time you smoke just take one hit and nothing more. Wait for fifteen minutes and if you are not high, take another one. Eating a solid meal at least thirty minutes before smoking can also help. Moreover, if you are really new to smoking, stay away from other substances while you are smoking, such as alcohol. This will only increase your chances of you experiencing a panic attack. Meditation can drastically reduce your chances of having a panic attack, try doing it a couple times a week.
It eventually went away after a few weeks but never fully, i was still slightly paranoid and depressed and tried many different prescription medications including one called xyprexa this made me even worse a caused severe panic attacks to the point where i couldnt calm down for the whole day and had no idea what to do for about 9 months after this i was still getting quite severe symptoms, but finally got over these aswell, still smoking weed the whole time.... how dumb i was...
someone had a go at me in kmart about 6 months ago for swearing and this triggered me off again, panic attacks for weeks afterwards and i was still smoking weed....to feel better... sigh... im an id**t... and i still didnt realise here it was all connected as there was an event that triggered me off every time and i thought it was helping me...
The worst comes just over a month ago and continuing until now i had a fallout with a mate and lost him as a friend, no need to go further into details apart from they lived with us and owed us money for the time they stayed, had another mate move in, didnt get sever panic attacks but was slightly depressed and constantly in my thoughts, i felt bad having to kick a mate out and questioned if i had done the right thing when it had to happen so it was my thoughts bothering me mostly.... all i need to say at this point is ...puff puff... god im stupid
then less than a week ago my fiance and mother went to their new residence to ask for the money they owed us, i wish i was there, my fiance got knocked to the floor and kicked by them YES a guy was involved, piece of trash, and my mother got hit in the face and her glasses broken i wanted to go down there and beat the sh*t out of them, but i have to let the cops deal with it, or ill be the one in trouble, i just hope the justice system does its job.
This event caused a huge amount of anger, paranoia, depression and anxiety, i knew i had done the right thing kicking out trash that would do this, but had i not kicked them out it would never have happened so i felt like it was my fault it happened, not that trash like that deserves to live in any house! I felt i should have been there and felt bad i couldnt protect them and there is nothing i could do.
Thoughts after this multiplied like rabbits and i have been thinking the craziest stuff ever even now, i have felt like i have had 2 thought processes running at the same time which i can only explian as thinking about what you are thinking... its crazy, i felt like i had voices in my head, this has mostly gone now but i still get it from time to time, i began worrying about the death of my parents alot to the point i would think about it every hour of the day and have to call them at crazy times like 4am to feel better, just talking made me feel better and i didnt exactly know why but i think in the back of my mind it was just knowing they are ok.
This lead to a thought that flashed through my head like a bullet, am i just waiting for them to die, am i ever gonna stop worrying until they do...... which because i was so paranoid and my brain was trying to find the worst part of everything led me to think in my head maybe it would be better rather than later because then i can start feeling better, followed a second later by omfg did i really just think that, i love my parents and want them around as long as possible. WHY DiD I THINK THAT! then the paranoia started trying to convince me it was what i really felt and i felt so bad for this which made me know i didnt really mean it and then it went to why did i think it then again? so big freaking circle, huge panic attacks and worrying, not knowing what i really felt. oh btw ... puff puff.... god i am so dumb...
(This is where i started to actually think the weed was having an effect and starting to cut down, not thinking that quitting/cutting down can cause even more paranoia and just cutting down the way i did was even worse (just really spacing out bongs) so i was stoned sober stoned sober stoned sober soned sober and the whole time PARANOID HARDCORE, read the next paragraph and please dont read it thinking i am at risk of becoming a woman hitter or pedophile, these were crazy thought the paranoia was making me think.
This manifested itself into worrying about everything, Am I Crazy? Am I A Bad Person? What If I Am? What Could I Do Without Wanting Or Meaning to Do So? and i started to think the worst of everything, After my fiance got hurt i have been very worried about hitting her thinking Could i do that? no i know i wouldnt (in circles over and over) worried about my son thinking about what crazy and bad people do to children, could i hurt him, what drives someone to do that? what drives someone to be a pedophile? is it coz they are crazy? OMG IF I AM CRAZY DO I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT? why did i start thinking about this? if i lose it completely would anything happen that is out of my control, NO i KNOW id NEVER do ANYTHING LIKE THAT to my son or any other child people like that are just SICK BASTARDS who have something wrong with them! If i ever hurt or did anything else bad to a child i would kill myself! then the thought came...... why did you think it then? This went in circles over and over to the point were its still going through my head now (I know i wouldn't do anything, why did you think it then) over and over and ove
PAST WEEK UP UNTIL I CAME HERE AND READ THIS (aka Big mind clearing coming soon :-D) this next bit is typed erratically, as were my thoughts
What is wrong with me, why am i having these thoughts,should i end it, no i couldnt i have too many people that love me, then am i just living for them, no i love them so much and would miss seeing them too, all the thoughts in the above paragraph, do i have to worry about hurting people, do i have to worry about having knifes and sharp objects like screwdrivers around me now (this was a bad one even now when i see a knife etc. i think do i have to worry? could i hurt someone or myself?) every time i see my fiance or son worrying about hurting them comes in my mind so my fiance goes with my son to my mums or her mums house for most of the day because i hate having that thought (which should tell me id never do anything to anyone, my mind would kill itself, just thinking about hurting ANYONE makes me feel so bad how could i hurt anyone especially people so close to me, i couldnt bring myself to do it.) which should have stopped me thinking but no even more again in circles (could you do it, no you wont, could you do it no you wont) to the point i felt like yelling SHUUUUUT UPPPPPP! and ripping my hair out, walking up to my fiance and mum and dad crying and asking for help, i felt like i was losing my mind, my heart was racing a million miles a second and all the bad thoughts in the world were manifesting inside my head. I felt like i was going to explode which made me smoke even more weed.... to calm down..... GOD DAMN I AM STUPID paniced even more and had to like down, panicing, breathing fast, and talking to my dad crying until i fell asleep. I was questioning reality, not knowing if my real thought were fake, not knowing if i was myself or being taken over by someone else, if i was completely losing it. i became a real mess
This led me thinking sleep is the only way im not gonna panic and i stayed in bed all day, almost every day to the point i was up for 4 hours and sleeping for the rest, finding it near impossible just to get out of bed, like i was in a steel cage. I was the paranoias prisoner. The last 2 days i have been finally able to drag myself out of bed and do something for most of the day, this made me feel good, but the stupid thoughts were still there.. puff puff... dear god do i have to call myself stupid again?... ok... im a freaking id**t!
Until i came here, read this, and found out there alot of people out there like me going through similar things i am. These thoughts are not real, I AM in control, This Is me and I Will Get Through This, b****r the weed no more i am quitting NOW, withing a couple of weeks i will be myself. Comeone everyone who is suffering say it with me! Thankyou everyone here i know now i am not crazy just an extremely paranoid stoner who is giving up right now and never looking back. Thankyou so much i feel human again. :-D i even went in and woke my fiance up to tell her don't worry i am never going to hurt you or my son or anyone else, i know exactly what is wrong with me and i am going to get over this. Thankyou and sorry to Mum, Dad and My Fiance. YOU guys were right and it IS the WEED that is doing this to me. I was wrong and an id**t.
me and my partner have been smoking cannibis for the last 10 yrs and 2 wks age we gave it up, but the problem is my partner he is severly paranoid he never was wen we were smoking cannibis just now since we have given it up.
he thinks people are following him talking about him and he is even convinced our fone is tapped.
i have smoke it as long as he has and i fill fine.....i thought paranoyia was a side affect of smoking it not giving it up
i really need some advise will the parnoyia stop does he need help
some1 anyone please help!!!!!!
Have your partner read this form so he understands why its happening to him. He will see people's expereince and will know it will go away soon.
Remember simply, paranoia, happiness, sadness, anxiety and depression are all feelings, its just that happieness feels betta then being paranoid. Try your hardest to be happy even about the smallest things and sooner or later (it make take a while) your headspace automatically push out the negative thoughts(without you even realising) and your mind will be able to think clearly(positive) again(happiness).
I was very lucky having friends around who accepted i was paranoid and not a dickhead lol. Its hard to fight, may take months or years, sometimes it lingers.
All the best to the people who suffer from paranoia. The best medicine is to think positive.
Hey Jonathan...you know the truth...It´s not good to be locked inside a room like i live and lived for years. But i can´t go out. I´m 26 losing my life seeing everybody living their lives and i´m here fighting against an addiction to a drug that many people think that is harmless and that is no marijuana withdrawal symptoms. I smoke 15% of what i was smoking 3 years ago but i don´t know, i grew up smoking all the time at home alone, always the best stuff, high grade. My father thought that this kind of life was ok and i smoked a lot thinking that cannabis was always ok. I could do everything that i want, drink, cigarettes and the buds when i was 15. Anytime i want.
Now i´m still fighting to get a life but i really think that i´ve gone to far. I don´t know if i will have a life.
Hey tigerman, My problems were never centrered upon my position in life and worrying about the future. it was mainly my thoughts that ate at me. Its never to late in life to make a decision that YOU believe is for the better. Remember that the only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves. If your depressed about your addiction to marijuana then i suggest reevaluating your goals in life and try to see yourself in a different perspective. And about you stating you wanna get a life, u already have a life you just gotta do something about it. Make the first step, its the hardest then it gets easier.
All the best Tigerman.
Tigerman, I'm feeling very much like you at the moment.
I've been giving up the Mary Jane for years and feel like I've been smoking her most of my life...well, I have! I'm 35- nearly 36- and have been smoking her since I was 11. It's the past 9 years I've been smoking everyday. I've had breaks, but always end up back in my regular pattern within days or weeks (longest break was 5 months- that was over 5 years ago).
I get hugely paranoid too when I'm coming off, but I don't hear voices. It's more of a depressed paranoia, i.e; no one likes me, they're all slagging me off behind my back, I've angered someone and they're not telling me, people are annoying to spite me, etc, etc. I get flashes of red hot anger too, although I've never been physically violent to anyone as I end up crying with frustration, rather than physically exhibiting it. However, I have started arguments and lost friendships because of my illogical anger.
The thing is, it's okay for people to claim that you need to resolve issues from the past, rather than relying on a drug- but that's not neccessarily a reality for everyone, especially when you've done as much reasoning with the past as possible.
I've done the introspection; done the therapy and attempted withdrawal with the cognitive-behavioural, psychodynamic and humanistic approaches. I have suffered with mental health problems since I was a teenager and have been lucky enough to recieve good treatment through the NHS system (it's a long, odious wait for most people and 9/10 times, it won't work 1st time. BTW, it took 3 counsellors, 2 psychiatrists and 1 psychologist till I found the right therapist). I've also got a degree in psychology and teach it for a living. And even with my back-up of knowledge, cannabis withdrawal is fecking hard!
It's unreasonable; illogical and complete hell. I hate the first few days- everything feels boring, yet time seems to fly and nothing gets done. I feel as if I have to push myself to do simple tasks, such as make a cup of coffee. I feel angry for no reason and incidents from my past plague my mind; people that have wronged me in some way or another (my son's father usually- I hate him for what he's put my son through) constantly run through my head. I also go through the 'cut everyone off!' period of time (usually from the 2nd day through the first week)- where I think my friends are fake and someone at work has it in for me. I can get irrational and snap for no reason, and often break down in tears. I can feel suicidal and start planning my own demise. For myself, it's a depression worse than the depression I was trying to escape by smoking.
What drives me back is a combination of things; the lack of motivation, the unreasonable anger and the loneliness I start to feel.
For me, cannabis has been my best friend for years. I've had social difficulties since I was younger and intergrating with social groups is extremely hard for me. I'm not shy or quiet- on the contrary; I'm very opinionated and say what I see, and this doesn't please most people. My background as an only-child who travelled around england and went to over 13 schools made for a socially inept, dissmissively attached adult. I also have a very 'colourful' family made up of people who even the most stupid wouldn't trust with their children. My background has almost certainly been the breading ground for a screwed-up human being. Adding to the pot, the pot- and I have the makings of sociopath. Hence, marijuana being my best friend!
However, I've seriously changed as a person in recent years; I know my anger is illogical and unreasonable and despite my sensible inner scribe relaying the strategies and positive mantra's, the loudest voice in my head is reading a list of justifications for why I should smoke.
That's the hardest to beat. Sometimes, I get past the anger and I get past the lack of motivation and all of a sudden, I believe I deserve a smoke. Or I offend someone and think I was better off staying in my world with my weed. Everything is so clear and makes sense when I smoke.
I write poetry & want to share this- it's an Ode to my enemy disguised as my best friend.
I call her Mary- my favourite friend
No matter how bad sh*t gets, she’ll be there till the end
She never judges or laughs in my face
She sits hidden from the world, in her special place
And when others frustrate me to distraction
I can depend on her to take action
Her influence leaving me with a settled feeling
And giving me motivation to achieve what I believe in
I call her Mary- my favourite confident
She’ll never moan about her day or bother me with her wants
She’s quiet and listens to me when my day’s gone wrong
She’ll provide me with entertainment all the night long
While her smell is strong- it’s magic to my nose
And there’s a rumour going around that encourages psycho’s
But to me, she’s the best and she has my love
Mother Nature’s daughter and an angel from above
I call her Mary- my favourite addiction
Where ever she goes, she displays a contradiction
She’s peaceful and earthy, and can make you feel at ease
But she’s caged by speculation and government policies
Yet that doesn’t stop her and she a girl about town
Spreading her love and helping the cokeheads come down
To me, she’s an inspiration and medication for my chaotic mind
Mary, Mary, Mary- you’re one of a kind!
Despite the poetry, I want to add- I really, absolutely DO want to get rid of this dependency. Thus, I'm trying a different approach. I'm bagging the therapies and psychological approaches- I've done more introspection and coming to terms with the past than is healthy for one mind- and I'm going to start looking at this as a physical addiction. The more and more I read about the mind in terms of a function, rather than an emotional hubcap- the easier it seems to control. I was educated under a fantastic cognitive neuropsychologist and he was adamant that thoughts, attention and emotions could be largely controlled by what we do with our bodies. Additionnally, we are simply evolved animals and becoming familiar with our basic needs, rather than our conditioned wants, is a much healthier way to live.
I've started changing my life in little ways. My lifestyle itself needed modifying before I could consider coming off of the dope. I cut-off Facebook- I found this was a source for unnessesary anger towards issues that had nothing to do with me. I have started scheduling time to express myself and look at how I'm feeling objectively- I write down things I've eaten/drunk that can cause mood changes, times of the month, amount of exercise and strangely enough (but with good reasons that I won't elaborate on now), the mood phase. And I've started taking time to relax my brain- I've cut down time on the t.v and read a book instead or go and look at the stars (I have a telescope now! *Grin* This activity dispels loneliness for me- the concept that I am actually a part of something bigger than my emotions is euphoric, even after hours of not smoking a spliff!).
I've also stocked up on St Johns Wart and oily fish- both are proven to contain healthy chemicals that increase good mood and balance.
The next step- finish the bifta and never, ever, EVER touch it again.
Easier typed than done- unfortunately!