Fluctuating mental state, often unable to be myself or speak clearly

Iam also suffering from the problem mentioned in the first few posts. I feel too self conscious and 'stuck inside my own head' when talking with others. Iam also sure that others with whom I communicate must be feeling strange about me due to this. I have problems in making decisions even for simple matters and I keep on thinking for a solution! I dont keep in contact with any of my old friends as I feel that I have to force myself to talk with them and not speak naturally. I feel that Iam not able to fully enjoy my life as the "feeling low" problem comes to me even in the most happy moments that I may be experiencing like a visit to the amusement park or a holiday with family.  

Ahhh I'm so glad I found this, I've been having this feeling for years and never been able to express it in words exactly because of the symptoms mentioned! I'm only 17 but as a small kid I've always been easily distracted, delving into my own mind and finding it difficult to express myself to a certain extent. I can do all the simple things and can be very confident at times; talking to new people comes with ease to me but I can never express myself for a long period of time. For example: if you were to ask me a political question and how I feel about something, i'd find it very hard to sustain a long coherence response. Same goes for story-telling: I find it difficult to recount a whole story in my mind and then tell it coherently outloud, it takes a lot of thought and people lose attention rapdily, it's extremely fustrating. The people I know who are the most easy-going and my bestfriends I can talk easily to, although sometimes run out of things to say and can't explain things well, but add another person into the equation to make it a group of friends and that easiness of speech goes away. I also have the problem many people have mentionned where I have many ups and downs without use of caffeine or anything else; one day i'll be on top of everything and fully motivated, whilst on the same day i could be feeling super depressed, it's like a constant battle in my mind to overcome each and everyday. I overthink a lot and always have and I feel like this is a main reason for everything I've explained but I'd love for this feeling to go away someday. I feel like my potential is greatly reduced to this 'supposed' condition and it does make it hard for me at times to concentrate on work or the other.

A few phrases which have helped me in the most difficult of times:

Don't give a f**k
Take a Leap of Faith
It's not you, it's everyone else
Learning in Suffering
Let the die be cast
Ever to Excel

I really feel it would be great to somehow make a proper forum to this and so we can talk to each other casually and discuss our problems and support one another as a single thread can be restrictive. If someone replies to this post and wishes to maybe speak and discuss how we feel then hopefully we can arrange a way of contacting each other (if that doesn't break any forum rules)

similar problems docs said bipolar and social anxiety,plz see a psychiatrist,also have hormon levels checked,other post sounds like adhd

I also have very very similar problems, but along that I experience a lot of difficulty in being able to either construct or comprehend sentences with complex structures.
I am about to graduate for my engineering degree, and while studying i am never able to concentrate, in a sense that it takes a lot of time and often visual/graphical aid in order to grasp the ideas, and when I move on, often the previous ideas I had already grasped fade away and I have to go over it once again. This has put me in a lot of depression as far as my academics are concerned. But i still manage to get, though not the best but, good grades through extra hard word, or stronger basic knowledge, I gained at my middle and high school.
I have also felt that I almost all the time tend to go with my instincts rather than my thoughts, because thinking and then making decisions causes a lot of discomfort.
While speaking I need to think for sometime while connecting one word from the other. Once during a presentation, I totally lost track of what I was speaking and paused for around 10 seconds, before I could track back. So, I always tend to learn by heart whenever I have to speak in front of an audience, and of course with that I am never ever confident. It makes me feel like my brain works really slower than others and I will always remain at a disadvantage. While asking a question from the instructor during a lecture, I need to pre-phrase the whole sentence in my head, keep repeating it again and again until I get a chance to ask the question, because otherwise I forget what I want to ask.
I feel comfortable talking to the people who are less social, or talk less or do not get easily bored. While talking to the people who speak a lot, or are very social, like most of the girls, is so much pain (that is one of the reasons of me having no girl friend) and I try to avoid such people, unless they are my old or very close friends. But nevertheless, I dont have a problem speaking one or two short sentences to the strangers. But I can never initiate or carry on a long conversation with anyone.
When I want to express myself regarding an issue, I am able to speak or write/type, although with some degree of discomfort, but when I am asked by someone else to give my opinion regarding an issue, I am really stuck, it's so much pain to write/type or even speak about it, for example writing an essay for a course or an exam preparation, although in such situations I find 'typing' the least uncomfortable means.
Sometimes, people really get impressed by my sense of humor expressed in a short response to certain situations, but it all comes from my instincts rather than I deliberating about it. This makes me feel somewhat better sometimes.
I always find it really really hard to respond effectively to the new problems I face in my everyday life, but once I invest some time in it, figuring out the solution, I get reasonably comfortable with encountering the same problem in future, provided I don't forget the solution I figured out earlier.
I am really depressed with all these happenings in my life, and need a solution to it, or at least someone, having the similar problem, to discuss with.

Hey, UBS hope your coping ok. Received an email saying someone wrote on the topic and I really relate to a lotta the sh*t you mention. Only difference for me is that when I talk to somebody who I have no conncetion to what so ever, what I say is purely instinctual. But when I get to know people and form friendships, or ask lecturers questions as you say, I always think to myself what I'm going to say. It's a very bad habit, and is not easily overcomed. I have managed to get over it for some durations, but it does come back to haunt me frequently. If you wanna talk, simply reply on this thread till we get 5 posts each, then we can private message each other if you're up for discussing our concerns. It's nice to know you're not alone. Best wishes

Really nice to read back from your side.
Have you ever talked to a counsellor/psychiatrist/psychologist or any person having similar experiences, about your problem. If yes, then what had been their response?
I haven't yet talked to anyone about my problem, as I have recently discovered that it's getting worse for me everyday, and I need to find a solution for it.

Well everything you wrote in your previous post I have been through in one form or another. It started to affect me severly almost all of last year, it's only the past few months which I've been feeling a lot better about due to Personal growth and approach. I haven't talked to anyone with the same problem, but I applied for counciling around november 2011 and only just started. I've had 4 sessions and I'd reccomend it if your willing to wait for a while. I just talk with her about what's been on my mind, and how it's been affecting me. As well as tactics for Personal improvement. Seeing as I've been in your shoes, and wouldn't be surprised if I fell back into that zone that you are in now, I have some advice that you may find useful. Try to keep an open mind about everything, you may think how your brain works is permanent, but I promise you that nothing is permanent. The key to avoiding feeling negative about what you have, is understanding that. If you see your life as a constant personal development, and that you are in control of it then all you have to do is try and tackle the problem with different approaches. I'm talking about mental approaches, not methods but changing the way you think about doing something. A good way I've started to do this is I've started taking a lot of time to think. I assume you over think a lot right? most people with these sort of issues do. If you embrace your thoughts and analyse what causing the problem, and intentionally think 'you know what, screw this, I'm better then that and can beat this'. Something along those lines, you know? It's like mentally pumping you up, fuelling off your will power to get out of your situatuon, but it really does help. Not really proof-reading and using my phone, so I'm just gonna give you a chance to respond aha. Let me know if what I'm saying actually makes sense to you, and if you find that kind of advice useful. I hope you don't think I'm chatting c**p :p as I'm just saying what helped me and may be useful to you.

All my paragraph seperations disappeared aha... Damn

I too suffer from exactly what you all have described. I keep trying to break the cycle somehow and change myself but I just haven't been able to. I remember feeling better a couple years ago when I was Excercising, but even then it did not resolve the problem completely. I am just trying to make the best of it. Hoping one day I will conquer whatever is causing this but I have my doubts.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but I was raised in an extremely conservative environment.  I was beat over the head that you are either right or wrong in life, and your very soul depends on the balance.  I have very lucid dreams and sometimes get "lost" in reality.  But I have forced myself to remember that I am like everyone else.  A human, just with special abilities that most only wish they could, and if I get frustrated I stop and remember people and try to have relationships.  I love people, including myself.  We are all special, whether you are a billionaire or less, whether you are mighty or strong, whether you "get" it or others don't.  Ubuntu.

Hi, I'm here to give advice. If any one  comes to this site and reads this well, listen up. :) I came here too looking for answers, I also have this problem. recently, I happend to find music called electronica. This music actually helps you focus, well it atleast works for me. After I listen to it my whole mind opens up, the world feels more vibrant and zombie mode mostly stops. All the depression ends and you feel like a new person.  The songs that combine two notes to make one note are the best, I believe it is called theta. you should look it up on youtube, try Lonely Dreamer by Absolute. Honestly you have nothing to lose by going onto youtube well except time. haha, best of luck to you all. 

I've had a very similar experience, my answer through 5 different doctors/ psychs etc was Bipolar 1 with rapid cycling, OCD, anxiety and social phobia (even though I'm fine in social situations, my voice and everything would change). Seeing a psych and taking a bipolar test is your best option I think!

Hi aleaht, since getting this diagnosis, has medication/treatment for bipolar improved your condition? I would be very interested to know.

Hi Poppy123,
In a lot of ways it has, I'm more in control of my moods because I know how to change my meds if things start to slip, I know my limitations and my goals better and that helps clarify things. I also can explain things to my loved ones which takes a lot of guilt and pressure away.

However some things are harder since diagnosis, knowing that what's wrong with me is not going to go away. Knowing just how serious my condition is sometimes gets a bit overwhelming, knowing how much effort will always be required of me if I plan to lead an even near to normal life.

In saying that I know it was much better getting the diagnosis than ignoring it. The uncertainty of 'what's wrong with me?' is gone, the fear of not having anything to control myself with, like meds, is gone and I have now got access to a lot of helpful services. Lithium is one of my medications and although that has some annoying side effects I'm so so grateful to be on it, things are much more clear than before.

So, I suppose I'd say my condition has improved significantly with diagnosis, even though I've had some disappointing truths to come to terms with which is sometimes quite demotivating.

Hi aleaht, thanks for your detailed reply.

Are your symptoms similar to those described in the original post on this thread? If so, are the periods when your speech and ability to express yourself are weak part of a manic or depressive cycle of bipolar?

The reason I ask is I too experience much of what the original poster describes. I have been searching for a solution for years and regularly come back here to read the posts. As of yet, you're the only one who has come up with an answer!

Really interested to hear back from u..