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Hi, my name is Courtney and i really needed to tell my story in hoping it might help me emotionally.
Anyways i am an 18 year old hispanic woman living with my fiance and his parents. we have a beautiful daughter who is eight months old and i am due to have my son in december. Needless to say he was not at all planned for. when i first found out i was pregnant i was scared and shoked thinking it wouldn't happen that fast although it did. so we tried to get an abortion which i was truly against but knew i could not support another child when i barely have the means to support my daughter. well the abortion didn't happen and then my other option would be adoption but i couldn't do that considering i was left by my mother at 6 months old with a father who was barley there and basically raised myself and by the age of 16 i was out on my own. i couldnt put my child thru the pain of not having his parents. maybe im looking too into adoption but frankly i am not strong enough.
Now the issues just keep falling ontop of me with the economy being so messed up my fiancee lost his job and were depending on my checks which is barely enough to support me and my daughter. the house that we live in could quite possibly go up for forclosure because his parents as well are having financial issues and i have to leave my job in a few weeks which i can barely work at now b/c of the pains that i have.
needless to say that when i got pregnant with my daughter i was unprepared bt now the situation seems horrible.
and to add more flames to my fire my relationship is very rocky being that my fiance a really good father is very stubborn and arogant and at times i feel he just wants to give up. which as bad as things get i could never give up my daughters life is in my hands. i would love to leave him but being this is the only place i could stay its imposible for me to go.
I use to be this girl who loved to smile and laugh. Hang out and dress nice and i had many dreams with being in many groups in school to signing college apps looking forward to college and the future. Now i feel like a failure with nothing good going for me no family other then my daughter and soon to come son. no one to talk to b/c my friends are all in high school or college and on a night like this figuring out what movie to watch or what party to go to, unlike me figuring out were to put the play pen and walker so that they won't be in the way. Don't get me wrong i am proud to be a mommy. i love my kids with all my might but im starting to feel like im losing oxygen and self confidence which once stood high is now at an all time low.

please dont reply with negativity. i am not looking to feel any worse

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You need to get yourself out of this relationship, its putting a strain of you. Its as if his holding you back.
There must be places you can go to, to get advise and to be housed especially as you have nowhere to live and children.
I think you just need time on your own, meet new friends or up with the old ones you lost contact with.
Get a babysitter, go out have girlie night out.
Learn how to enjoy life again, not just for your kids but for yourself as well.
It may seem hard to make such a big decision, but its for the best.

Hope this helps :-)
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Daniella 1987

Do not feel bad and give up hope in yourself! I was 17 when I dropped out of school, I got married at 18 to my highschool sweetheart, Had my first child (boy) when I was 20, received my GED when I was 23 and now I am 24, expecting my second child (girl) and going to college online full time through the University of Phoenix. I wanted to share this with you because I know that you can overcome anything. I thought I couldn't go to college but I am making straight A's when I diden't even graduate highschool. I know you will be able to overcome your obstacles. I am praying for you that everything that you ever wanted in your life comes true for you in the end! GOOD LUCK! Because after I graduate I am filing for a divorce and I will be the only parent to my two kids. I found out that you can't change anyone and that I should of never got married so young. Just think of your trials and tribulations as a part of your story when get older that you get to share with others.
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Daniella 1987

Do not feel bad and give up hope in yourself! I was 17 when I dropped out of school, I got married at 18 to my highschool sweetheart, Had my first child (boy) when I was 20, received my GED when I was 23 and now I am 24, expecting my second child (girl) and going to college online full time through the University of Phoenix. I wanted to share this with you because I know that you can overcome anything. I thought I couldn't go to college but I am making straight A's when I diden't even graduate highschool. I know you will be able to overcome your obstacles. I am praying for you that everything that you ever wanted in your life comes true for you in the end! GOOD LUCK! Because after I graduate I am filing for a divorce and I will be the only parent to my two kids. I found out that you can't change anyone and that I should of never got married so young. Just think of your trials and tribulations as a part of your story when get older that you get to share with others.

Camille
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