I am a software professional living in India. I am 27 now. It happens sometimes that you are not emotionally well and tend to do some mistakes. However we must not forget that we all learn from our mistakes only. The only important thing is- that once the lesson is learnt, WE MUST NEVER REPEAT THEM.
I was involved in one of the riskiest behaviour when I was away from my family and was in emotional traume. After few weeks, I had some mild fever. And since the acts were amongst the riskiest behaviour for HIV infection category, I lost my sleep. I googled it as you all must have done/do and found a lot of articles about HIV and causes/symptoms. I was terrible as everywhere it was written that once you are infected, within few months, you would develop the symptoms of rashes, mild fever etc.
It was not easy for me to collect enough courage to get the HIV test done however I decided that I would not let my sleep go away daily just coz of this fear. When you know something may be the case, its always better to get the tests done, than to live with that unknown fear and make your life hell.
One day, without even discussing the same with any one, I decided to get this HIV test done. It was really not an easy decision and I remember that whilst giving my blood sample, i was trembling with fear. However I had to chose b/w living with unknown fear of something that might not be the case and let my sleep go away daily or face the reality. I also decided and took a vow that if its negative, I would NEVER EVER indulge myself in any such stupid things and would live a normal life. And if it is positive (keeping the fingures xed), I would at least have clarity and would not pass it on to someone else. In either of the cases, I have to know first about this.
So I decided to get it done. I got the report. I was remebring god, when I opend the report and touch wood-it said HIV NEGATIVE. I can not express my feelings. it was like an end of a nightmare series for me. i paid my thank to god, and decided to not to put myself of risk again ever, coz god may forgive you once, but on the repitition, he would punish you too.
so my advice to all of you is to get the test done, without any fear. if you are negative. you would live your life happily, and if by chance, you are found positive, you at least can ensure that it is not passed onto some other person and start the treatment as early as possible coz ppl who live with HIV, having taken the extra precaution, also can live normal life like any other HIV negative person.
good luck to all and just be honest and get the test done, as i did. if you are negative, you would have good sleep and good life always, and if you are positive, you would ensure that no other lives are endangered.