Ok, I just registered on this site sheerly for this question. Well, some backstory for preface is that I've been on Methadone Maintanence at 80mgs for the past 7 years and after having finally realized that I had in total paid almost 30 friggin GRAND to the god awful place, I decided to c/t. And thats not even including the gas to get there either. I live 40 miles away from the clinic if that can offer some perspective on the severety of the outright sexual assault on my wallet and bank account. I decided to go c/t because I read that 99 percent of people who go c/t by choice, as opposed to by force from having been thrown in jail for extended periods of time, just outright FAIL at it. So given that the majority of my life has revolved around martial arts (Im an instructor), I figured that I needed to prove my own will and strength to myself again as often as petulent rash young men tend to do. I'm now on day 6 and am NECK DEEP in it. Now I know a thing or two about the brains pleasure centers, seratonine, dopamine, and the epinephrine release triggers, so when it gets to a point to where I think I am about to completely LOSE IT, I masturbate as both a dopamine trigger and a distraction from my calf muscles attempting to claw their way out from underneath my skin. My point is this, I'll pick something online as a "stimuli" and literally SECONDS after I start watching it, I begin to feel like I am going to friggin hyperventalate. I start trembling, and my heart begins going absolute APE SH** in its beating rhythm. Now granted all of this instantly ceases after I'm "finished", but all of that borderline panic-attack fuel previous to the moment of climax, no joke intended here, sucks the fun and enjoyment out of it. I literally have to close my eyes, take off my headphones, and take continuous deep breaths in and slowly out. I also stretch like crazy as if I have just woken up from seasonal hibernation having caused my muscles to borderline atrophy if they arent all stretched out. I assume that it is because all of my senses going psycho-bonkers-crazy from being FORCEFULLY rebooted and from no longer being sedated as a whole. Am I correct in this assumption? Now I know that the acute precipitrated w/d that I am drowning in right now will begin to slow down in a few days, but will this "hyper-sensitivty" thing dissapate as well? I'm lucky enough to have kept myself in "fighting shape" over the years with the result of it being that the w/d hits in waves instead of being constant and I dont have to worry about any kind of nausea or diahrrea. And I actually can get a couple hours of sleep if I pound down alarmingly high doses of diphenhydramine (bendryl). But again, why is my sexual errogenous zone sending me into a borderline panic attack?
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methadone addiction of 18 years. i too have chronic pain and major back problems, i fear going off the drug for that reason and the withdrawls. I'm wondering how you are doing
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thanks
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I feel what you're saying. I've been an addict most of my life and I'm 46. I've been on Suboxone for over 4 years now, and I've started this messed up cycle of taking a "vacation" from them and doing oxy's. The switch back to suboxone used to be easy, now it's terrifying. I've been sent into precipitated withdrawals now 3 times, and it gets worse every time. Now I'm having to wait out the sickness and suffer because I'm scared to death to get the PW'Ds again. That is something I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. I have a ton of suboxone and can't take it. So here I am sick and crying and can't do anything but wait it out. I feel so stupid for doing this to myself. But, we're addicts. It's what we do. I wonder if it will ever end.
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I know this post is coming car too late. Bc I just came across it. I just wanted to ask how your prices went getting off 150mg of oxy. And
How you are doing now.
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