HOW SUBOXONE SAVED MY LIFE.

Hi, I am a recovering opiate addict. My dealer was my Doctor. I had a major back surgery in 2004 and was prescribed perks for pain.  I used about 160 a month for 4 yrs.  When I finally admitted to myself and another that I was hooked and in trouble.  I went to a 5 day in pt detox.  They gave me 2mg suboxone every 12 hrs but I did not know. I had NO IDEA what that little orange pill, under my tongue, that taste so bad, was. When I left the detox my older brother picked me up and said to me. ( how was it ) I said, yah know, not so bad. Of course it wasnt so bad... haha I was taking suboxone. Well, a day later I am at home and BAM it hits me. I am now in full blown withdrawal. I was not even sure what the hell was going on.  I thought I was having some kind of nervous break down ( actually I was ). I got a ride from a friend to see my therapist to get some Klonapin or something to calm me down when another Dr intercepted.  He explained to me what I was going through and recommended suboxone.  I still had no clue just what it was but because I felt so bad I trusted him and filled it and took one 8mg under my tongue ( now Im starting to get it haha ) About 20 mins later I was washing my truck and running my errands and feeling good.  let me say. I am a single mom and head of house hold and was an owner of a small business. ( Hair Salon ) there was no way I could have just let the detox of the perks interfere in my life at that time.  There were too many loose ends I needed to tie up. For one, I needed to sell my business and get both myself and my daughter on SSDI (she was diagnosed w NF 1 )in 2005, thats a whole other story. But If I had not had the suboxone which allowed me to function and go through all the red tape for a lack of better word I would have prob. become homeless and put myself in a world of debt.  The suboxone gave me the chance to get all my ducks in row. To get an income coming in and set up what I needed to set up. One was to sell the salon. Another was to get us on SSDI and food stamps etc. The final was to get us into affordable housing.  I was in a high rent condo living quite well before all this happened.  I knew my back pain would be too great to allow me to work as I use to so I really needed this time to do alot I would have never been able to do without suboxone.  It also allowed me to re search and become better prepared both emotionally and spiritually for what was to come. After 2 years every thing was in its place and it was now time for me to do the necessary evil  and get off this drug. I knew it was not going to be easy because I had read all about it but I also knew I could do it because so many other did.  So I weaned myself down over 2 weeks time from 16mg to 2 mg and off I went.  It took me 9 days. It was def no walk in the park but I forced myself to shower at least every other day and I prayed ALOT and I just rode it out.  Each day got easier after the peak of hell on the 4 day.  No matter what drug we are kicking... its gonna suck. Your legs get like RLS ( I guess thats why they call it kicking it ) every thing hurts. I was curled up and felt like sh*t. But seriously.  It would have been just as bad if not worse to kick the perks.  I used the suboxone, not abused it.  It did what I needed it to do. Help me function when I needed to and get what I needed to get done. It allowed me to prepare and lay out some solid ground for my future. Now I am in my own apt. My daughter ( god love her ) is in her own apt in the same building doing well. We are both doing great.  I will say., it took over a year for my brain to start to make its own endorphins and serotonin.  Your brain will catch up. Just give it time and stay in the moment. DO NOT beat yourself down and be sure to have a higher power ( for me Jesus) surround yourself with positive people who are also in recovery . you need support like that, its crucial.  Eat healthy and take walks. Dont put pressure on yourself or compare your progress with any one. Just do what ever makes you feel good. You will have good days and bad days. Thats a normal life good and bad days. Be grateful for the good and learn from the bad. Get involved with helping others. When you are in the middle of a detox its important to just LET IT BE what it is. A temporarily sucky situation. Cry if you want and roll with it. I promise you each day will get better and you will soon be feeling good again. May the Lord bless you and keep you, His face shine upon you, be gracious to you., Look upon you kindly and give you peace. AMEN