So now it is back to trying to tapper it down.
My sympathies for your struggle, I thought tapering would be easy, it is not.
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Starting on day 4 ( after 72 hours ) The physical symptoms and the depression were gone. This is when the real battle starts. This is also when the cravings start to hit and why you should delete all contacts out of your phone. The temptation to use again starts getting strong. This is also the time one might need a support group to help you cope better with those moments.
I also have to say I'm sorta lucky. I never experienced the restless legs or the insomnia. I could sleep 18 hours a day during detox if i had the time. Even after getting physically clean, I had no problems getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night.
Feeling like your pre addict self is going to take time though. For me it took about 28 days before I felt like my real self again. You have to remember, you are going to start feeling emotions that were numbed by the pills for so long. There will be bad days even when you are clean. you have to accept that. You're simply not going to feel like superman every day. Having bad days is normal though,and normal is what we really want :)
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Immodium contains opiates, but those don't cross the blood/brain barrier,so you can't get a buzz off it. The only thing that's going to cure your dope sickness is father time. In the meantime,go get some immodium and give yourself relief from one of the symptoms. Total relief won't come until our brain chemistry straightens itself out.
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In my quest to use recreationally I adopted a once a day usage of opiates. Like you would come home from work and have two drinks, instead I came home and took a couple 10MG hydro, then upped it to 40 MG oxy with the hydro. For some reason I have found this addiction nearly impossible to break. The mental part is hardest as I crave that relaxed happy feeling and without it wallow in depression and boredom.
Using once a day for a couple years has built up a vicious addiction that leaves me with terrible withdrawls now all day until I dose in the late afternoon. Like it is 10:30 AM and my body aches like hell and my mind is under torture.
Tapering down seems harder than ever, even a slight drop is dosage brings pretty bad dope sickness. The OXY is by far the worst, when using only Hydro, I stopped half a dozen times with only a day or two of feeling bad, trying to stop OXY is like ripping your body to shreds and tearing your mind apart.
I don't know how people survive coming down from big dosage. I see that people are sick inside of hours after their last dose. I experience the same feeling now until I dose that one time a day. I tried calling treatment facilities, they want me to see doctors and get some type of evaluation then wait to get in and they don't do much for you but watch you suffer. I can do that at home.
There is no easy way out, for all the pleasure these drugs give, they claim back an equal amount of pain, that much is for sure! Tapering slowly has worked before for me, but my will power seems almost zero. I do consider that the best route now until I get it down to half what I ususally take then cold turkey it from there.
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