Basically since I became a like 13 I started going in between phases where I seriously questioned my sexuality. I've never been in a gay relationship. I've been in 3 heterosexual relationships. I haven't had my first kiss. When I'm at home thoughts go through my mind like "you're gay, accept it." "You like boys" and I don't want them, but then when I see boys, rarely do I actually feel attracted to them. And the only ones I feel attracted to are like the really obviously "good looking" ones that everyone likes. It's different with girls, it's like an instant thing, hot or nah. When I was younger I had a sexual encounter with a guy but that was nothing which I do regret, and I've recently had a big sexual encounter with a girl, which I ended up regretting. I went out with a girl, and she felt crazy and tried to kiss me and I dodged it. I felt really wierd about it, I wanted that kiss. I think it was more scared. But that too made me question my sexuality. I masturbate to naked male images now adays but I used to always do it to straight porn. It's not the guys that I find attractive it's their penis'. I have never had a crush on a guy, and the image of making out with a guy just looks wierd (no offence I have nothing against homosexual). I really don't want to be gay as I'd much rather be with a girl, but then these confused thoughts keep coming back, and they're confusing me. That's why I've stopped masturbating. Can someone please guide me. Much appreciated.
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