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Hi,

I am guessing that this is a commonly asked question when it comes to people who are suffering from depression. Basically it is because of the fact that a very big number of people suffering from depression don't really want to be helped, some of them won't even acknowledge that they have depression.

I was wondering if any of you here know how to act in this kind of situation. If a person doesn't want to be helped, what can you do? Do you keep trying until this person gives up on declining your help, or do you have another solution for this?

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Hey Gaia,

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to a loved one about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries he or she will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.

Remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. You don’t have to try to “fix” the person; you just have to be a good listener. Often, the simple act of talking to someone face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about his or her feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment.
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There’s a natural impulse to want to fix the problems of people we love, but you can’t control a loved one’s depression. You can, however, control how well you take care of yourself. It’s just as important for you to stay healthy as it is for the depressed person to get treatment, so make your own well-being a priority.

Remember the advice of airline flight attendants: put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. In other words, make sure your own health and happiness are solid before you try to help someone who is depressed. You won’t do your friend or family member any good if you collapse under the pressure of trying to help.

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It is just how you said it JediMaster, I'm afraid that I might say something wrong and just worsen their condition even though I was trying to help them. Just listening to them, that could work. But what if they don't want to talk, what if they are afraid to talk and you actually have to talk to them? Then I'll get scared again that I might say something wrong. This is hard.

I'm okay, EatingBoss, I really am. I am happy and I'm taking good care of myself, I just want to help, you know, but I don't always know how.

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Hey there. It is really hard to answer on this question because whatever you do when someone doesn't want to have help - it is useless.

Actually, I am pretty sure that you can't help them in the way that you want to help them. It is hard to speak to someone who you love, it is hard to give some good advice to help person that you love.

But you can always try showing that person that he or she is not alone and that you are always there. 

Listen to that person, try to give her or him some advice. That can help. 

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When you love someone, you will do anything to help that person. No matter whet. But when you have issue with depressed person, don't be surprised if she or he attacks you or tells you something that you don't want to hear or something that can hurt you. Trust me, that person doesn't know that is hurting you at all. He or she can only see one thing, and usually those "things" are just them. Sometimes, you need to be aware that you can't help him because usually they need someone who is an expert to help them. So don't be disappointed if you see that you can't do anything...It is not your fault.
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Hi!

I know how do you feel - you are powerless when you can't help someone that you truly love. I know what you should not do it - do not force anything about this, do not put some pressure on depressed person and of course, don't avoid that person if that person is depressed.

All that you can do is to be supportive! That is the best thing that you can do because they will notice it and I am sure that everything is going to be OK. Also, offer help but just once. As I already told you, don't force it. 

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I am one really depressed person. And I can tell you what you can do when we are depressed. Do not leave us alone, do not ignore us, do not forget that we are there. We are there all the time and we are humans who need to be loved. That is what we are. Just don't force something when you see that we are out of ourselves. That is a mistake because in that case we would like to be alone all the time, without no one around. So, try to tell us that we do have your support all the time, that we are not alone. Trust me, when my boyfriend told me this, I knew it that I want to marry him. He did know what to tell in this case.

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