I am jealous of my daughter's and my husband's relationship

anonymous wrote:

my mom isn't nice to my daddy, and i don't like her much, i'm 12 and my dad understands me and loves me and is always there for me, and i get scared during storms (childish, i know :( ) but when i do i go to daddy and cuddle with him in bed and he'll hug me and do things with me to distract me and i love him so much, and there isnt anyting he wouldnt do for me, and to him i am really special, the more my mother gets mad at us the more she just separates herself from us, and its not our fault, shes the one whos trying to be busy all the time, so really if she wouldnt be like she is we would probably be alittle bit closer, but a child only really needs one parent, her father, her mother is just more of a friend

This doe snot sound like a healthy relationship to me, you are 12 years old and should not be cuddling in bed with him at your age, you are at high school now :O

I am 26 and grew up not having the best relationship with my dad, but not really with my mom either.
Now that i am older my dad is my very best friend.
I take my son to see him for a few hours every couple of days, just to talk and hang out.
When my mom gets home she leaves as soon as she sees me there. She wont say hi or talk to me she glares slams doors throws things.
I know she doesnt like me very much but its getting worse. Today my fiance and brother in law told me that she spoke to them both.
She said i need to find my own husband and stop acting like daddys princess.. i dont understand.. I love my dad. He is the most amazing father/grandfather in the world and has such an extremely tragic past. I like to talk to him about memories and everything!
What do i do about my mom?
Its clear she wants nothing to do with me but i want to have two parents!

Why do you say "I am supposed to be close to her, to talk to her, etc." as if being close to her dad makes if impossible for her to have a good relationship with you?  Jealousy is the female gender's fatal flaw.  It's based on selfishness and poor self esteem.  I know I'm being blunt but you need to understand this.  BE THE GROWN UP here and refuse to be jealous.  Be grateful she has a great relationship with her father.  Boys and girls need both parents.  You need to figure out why her good relationship with your husband makes you feel inferior.  Yes, this is your problem.  Figure it out, improve your self esteem, and don't pass your bitchy attitude on to your daughter.

Wow, after reading all these posts I'm thinking, forget about having parents XD.  Clearly parents mess us up, and are messed up themselves.  Like all relationships, it's complicated.  You either work on it, fight for it, move on, or break it off.  It seems like most of these relationships are diagnosis of one disorder or another, but who am I to judge.  If it works, then great, if it's broke, fix it.  If you need help, then get it.  It takes two to build a relationship.  Good luck, I'm no better, got my own issues.

I recently turned eighteen, and I am an only child. I've always been a daddy's girl, but I've always been VERY close to my mom as well. Both of my parents have been so great to me, and I can't even express how grateful I am to have had them in my life supporting me and nurturing me for these eighteen years. Though their love shows no boundaries, and they would both do anything for me (as would I, for them), but the past couple years have been a little rough. My mom has been intensely jealous of my relationship with my father, and it's to the point where we have to "hide" to spend time together. I feel guilty when I laugh with my dad or joke around, or even sit in the same room with him sometimes. It makes me feel so terrible and resentful, because I love spending time with my daddy- he is so silly and hilarious. I also love spending time with my mother, but she has no job right now and we can literally spend all day together! My dad works over 60 hours each week and I cherish each moment we can be together, just giggling or watching TV or cooking pancakes! 

Also, I think we as women, give everything we have over to our marriage and children. Often times, putting our interest, wants, desires aside. This may be the time to reignite and find what sets your soul alight, whether it be through charity, taking a class in something that interest you, and building on the other relationships in your life. She will come around, just let her know your always available. It is also pertinent that you and your husband stay close and have a date night every week to two weeks.

She sounds so like my mom. she always shut me out of any family function or holiday get togethers, she would tell people she called and invited me and surprise when I didn't show up she would turn it around and say I didn't want to come or had made other plans, I have caller ID, cell phone, email etc. believe me she never ever called me to inform me of any plans. She could not stand for me to be around my dad, whom I adored. She would always backstab and put me down to him and anyone else who would listen. I learned early on to not show affection towards my dad because she would just slowly boil. Then later on she would get me back and hurt me again. I never knew when or what for she would do this to me. She never ever went to any school functions, came to my wedding or was there for my daughters birth. There were never birthday parties, no sweet sixteen etc. Any pet or doll that I truly loved would magically disappear, of course she knew nothing. She always treated my 2 older brothers like kings. She would go all out for their birthday parties, bought them new cars, paid for college and made sure they got all in will. when my father became ill, she shut me out of visitation at hospital , his hospice care and sudden death. She treated me like c**p when my dad was dying. I will never forgive her but she had 50 years to treat me as a nothing , now she is nothing to me. I went No contact with her seven years ago and nothing,,Nothing will ever make me see her again. She can die today and I will not shed a tear. I hope she rots in hell!

Don't let her push you away from your dad, I can imagine how she puts you down to him when you are not around. She does not love you and I believe you already know that. It is amazing she has not shut you out of the family in every way. She is a Covert Narcissist, Research this and it will tell you a lot. My mom would just boil when she saw any affection toward my dad. I spent 50 years being treated like c**p all because my mom was jealous of mine and my dads relationship. When he became ill and was hospitalized she treated me like c**p everytime I came visit. She shut me out of his hospice care and sudden death, then to top it off she shut me out of the funeral, I haven't spoken to her for seven years and I never will. I see now what a truly mean and hateful person she is. She done everything she could to make me not love my dad but she failed. I know for a fact that she would lie and tell my dad she had called and invited me or informed me about his health but I was too busy to come or I didn't answer my phone. Bull c**p she never called but he never knew because if I said anything against her to him she would shut me out even more. I hate her and hope God show her as much compassion as she did me. I always had to walk on eggshells with her, because she would always bring me down a peg if she thought I was the least bit happy. I hope I will see my dad in heaven and we can have a relationship without her sabatoging it.

Nope, I am no expert, but I think she has Narcassistic Personality Disorder by the sound of it - google NPD and see if it fits the bill?

I totally understand the "show home" thing --- my mom was so jealous, she took extreme measures to make sure I stayed away from my dad.

I have the same problem as you but my dad will just walk out of the room and follow her if it's just me and him in a room... He isn't alowwed to speak to me just me and him... I tried to talk to him about it and he just days I don't know what ur talking about... X

My husband and our (then) teenage daughter would always do things without including me. They would hide and do things behind my back and it was for that reason our family relationship was strained. It was not jealousy, it was feeling left out, and not important enough to be included. Time and time again, my husband would allow our daughter to verbally disrespect me, and speak harshly to me. I was the disciplinarian. He left her get away with everything. My husband made major monetary decisions, not with me, but with our teenage daughter, even after we had talked about these decisions and decided otherwise. I was not jealous, I was angry! Now the tables have turned a bit and my husband is angry of the relationship I have with our grown daughter. He is so ridiculous that he gets mad and jealous when we talk on the phone or text. So the problem was not with me being "jealous", it was with him wanting to be the only parent in her life. It was pure and clear parental alienation. Thus, after 26 years of marriage, the divorce papers are on their way and should have been many, many years time ago.

There's this thing called the yin and this knowledge of the yang... We feel the love that's mostly available. Sometimes love making creates a creation that has to experience earlier than the average student what we are actually alive to learn of... To beloved... but because

I read your short story and am really sorry for what you have gone through. I never write comments on the internet, but I feel I should respond to you. My dad was a great father to me growing up. I loved him very much. He was the one that provided a home, valued education, had unconditional love for me, was always someone I trusted and could talk to. My mom is not that at all. My dad died and she didn't care. It took me years to figure that he was murdered. To this day, I don't know who and my mom said I would never find out. She loves power and gets people to think she is great. She hurts me in every way she can. My sister Carol was murdered and my mom hated her too because it wasn't her daughter. Carols mother died from cancer in the 1950s when she was young. Then my dad met my mother, got married, had a son she was pregnant with then had me. She was always jealous of me, my success, my career etc. To this day, she is evil and blames me for all the problems in our family. She even blames me for my father's death. I grieve for my dad, Andy and my sister Carol to this day. My mother doesn't grieve because she has no feelings, no empty. Its sickening to me. People all believe her and I can't change that. She even refused to bury my dad and made me charge the entire funeral on my credit card and then demanded the funeral home take photos of my dad dead in a casket. It's sick and she has been abusive to me especially on the phone. People listen to the conversation and she pretends to be me and then calls me by other people s names. I believe in God and I pray every day and I struggle to realize that she never loved or respected me or my father or my sister. I want so much for her to love me, but it's a day that will never come. I'm now 50 years old and at times wonder if I died today what would she do because she would no longer have me to destroy and then her power and sick world would end. I have children and I feel for them. They have never had a normal life and never will. I too am physically ill. I have tumors and was given medication that causes the tumors and cancer. My mother just laughs about it. One thing I know for sure is when I do die, I'll never see her in the after world. She is too evil. Thanks for being brave enough to post your story. It's makes me fell not so alone.

My daughter is 21 and the situation at home is of a love triangle. I wouldn't have seen this on my own had it not been for a therapist I once went to. My daughter tries to be my equal in the family dynamics and gain my husband's attention and focus. It's gotten to the point where she only seeks his eye contact when discussing family plans and acts as if I'm not alive or worth an opinion. When we're at restaurants, and he'll ask what appetizer we're interested in, she'll again take charge and converse only with him and ignore me. It's a tough one to swallow as I've worked full time her entire childhood and provided whatever she's needed. My husband being the pacifist doesn't want to tell her to change her ways. I feel like an outsider in my own home.