I am jealous of my daughter's and my husband's relationship

If it makes you feel any better or at least not alone, I have a 45 year old son still living at home who has been more like my wife's #1 than I am since he was born. I've always felt like I was the extra man in the household. She feels the need to tell him all about everything that has happened here as soon as he comes in. Since he was not paying anything to live here because he couldn't afford his child support if he did I decided he could at least empty the waste baskets and shovel the steps in the winter. I end up doing it because if I mention that he has not, they will magically be emptied/shoveled when I come home and she thinks I will believe he happened to do it. If I say anything to him she will answer for him. If I say anything to her about him she always has the excuse handy. I have a dorm refrigerator for me because there is never room in the big kitchen one for my stuff. If I won the lottery I would most likely buy my own house and leave them this one.

My wife had two young children, a boy and a girl, when we married. My stepdaughter (Kim) immediately clung to me far more than she ever did to her own father. She came to me for everything. She loved to sit next to me and watch movies, run errands with me, hold hands when we're out and had to be next to me where ever we went. She is in high school now and nothing has changed. We are closer than any father and stepdaughter I've ever heard of and my wife can't stand it. Kim and I have more in common than she has with her mother. We have many similar ideas on life and very similar tastes. I think my wife always thought Kim would grow closer to her after puberty but she never did. Kim doesn't have any major problems with my wife, they just aren't close. Kim openly admits she'd rather come to me with everything before her mother. She says she just feels more comfortable with me. She talks to me about boys, her body, her self image, school, life goals, her hair, clothes, makeup and music. It's not that she wouldn't talk to her mother but she's always quick to seek me out first.

In time I hope things will change, their relationship will grow and my wife's jealousy will fade.

Perhaps even your father is at fault saying "don;t tell your mother" because that is alienating your mother from you both. Your father should act as a husband first and honor your mother. He is childish in destroying the relationship of mother-daughter and brainwashing you to resent your own mother. As a daughter, you should show more respect and look inside yourself to see if you have no faults yourself. Your own father harbored the hate between you and your mother with his own selfishness.

Maybe you are not the problem, have you ever thought about the problem being something else totally, it might be that your mom is jealous of your dads relationship with you, because she wants him to be with her like he handles you ,I am man and I am 37 now having some almost similar issues with my wife as she cannot handle me having a good relationship with my daughter which is not hers, but I know she acts like that because my relationship with her is broken. talk to your dad and remind him that your mother also needs his attention, love, caring, motivation, he might have given up on her ,but ask him to adore her and look around her issues, which should be changing for the good if their relationship returns to normal loving care type of relationship, a lot of woman are really very jealous beings, all they want is all the attention. LOL WOW

I'm a 16 year old girl and honestly? I feel like my mum is resentful towards me. I am definitely a daddy's girl and an closer to him than my mum but it wasn't always like that. When i was the youngest child we were so close and then my brothers were born and it was like I didn't exist. Now when I hug my dad she rolls her eyes and then when I go to hug her she tells me to go away and if I'm being honest, it hurts and I have no one to talk to about this because my other siblings have such a close relationship with her. This got me thinking, she has no problem showing affection to my other siblings but me, does she not like me? Please sort this issue out with your daughter, I'd hate for her to be feeling like me right now.

I don't know if anyone reads or responds back, but I just want to put my situation out there and see what comes back.. My husband and I love each other.. I know we do, and I know I'm going to sound selfish for stating this.. This past Christmas, my husband gave a better gift to our daughter than to me. It was a piece of jewelry that I've often mentioned it to him. I initially thought it was for me until he clarified it was for her. I cried a bit since I really thought my feelings were hurt. Now, you can tell me to just grow up, or tell me I'm crazy and stupid, but I'm expressing what I felt/feel like.. I'm more than sure my husband didn't do this on purpose, but how do I explain it to him without sounding like I'm nuts? Just want to know what others say about this.
Thx-

Such an honest, beautiful reply. Wonderful!!
You are spot on with your assessment. I fully agree with you.
Daughters and their dads. Unbreakable bond. It is so beautiful