The past year I have been experiencing a weird and depressing change in how I think and how my mind works. I feel like I use to have a fairly good imagination. I would daydream in class and imagine being different places like the mountains, oceans, etc. I would listen to certain songs or watch certain movies and get these genuine and intense emotions and it would take me somewhere else. Over the past year though I have noticed I don't do any of this subconsciously like I use to and I have troubles even creating pictures in my head and if I try too hard I begin to feel pressure in my brain. If I don't make myself think of certain things it becomes almost as though my mind is totally blank and on a stand still. I don't get as emotional about movies, songs, even things that happen in real life (tragedies, etc...) anymore. It has been very difficult and depressing since I love art.
Sometimes I believe it is because I've been smoking more weed than I ever have been. I started smoking practically everyday back in September of last year (2012) and have been smoking about the same every sense. I worry the marijuana is what has been causing my change in thought. But it seems strange since most believe marijuana expands your mind, not hinders it. I have gone a day or two without smoking and have felt no change so I would just toke up again like normal.
I'm looking for some sort of explantation, suggestion, comment, anything!
I am happi that you posted this topic. Not somuch for the fact that you are going through what you're going through - but because I have experienced the exact same phenomenon - EXACT.
I was always a very imaginative kid. I excelled in the arts and read a lot of books - never watched a lot of teeve - spent a lot of time outside and in my own imagination. Like, a wondrous type of life. I never touched any drugs until I was about seventeen or eighteen. At that time, a person I really loved had gotten into pills and (eventually) heroin, and so I sort of gave into the little things like marijuana and a bit of alcohol use to kind of numb that and also see what was going on in the "drug world". I also experimented some with hallucinatory things, which was definetely loads of fun - but it's gotta be in moderation.
Anyway - I am rambling on with my life story here. To keep it short, I got in a very destructive relationship with a person who smoked a lot of weed on a daily basis and also drank...among other things. I sort of just tagged along - getting eventually into a daily habit of smoking marijuana.
A lot of traumatic things happened in that relationship and I really used weed as a crutch. I have been away from this person for almost two years now - but the habit of smoking weed on a daily basis has remained. It is no longer something to numb pain somuch, just a habit.
But I experience your same symptoms - and it is so so so depressing. Loss of motivation, creation, imagination. . .all of it. When you said that ". . .it seems strange since most believe marijuana expands your mind, not hinders it" - I have had this dilemma!!!
I actually just found out that I am pregnant a few weeks ago - so I have been forced to stop smoking. A lot of marijuana smokin peeps assure me that it won't harm the baby, but I am taking this as a chance to really get off of it to see if things will change to how they used to be before. You had said you'd not smoked for two days but I don't think this will really do much in terms of how you feel because of how long you've had this habit.
Look up "Cannabis Addiction" on this website. There are numerous INCREDIBLE resources there from people who have gone through really quitting. It's a hard thing to really do -- You have to be committed and really want to stop and really work hard at it.
I haven't smoked for a few weeks, like I said - but I have these awful pregnancy symptoms (nausea, etc.) - so it's hard to tell how I feel otherwise at this point. Keep in contact with me, if you'd like - I can let you know how things change for me and maybe motivate you in my direction.
With Love :)