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So I've been smoking weed for 7 years, first casually, then everyday for 3 years now.

Yes, I've had the odd day or so (including the 52 days straight - just to prove I can) when I didn't smoke. (side effects were insomnia, loss of appetite and crazy vivid end of the world type dreams. but I was the same person and no more motivated than I was on pot) But I generally feel better if I toke atleast once a day. I prefer bongs (meaning I don't consume as much in quantity as people who like joints. 1 or 2 b's gets me off. or should I say "on". hehe)

I'm 23 now. I don't have a license. I don't have a job. I have no routine. And I have no intention of getting a 9-5. It's not my personality. I am an artist. I love nature and gardening. It is my passion. I live with my parents (rent free) but buy all my own stuff (barely making it each month) with the little bit of money I make off selling my art. I have ambition - but no plan. I've never liked planning things.

My fiance insists that I quit and believes it will change me and give me the sudden motivation to be succesfull in life. But the worlds' idea of success and mine are completely opposite. I believe being succesful is being happy, not making money, drowning in debt and working a dead end job to pay for stuff I can't afford.

Needless to say, things arn't working out with my fiance. I'm a free spirit, he's a responsible workaholic with an intense dislike for weed. (even though he's known I smoke since he met me) He belives in money - I don't.

I smoked ciggs for a year - then it took me 6 months to quit. It wasn't that hard, because I really wanted to. That's how I know, that if I really wanted to, I can smoke weed.

But I don't want to!

I want to be self reliant, motivated and happy. But I'm doing it at my own pace and on my own terms. I am bi-polar (more often depro than manic) and weed levels me out, helps me sleep (I've always had crazy dreams since I can remember - weed takes those away), it helps me eat and needless to say, it inspires me to paint.

Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to quit?


The fact that you depend upon it.


Ambition is nothing without a plan. You don't buy all of your things, your living space being a fine example. Unless you are growing it you believe in money enough to turn it into weed. I hope you stop lying to yourself.