I feel like a loser! Why did I ever let a little pill control my life!

Hope your doing ok...havent seen any updates this week...you seemed excited about the new approach so I hope it just means your out living life feeling better. Ive reached the point of using kratom only in the morning now and sometimes only every other day. I expect to have no need within a week. My sleep is still out of whack and theres occasional anxiety, but other than that I honestly feel like the worst is well over and from here on out it will be a mental game which so far I genuinely have no desire to relapse. I think about poppin a pill and im like ya know, im good, no thanks. There seems to be no need after how long it took to achieve this point. Its as if everyday I wake up and count how long its been, its seems more fitting to continue to add on days to be proud of then to add 1 day to take a step backwards. Update me when you can :-)

Well I've used the Kratom and it really does take the edge off.... unfortunately I'm just not strong willed. I've contacted a local rehab facility that has day treatment options.... Hopefully I'll hear from them soon.... I'm tired of this whole thing.... Thank for everything. I'll keep you posted.

hi this is tracy again (kratom girl) I have been searching the web over for some information so i thought id ask u since u seem ike an intelligent person...... Ive been off the pills for 3 days and had a perc today :-((( My body feels numb and my hearts racin... feel kinda like i blackout while im sittin up at computer.... whn i went to bed the past 3 nights i feel like my heart stops and i have to lean up in bed quickly, always right when i start to relax..... is it anxiety????? please please help me..... I'm really scared I'm gonna die.....

Hey sweety, dont worry, your not going to die! It sounds exactly like what I went through the first 2 weeks I quit. Im prone to anxiety but in small forms. Once I quit cold turkey and started using kratom to keep the withdrawals at bay so I could function at work my anxiety kicked up tenfold and I had my first ever panick attacks. And by panic attacks i mean full blown OH MY GOD IM GOING TO DIE sensations. 1 min i would be sitting outside relaxing having a cigaretter and without notice my heart would race, my arms felt tingly and asleep and my breathing would get all un regulated, not that my lungs were good as it is from smoking, but i definitely went through 2 severe sessions where I had to throw myself into an ice cold shower so that the freezing water would be more powerful than the attack itself. I took long deep breaths and focused on my breathing to calm the rest of my body. I was 2 seconds from waking up family and friends for a ride to the emergency room but I kept telling myself, "dude, its just a panic attack and youve nvr had one but everything is going to be fine" and sure enough after about 20 min of freaking out I was ok again. Im on day 20 now of cold turkey, still use the kratom occasionally as there are days I feel like garbage still, but the worst is far behind me and the anxiety has lessened and Ive had no more panic episodes.

So dont worry, these messed up changes and fearful feelings your body is going through is more than likely just anxiety ramping up. See, the thing with opiates is simple...while we are doing them regularly our brain is tricked into thinking our dopamine/seratonin/melatonin levels are at normal due to the euphoria of the pills...once you stop suddenly your brain see it doesnt have enough of those produced to give you a balance, and all kinds of scary but truly harmless events will take place while your body rebalances itself and your brain starts producing the chemicals again on its own. So dont worry and please dont give up. Theres a lot of info out there on vitamins and recipes for taking good things for your body to help boost the speed of the changes. I for example started taking L-theanine daily also with the kratom (that is the core chemical found in Green Tea) its amazing at helping your brain get you to a balance during the rough moments like your experiencing. Dont worry darlin...it all ends sooner than you expect...i dont even crave or think about the pills now which im thankful for, i thought the mental part would continue for years...but so far so good for me...the kratom has seriously worked well with my vitamin intake, and please, even if its just taking walks, stay active even when it sucks...the so called "runners high" pple get after working out is amazing for regulating your body and pushing chemicals through your system.

I hope some of this info helps and remeber, its predominantly anxiety, so dont let the fears define the experience :-) every single day is a certain % better than the last...this i promise you!!!!! keep me informed please, im worried about you :-)

blah! I started back but this time it was per 30's! WTF! I'm sorry Its so damn frustration being controlled by something so little! I was thinking about a time when my ex husband had his tonsils out and had gotten liquid lortab... he offered it to me and my dad both and both our responses were nah... we don't need it so why should we take it! Now I'd give anything for it! I'm so frustrated! Ive been back off them for 2 days but am feeling pretty crappy!

I am going through the same thing. I am also a mother and a full time student. I have been on oxys for the past 3 yrs and am usually the ost positive upbeat persn to be around, but when i dont have them, i am a crazy b*&^%. and i also feel like a loser junkie or somehing. i am prescribed and take them as directed but i still dont like the fact that they are starting to control my life and when i dont have them i go insane and alll i focus on is getting them... addiction is a horrible horrible disease. i am not ready to stop them bc i do need them for my physical pain, but i i do find myself taking them when i get stresssed or anything now also. they just seem to help everything...