I fell in love with much younger man

Viber is this app for free texts and calla. The voice doesn't work as his network is so bad. I asked him , so what is the name of the nearest town to you, he says the other day its so remote, today it's the Capital??? The last answer he made was Yeah that is it? 

Now, he is extemely well educated, so,he is acting silly for some reason. This is where the age gap rears its head sometimes!!!

I am glad you all are well and supporting each other. I'm off to bed now , alone and will read. a book is my only companion now.... Am I a sad case or what? Night all.

 

 

No, it'd be sad if you had 20 cats!! Lol. Good night.

I am curious about Viper too ;)

Hugs are amazing!!!!! I was sympathetic about the hurt from an old girlfriend too. It took a long long time for us to become an "us" with that always lurking in the shadows. The day she got married things changed. Kind of drastic... but boy did I hate being that sympathetic person at times because although I cared about him, it was a constant reminder that I was a supportive friend, and I would watch without crossing any lines, falling deeper and deeper attracted to him. So BigCat, I understand where you're coming from. The opportunity to meet again is wonderful. I hope you have a great time. Get your confidence on, but just be YOU. That's the person he cares about, and misses. I'm sure he does. Please let us know.

I just loved my guy into a successful and confident place and I get worried that he won't "need" me any longer. Okay seriously... I don't want a guy who "needs" me as much as I want a man who loves me. So, I am being careful, but enjoying this time as it makes me smile and feel appreciated. Something I haven't done or felt in a long time. Here's to happy days!!!!!

Well, the reality is one cannot marry or consider marriage with a man who is completely unsupportive of her when she is grieving the lost of a loved one... a man who invites a bunch of friends over during that difficult time, immature friends who don't even offer condolences because he didn't tell them.  A man who wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes the woman who has to work early the next day up with the sound of the TV (this is a 2 week old new phenomenon).  A man who initiates conversations regularly with his ex girlfriend who he was only with for 2 years who he broke up with a month before taking me on a date.  A man who tells his ex that if she speaks to an ex friend of his, to please tell the ex friend he harbors no ill will.

All of this happened yesterday.  My very very close 46 year old cousin passed away on Monday.

This ex male friend happens to be a young man who attempted to murder me.  There was a trial.  He got off.  He should be in prison.  And my man now wants to make amends.

 

So.... with a broken, broken heart, as I bawl my eyes out at my desk feeling betrayed and completely lost, I do believe my love affair is over.  He is falling apart.  Told me I'm the most important thing in his life and he wants to be with me the rest of his life and he never felt this way about any woman ever.

Great way of showing it. 

I need help.  I need to talk to my shrink.  This is unbearable.

Oh Steff, my God, you do seem upset. I'm sorry, really, I wish I could help you, could write the words that would help???

how the hell do I get my e mail to you and maybe we can chat or Facebook, anything???

 

god help you, I'm here alone reading this knowing how hard it is to try to work, sit at a desk Nd your heart is breaking!

What can I do? Just give the word, any sign that I can contact you . 

 

My positive vibes going your way-:)

One last comment for me on this board.  I have been thinking about this for a long time.

The number one obstacle older women must learn to deal with and accept is this:

Since about the 60's, I would say, young people started disregarding, even scorning, the wisdom of people older than they are.  They have no respect for said wisdom, experience and knowledge.  Offering advice is not something we should do, even if they ask.  We need to just listen, like a psychiatrist would do, repeat what they say, ask, "Well, how do you feel about this" and other such neutral communication.

Otherwise, "not being heard" will turn into a huge problem down the line.

Good luck to all of you.

I'm so so sorry.

Me too Shopgirl.... this is the time for support for Steffie. She has strength. And we will help her be even stronger.

Me, too.  He called me his soul mate several times.  I don't believe in such things, but it melted me nonetheless.

But he made a move so stupid.... I have too much self respect.  I am torn up inside, and I fear this young man has damaged me for life.  He told me he would look after me when I'm old.  All kinds of wonderful things.  Even after the stupid move, we still had sex and it was great as it always was.  But sexual healing doesn't exist, in reality, it's just a Lionel Ritchie song.

Amazing how one horrible thing can destroy everything. 

OK ladies, I need your help. To recap, my 30 yr old male lover ( I am 48) have been sexually involved since July 2012. There are issues I would rather not say why we don't date, or want to get married. We are just friends with benifits, I guess you would say.  I care about him and I know he cares about me. He did say this wasn't just fuc$ buddied. He said he was concerned about feelings and would back off then come on back.. This Jan. ( we work together and stop and chat maybe 2 or 3 times a week) he said he was having guilt issues and also felt by the way I said things and my actions that it made him back off. For example: I said do you think a lot about making love to me.. I am meaning sex with passion. he thinks I mean does he love me because I love him...  I looked on Facebook to see if there were pictures from his high school reunion. I found his senior class pic and one of him with 3 other kids. I thought he would get a kick out of seeing them but instead of that he said Who does that? You have falling in love with me.. I said no, women are just nosey and courious nothing more. Well we got into it some and I told him that I did not want to marry him or anything other that what we were doing. and I was not in love with him but did care for him. If I didn't care I would have never slept with him.. I just wanted sex and friendship. That happened at work and I just walked away from him.. If he wanted to end it for good, that would have been the perfect time. But what does he do? he texted me on the way home and said I hope I didn't make you mad.... we texted about 20mins and I thought he finally understood. So the next day at work I saw him, and asked if he felt better about what we talked about and he said he didn't know and sort of blew me off... I was pissed so I just said whatever and walked away. That afternoon on the way home, I texed him and said this: I will make your decision easy for you, You are offically "my name" free as of this day. Go back to your stress free happy life without me in it. I told you what I wanted and you choose to nitpick everything thing I do and say.  He said "ok". I said is that all you have to say? He replied, sorry but nothing much left to say, proably better off.  So that pissed me off and I said this: You must have gotten what you wanted and that is for me to be the bad one and end this. You know if your dic$ was a big as your ego you would have one heck ( didn't say heck) of a dic$ but then again you would only use it for your pleasure and not the womans..... He didn't reply.

The next day at work he looked on the computer to see if I was at work ( I know how to check when he was on there) and then got off the rest of the day. Normally he knows when he ignores me like that I will stop by and talk to him. I didn't and won't.

My question is this: Why when he could have ended it and seemed to want to end it did he send me a text that he was sorry he made me mad? Normally he doesn't not say he is sorry he made me mad. He just doesn't text for a few days.  Do you think he really isn't worried so much about me being in love with him but maybe he is struggling with being in love with me or fallig for me??  I am confused...

...nothing to be confused...you were falling for him...he didn't...and you want to be with someone that regardless of his age make you feel loved...make you feel beautiful...make you feel alive..

I agree. It's an amazing feeling.

I need to leave this group.  Does anyone know how to turn notifications off?

Update: I finally found out what was going on. What I saw on the outside was not what was on the inside. On the outside he was a 6'5" dark hair, dark eyes, georgous smile and so very soft spoken and sweet. But come to find out on the inside he is empty. I had an affair with him for 7 months. All the signs were there but I chose to ignore them trying to defend him as just being young ( he is 30 and I am 48). To make a long story short. I found out I have cancer. I told him the other day and he just listened and said he was sorry and hoped things worked out. (clue: he didn't say if there was anything he could do for me or if I just needed to talk or have someone hold me he was there for me. He said nothing like that) So I emailed him at work as said, do you want me to update you? he replied, you just did this morning. I said no I mean do you want updates? he said "sorry, gotta go" He normally does that when we text and he wants to avoid a subject. Ok maybe he was busy, so after work I text him and said it's a simple yes or no answer. He didn't reply.. The next day he was on the computer at work for about 10 minutes ( we have a communicator thing and you can chat and see how long someone is on and if they are on). He never acknowledged I was on there. How could someone be so cold and uncarring after you have slept with them and had a relationship with him for 7 months? Any way I texted him and said those things and then I said I felt sorry for him that he was so uncarring that he was missing out a lot in this world. Then I said if your d**k was as big as your ego you would have one heck of a d**k, but then again you would only use it for your pleasure and not the woman's. I just hope your next victim is smarter than I was... He didn't respond.. So I have to focus on me gettig better now and I have wonderful family and friends to help me. Just please be careful and pay ATTENTION to the warning signs!!

So sorry Suellen to hear that you have cancer, such a shock to read this. He is cold and uncaring, and unsupportive. You have to concentrate on you now. It will take all your energy . Good vibes and prayers going out to you.