I fell in love with much younger man

good to see that love is still going strong on this board. I am going on 6 months with mine,,,I had posted maybe 3 months ago. I really think we may be onto something. LOL, He loves me, he loves my young son. It's complicated, yes...but aren't lots of relationships?? I've been informed that I am stuck with him...probably forever. I did let him know that my "forever" probably won't be as long as his...and he told me, rightly so...that no one knows that for sure. Love, in whatever form it takes...as long as its not illegal or immoral,,,is worth fighting for.

You are so right. And who knows we might out last our younger men so enjoy. Good luck to you..

Not sure how old he is but my guy is 30 and does the same things. I think it's the age thing.. If something is bothering him and it might not be me, he will be quiet and not text or hardly talk to me for a couple of days. Then all is well. He said that is how he deals with things. So give him time..

That's just how men are, no, BigCat? They also make messes and don't clean up. They're generally a pain in the ass, if you ask me. I must say, I've said it before, I'm FINE alone. I actually prefer it. So I have no fear about this guy leaving me some day. I have no kids, so it would be nice to have someone around to look after me in 25 years. I have no savings, no retirement plan, I don't even have health insurance. But I've made it this far. I'm self reliant.

Thank you for that, it puts my mind at rest :)

So I've been in bed with the flu for almost two weeks. Boy does down time cause one to do a lot of thinking!!! The man I love and I haven't seen each other in a few weeks. We talk every day, several times a day, but there's just something that happens to me when we are apart for too long. I used to be the confident one. felt so smart and "together" and just high on life and in this new phase. Now I'm the complete opposite! I think I am attached for sure. I don't get the sudden change. I was married for thirty years. And sad to say, I never once "missed" my husband when he was gone (vacation, business trip, family emergency, anything....). I didn't think about him during the day. We didn't have a song. He didn't know my favorite color or anything that interested me. We were roommates and eventually housemates. Sad. However, two days after i go home from spending time with my much younger man, I am going crazy. My body craves him, I long to be in his presence, and I become someone different at the sound of his voice. What is this? Obsession???? Please, no! He is very attentive and relational. I honestly consider him the best friend I have ever had. And I have a lot of friends! I am concerned with one thing, however, and I know that many of you have faced this because of the age thing. My guy every once in a while brings up the fact that he doesn't want to be alone. Or that he wants to have a family some day. Or that my son is lucky, why can't HE find a hott successful career woman to pair up with? Then he says, just kidding. C'mon, I know he's not kidding. I know he's confused and not all the way comfortable. Those are real concerns for him. We've talked before, and have come to the conclusion that we don't want to move fast. I only asked that he be honest with me if he wants to see someone else, cuz I can't do that. I told him I would do the same. Problem is he set me up with some paperwork he needed help with... on his laptop. He had just left me and we had shared a very amazing time together. Like perfect. Two hours later, I was working on his medical stuff like requested, and up pops a tab in a chat where he was talking to a co-worker.... it must've been accessed from his phone or something. The conversation show him and this other guy passing a co-workers picture around and making comments about how hot she is, and my guy saying "yummy. Is she single?" I was floored. I shut down the computer as is, packed my bags, burst into tears. He walks in minutes later as I was getting ready to leave, and just says, "oh, your kids probably miss you, right?" I gave him a hug and got out of there as fast as possible. I cried the whole two hour drive home. He tried to talk to me, but I just made up excuses and acted busy. Things went back to normal over the holidays, and I saw him again. It was great. We both still say I love you. I just don't know what that means to him. There are so many other great things about him... but this still has me feeling really uncomfortable. I don't know if I am just the most pathetic jealous girl in the whole world, or if I'm a fool. I used to be so confident! I know that time has passed, but once in a while something about work crops up, or the thought of him wanting to look at young girls, etc. It just all grosses me out. I didn't like that in my marriage, why would I now think it's no big deal? It hurts me. I don't believe in boys will be boys. I just don't want to waste my time. One life, ya know?

I wouldn't worry about that other girl, BigCat.

Remember - ALL guys watch porn. Doesn't mean anything, NECESSARILY. They fantasize. No matter how old.

You do sound a tad obsessed, though. When I get like that, I take deep breaths and remind myself that I've been there before but most of all, men HATE that.

I don't have an 'other girl' in my situation or porn. At least I don't think I do ;)

I really do think 'boys will be boys' and they can act differently around work colleagues. He may have been asking "Is she single?" just to look like one of the guys. They can be that childish :(

<3I think the fact that we are older will always be a sore point when they look/admire younger women. No matter what, there will always be younger prettier girls out there. I never had a problem with this with my now ex husband (bless him) This last guy, it just ate me up, I acted cool, but, inside I was hurting when he admired (although he seldom did this) other girls.

Where I am now, the girl's are to die for, young and old. They spend a lot on cosmetic surgery.I did suggest at one stage that Iget Botox /fillers, which is cheap here, he nearly had a fit. No way, he siad, you are lovely the way you are, I just love you as a person,you are so clever, elegant,you don't need to put that sh*t in your face etc........I just wonder if we were to have a chance to be together permanently would he feel the same??

Steff, I think it was you that said you have no health insurance.?.....worrying! I hope you can get something sorted soon.

Irresepective of all that, I am alone, still grieving for a lost love, but , happy I experienced a year of happiness and makingsomeone very happy, he even wrote that to me today in a text. He is finding it harder than me to move on. As I always say, life can be so cruel. My sunny dispostion and faith that God has his plan for me keeps me sane. I love him, I miss him, I go home alone longing for him, this is a penance.

 

How young is he?

OOOPS... I meant shopgirl37. This site is confusing. I'm quite sure he watches porn when you're not around. They all do.

I don't know if he does or doesn't. I know that he is about to buy his first house and its nicer and bigger than anything I ever bought! I am proud of him for working so hard and making something of his life when he really had not a piece of family encouragement. It's great. but with that goes the question of who is going fill the home with laughter. It's lovely.

The porn issue is non negotiable for me btw. We all have our lines Ya know? It destroyed my marriage and damaged me, and my sons and daughters. I think have way less problem with my guy admiring young and beautiful real girls. And thinking abou his future is normal. But asking if a girl is single and wanting to be with her physically hurts me. I don't like it. It's fine if we are just friends. but we aren't. And if I did that, he'd be gone. No questions asked.

;)

shopgirl37 - yea, I wouldn't like it either, and I realize that words can hurt. No action has been taken, though. Have you thought maybe it was just "guy talk"? Like..... guys want to not come off as "p***y whipped" or "gay" to their male friends, and our society bombards men with images of female body parts, retouched and perfect. The other guy initiated it, no? The other guy was the guy with the photo and your guy was merely commenting. I'd just take it with a grain of salt. If the two of them were watching a movie with Mila Kunos in it (whatever her name is) or any cute young actress, and they were talking about how hot she is, would that bother you? All I'm trying to say is this - Please don't let something like this eat away at you. Because eventually, it will drain your confidence and he will get turned off. I'm sure the confidence that you exhibit, as an older woman, the lack of clinginess, is what attracts him to you in the first place. Imagine being with a young guy, or any guy for that matter, who has a thing for large butts or big boobs and you don't have that asset and he looks at girls on the street and comments. My guy does that - likes big butts and mine is not. Far worse, no? But it doesn't bother me, because it's ok to look, in my opinion.

lol, this forum automatically changed the word i wrote to vagina, from another word!