I fell in love with much younger man

Guest, I completely understand. I was exactly like that for the past two months. I lost weight and my heart felt like it was going to break into but you have to decided if you are going to get rid of your husband or this man. You really need to sit this young man down and clearly I mean clearly tell him what you want from him and tell him he must be completely honest with you even if he feels he may hurt you. You need to know EXACTLY where you stand with him. Then only then will your decision come to you.
These post are great because people don't know you and can relate better than family and friends sometimes.

5 months since we ended, I'm hurting, but, it's easing. Younger man, older woman, very seldom works. Stop making yourself ill, has he lost 20 lbs....... I bet not! You have to make your choice, ask him what he wants, does he want you? Forever? Best of luck;))))

Hi, thank you so much for your advice. I know this is also affecting him specially with his family. I can see that he's lost some weight (not as much as I have) but I also know that he is still immature and doesn't really dare to tell me the truth. I've asked him to be open with me but whenever the conversation goes in that direction he avoids answering any and all questions. He tells me he cares about me, that my happiness is important to him, and wants to be there for me but I know deep down, this will not end well and eventually we will not be together. on the other hand, I wish that I could make things better at home but in 23 years I that I've been married, tried everything possible to change my husband but haven't made a dent. Meanwhile I find this wonderful young man who cares about me and makes me feel like so complete but our relationship is hurting us both. I know I have to end this, I just don't know how.

thank you so much for your advice. I'm the "guest" you've been replying to. I never, in a million years would have imagined that i would be so in love with someone other than my husband. I never considered seeing anyone else, but I feel that my husband's cruel ways lead me to it and I hate him for that. If I had it to do over I would not get involved with my younger lover. Yes, he's made me feel beautiful and desired. He's given me moments of happiness, the escape I needed, but I'm aware that this relationship will not end well. I know I have to end it, It is literally making me physically ill. I do not wish this pain on anyone.

I never thought I would have an affair either but I did with my much younger lover. The age thing doesn't have anything to do with it. Yea, it is flattering these younger men find us attractive and yea they are in their prime. The issue is that we fall in love with them and they might not be able to handle that. Plus they either have wives, girlfriends or familes that would not understand. And then there is our husbands. Even though they are asses they still deserve the respect of us not cheating.. But we have to answer to GOD on that, no one else does. Do I think you need to tell your husband you are cheating? NO. I think people do that to clear their on conscience. Why hurt them when you have to answer to GOD for it not them? My husband told me years ago he cheated and it almost killed me. I forgave him but it still hurts. I would have been much better off not knowing....

Nothing is wrong with that, love is love. There are certain limits but you both are fully grown and fully mature adults.

Ok so here is the update. I'm trying to follow SueEllen's advice and make  lear to myself who I really want to be with. I would be lying if I said hat I dont want to be with my husband of 23 yrs. so I decided to have a deep conversation w my yung lover, asked some questions and tried to make my point very cllear. This young manseems tobe very, very attached to me. He tells me that the most important thing is my happiness and that he's positive he's willing to do whatevr it takes to make me happy. I ask how hes going to evercome his family situation? He said, he s a grown man and theyll just have to accept that he is with me (butI know is not so simple). there's also my husband, and I thik I would like to try and work things out. My young luv refuses to end it all and insists hat he can make my life better. He doesnt deserve to get hurt. I do love him but I know ultimately the relationship might not work out. 

Age gap relationships with older women and younger men, can and do, work. I am 43 and my guy is 31. We have lived together for 8 years and have a wonderful life. Never IN A MILLION YEARS would I have ever thought that I would find love with a then 23 year old, however....he wasn't the typical 23 year old either. By the time he was 23, he had already been managing the IT Department at work for a year. He is a computer genius and was very different than ALL of the 23 year olds that I knew. He was mature, had great morals and values, didn't run the bars or womanize. He was intelligent and he and I shared A LOT of common interests, which I found pleasantly surprising. At first I thought it was just going to be a fun thing....go out on dates, do fun stuff, but within 4 months of dating, it was serious on both parts. He told me that he loved me and after that, nothing could stop us. I even lost my job at the company because they didn't approve of two managers having a relationship with each other. We moved in together after dating for 5 months. I have three children from a previous marriage and my YM has raised my son from the age of two. He is now 10 years old and calls him Dad. My ex-husband is fine with this and is happy that our son has so much support from my YM. I think it's because our son has autism and my ex husband (a football coach and real manly man) doesn't know how to deal with it. He happily pays his 200 dollars a week in child support for our two children and allows me and my guy to raise him them way that we see fit. My kids are now aged 23 (from my high school sweetheart) , 17 and 10 (from my ex-husband) and while we may not be what SOME PEOPLE might call a "normal family"......the truth is that we really are. We have a beautiful home, good jobs, wonderful friends and family and we love each other very much. My guy and I are currently making plans for an elopement in 13 months. He just recently asked me to marry him and of course I said YES! However, I want it to be the best hotels and the best location for our 7 day elopement vacation and in order to do that, I had to make reservations 1 year in advance!!!! Savannah, GA. That's where we're doing it and it's going to be BEAUTIFUL. He's my best friend, he really is. And I am SO GLAD that I gave in and allowed him to be a part of our lives. It wasn't an easy decision in the beginning. It was very scary to be honest. And for the first few years I caused a lot of unnecessary drama out of fear. Fear of being left one day, fear of him not finding me sexy anymore, fear of him wanting biological children of his own. But finally, after some time had passed and he was STILL THERE through it all.....I had to let go. I finally realized that ANYONE can leave a relationship for those same reasons. Doesn't matter if they're 25 or 45. I'm so glad that I "threw caution to the wind". It was the best decision that I ever made. Don't be afraid to give love a chance with ANYONE that you are attracted to regardless of age, race or religion. Sometimes things really do work out for the best. One last note. I've read some of these posts and to you women who's YM are wanting to HIDE your relationship......I say run like the wind. Anyone that wants to HIDE you, isn't worth having, in my opinion.

And PS. My reply wasn't directed towards anyone in particular.....I "replied" to SuperNova but only by accident....I just clicked on reply, as I am not a member of this forum. Just wanted SuperNova to know that ;)

PSS. NOW I'm a member :)

So happy for you that you have a fairy tale ending. 

thank you so much for sharing. I have spoken to my guy and we agreed that even though we both enjoy being in this relationship, now it's not the right time.However, since we decide to break it off I feel like the ground has be removed from under my feet and the world is swallowing me slowly. He is being very supportive helping me get thru this painful time and trying to easy the transition. He says this is a new stage in our relation and he trusts that it will make us stronger for when the "time is right". He says this is a new us. I kinda wish he wouldn't be so "nice" so that I can let go of him easier. There are times when the pain becomes too much and I just want to sleep it off, but I can't be medicated all the time. the only way for me to sleep the night is with Valium. Why is love so unfair? Why does it have to hurt so F*%$ing much?

There are just days I don't want to go on living. I feel like I'm in a nightmare and I want it all to end. I want my heart to just stop and be over with it all. I pray for strength and wisdom so I wont do something stupid. Why must we listen to our hearts? why can't we just ignore the feelings and just continue living? I just want my body to die but I'm such a coward to do anything about it so I just don't eat and the time will come when my body will self-destruct and it will be over. Time will eventually take it's toll.

I wish there was an easy solution to this situation. the pain in my heart is becoming unbearable. I am so in love with my YM and can't let go of him no matter what I try. Now that we agreed to end the relationship I miss him. I want to be with him, I want to call him and spend time talking with him. I miss him holding my hand and smelling my hair. I miss the scent of his skin and his warm passionate kisses. Its torture to come to work each day. To see him and not be able to get close to him. to know that at the end of the work day he goes his way and I go my way, whereas before we left together and spend time together every afternoon. Now I'm doubting myself. thinking that maybe I made the wrong choice to let him go.

i myself am 47 yr old and in a relationship with an amazing 27 yr old man. He brings me joy n happiness like no other. And altho he says the age difference doesnt matter to him, it is constantly on my mind. He says he doesnt want children as well. But in conversation last weekend he slips out the name he wants his first born son to be? I am falling so in love with this man, but think all the time, the responsible thing to do would be let him go and persue the family he deserves. It is such a bitter sweet. But am just taking it one day at a time and see where this journey takes us. good luck to all you woman in this same situation.