I fell in love with much younger man

I'm sorry too Sueellen, awful place you are in right now :(

It is probably no consolation but in a way is it better to find out now rather than later?  One of my best friends was diagnosed with double breast cancer, on the day she had her second chemo her mother died.  And so her husband walked out on her....  He was 31, she was 44 at the time.

I'm done with the younger men, believe me..........end of !

Suellen will get through this, her family will be the all important factor, not some kid.

The update on my story is I found out completely by accident that he had been seeing another woman.  We're not a couple, not even dating so I have no problem with that.  I was just so upset that I'd felt him slipping away without explaining to me why.

We did go out on the 5th and had a fantastic day, everything was normal, we laughed and laughed and he was gentlemanly and it was wonderful.

On the way back in the car I had a little talk with him, just fun and friendly, both of us smiling and laughing throughout.  I said he seemed different, he said not, I said he'd been quiet.  He said he'd been busy.  I asked casually, like you ask a girlfriend, if he was back with his girlfriend.  He said he'd not seen her for months.  We chatted some more. I asked if he had a new girlfriend, he said no.  We carried on chatting for a while.  Then I asked if he was seeing someone from the site, he said no..... I gave him a smiling, joking 'really?' kind of look and he launched into speech about how he's just been busy and he's not seeing anyone from the site.  I said it just seems weird he keeps saying he's going to leave the site but he's still on there and logs in all the time.  He said he was going to delete his profile as soon as he got home.  After we left each other we had several texts and a phone call, all happy :)

Next morning a flurry of texts, first one from him before 8am.  That evening I get a message from him via the site saying he was deleting his account "just for you". And it closed.  We went on MSN and I asked him why he was 'blaming' me for his own choice to leave the site? He then proceeded to tell me he had to because I didn't believe him and I'd accused him of lying and it was obviously important to me to be checking up on his comings & goings on the Internet etc. etc.  I told him I'd not accused him of anything and we then had an e-argument :(

The reality is that by deleting his account it removes the proof that he's seen someone else.  I was very upset that he lied so blatantly to me.  In my mind he should have said "yes I am" or "it's none of your business".  He acted like a boyfriend being accused of cheating!

I've seen him since, he did some small jobs round the house for me, I got more physical with him, touching him more and he didn't flinch.  We've talked about stuff to do in the summer, he's mentioned me moving house a again.  I showed him a big gorgeous house on the Internet I found and he started dividing up the rooms - one for him, one for me etc....

We're back to normal in terms of texting frequency, we've another day out planned for this Friday coming.  I am seeing him Sunday.  It just doesn't make total sense to me.  He's not acting like a friend and he's not acting like a boyfriend - it's in the middle and I get soooo confused....

But I really like having him in my life :D

 

Definitely. Family and friends :)

Oh no! He was a pig!!! How terrible. Good news for my yesterday. Went to a specialist and he felt only 10% chance of cancer. Surgery is Feb. 27... I was so relieved...

Wow! That is GOOD news :)

Take it from me. Leave his sorry butt quickly. It hurts like heck and he will be in your every thought for a long time but you will be better off. Don't let him be with you and someone else. What kind of relationship is that. And you might end up broke one day...... It's so easy to get caught up with these young men for some reason and so hard to let them go but some of them are not worth it....

Received great news yesterday. Only 10% chance of cancer and will remove the thing and anything else it might be attached to on Feb. 27. GOD is WONDERFUL. As far as the younger man, I will not tell him anything. I have not seen him or heard from him. I really think is is immature and really don't know how to handle things so he ignores it and hopes it goes away. Sad. But I am in a better place now and will focus on getting better. Just please, please listen to the warning signs with these young men. Don't read anything into them to suit what you want to see or hear. If it looks like a snake, slithers like a snake and strikes like a snake it's a 99.99% it is a snake...

That is great news Suellen, God is good. Time for you to concentrate on you, not some immature kid.

Like I say, put it down to exoerience. That's what I'm doing. It's hard, I still love him, and I know he loves me very much, but he needs to grow a spine. I'm done - over!

If we were in a relationship I would finish it but we're just friends (well confused friends). I am still seeing other people too. I would stop if he asked me to but I don't think it will come to that.

I am very happy to have him in my life, my big fear recently was he was dropping me slowly. I don't believe he is now, I do believe he likes my company enough to be friends regardless of what he does with other women. And friends can last a long time :)

I'm in a bad place right now.

im married but separated and still have a fairly good relationship with my husband,we speak most days and now and again I may stay up there,I moved out due to his drinking problems which has now been resolved due to a bowel problem he has.it has come a little too late tho for me.i go on a popular date site online and got talking to a 28yr old I'm 42 we met up and I've been seeing him for about 4 now but it's not been a bed of roses,when he comes up we get on great 1st week was amazing but after that he began to close up on me telling me he didn't want anything serious,I've fallen in love with him in a big way and told him which didn't go down very well,I've tried to end it so many times and just not messaged him etc yet he always messages me sayin he misses me.is it me or is this man hiding his feelings? I live in kent he lives in london and he would drive up quite a bit stay over then go to work next day but hes not been up in nearly 3 weeks and I think this is due to the fact that I keep coming on too strong with my feelings.my daughter of 19 thinks he only comes up when he's bored but I disagree it's a long way to come for something that he says is not serious.

im so insecure and paranoid that he's seeing other women yet he tells me I over think things and that he's just busy working etc he lives at home with his mum and brothers so I can't even go and stay with him because driving up here must be a pain having to go to work next morning,I'm not sleeping I'm miserable being offish with my husband and snapping at everyone because all I want is for him to come and see me but he won't and I think it's because I've been too full on,only 10 mins ago he messaged me sayin he misses me too.

Am I wasting my time here or is this guy feeling the same for me but knows I'm married there's the age gap and knows its not gonna go anywhere?? Something is keeping us drawn to one another god knows what yeh we have sex but since the 1st week he's not made an effort anymore and I think it's because he's scared to get too close to me,we love cuddling up and watching films together but when we're apart we just argue all the time.

i feel like a stalker and hate keep messaging him pouring my heart out,that's women we can express how we feel they don't argh I just wish I knew if he really does care for me :((

Birdy42. I understand completely how you feel. And sorry but I don't have an answer for you. Not sure if it just that generation (mine was 30 and I am 48) or if they just really don't know how to handle their feelings. Mine would just ignore me for days, so I would text him and say, look I don't have to chase any man and I don't like you making me feel like I am. I have done nothing wrong for you to just ignore me. The next day he would text me and say he was sorry for making me mad. He is just moody sometimes.... I never knew what to think or how to act. I too fell in love with him. and still do but I ended it and after the way he treated me when I told him I might have cancer just sealed it. He was nice but never would respond when I asked him if he wanted updates on how I was doing. I spent 7 months with him. ( hate to admit this but we are both married so as you can see that complicates things. Yea, I got what I deserved because it is wrong but don't judge me by this and just look at what I am saying) I truely believe maturity doesn't have an age limit. But seeing other posts, some of my friends that dates men in their 30's, and from my experience this generation is all ME ME. You don't want to just become his blowup doll. Look at the signs before it's too late. I was too late....Good luck.

I'm also in a complicated situation. I'm 42,have been married for 23 years (never had an affair, but husband has had many), met a younger man who is 26 y/o and had been pursuing me for almost a year. Things at home were "uncomfortable" being that my husband never pays attention to me, always being very bossy and demanding, and he's always been very crude and cruel when he speaks to me (I feel like he's always putting me down, or wants to hurt me) I felt that I needed an escape from all that is happening at home, so I decided to go out with the younger man. He is passionate and gentle, very attentive, he speaks softly to me and always tells me how beautiful I am and how much he cares for me. He holds my hands and kisses me ever so sweet. He plays with my hair and smells my neck. Those are things my husband never does to me. My young lover completes me. I feel very comfortable with him. He makes me feel beautiful and wanted. He does not care that I'm 16 years older. Age has never been an issue. I did not want to get too involve, I just wanted an escape, but I fell in love with him. People that know about our relationship tell us that this relationship is wrong, that I must be "sick" for doing this. He told his family about us but his brothers oppose to the whole thing. He has a very close relationship with his family, but ever since he introduced me they argue and shun him for dating me. It has gotten to the point that I want to end it so he can rebuild his relationship with his family. but it is affecting me deeply. I don't know what to do anymore. I do love him, but I don't want to hurt him. Besides, I'm still with my husband who despite all I love, and I know he loves me in his own way.

That is scary. What is going to happen once your husband finds out? Your friend should have never told anyone until you were divorced. That might be the reason his family isn't for it and not your age. You are putting this young man in a situation he might not can handle. I was in an affair with a young man (he is 30 and I am 48). He is so immature and can't handle me. He hates that I am in love with him. He can't stand that word. Not sure why and he will not tell me why. fI told him it was just an emotion and I didn't want to marry him or anything, just want what we were doing adn that was all but it still bothered him. So I ended it because he wanted to but didn't have the balls. So think long and hard about this young man. HOpe everything works out.

I really don't know what to do. this is affecting me so much is like my body has gone on self-destruct mode. I cant eat, cant sleep, dont know how to go on in life pretending everything is ok. I love him but this relationship is hurting me. I've lost over 20 lbs in less than a month and everyone around me is starting to worry. I am really scared. I need to let him go but I don't have the strength to do it. I have some friends who have been very supportive but in reality not much help. I need advice on how to handle all this.