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hello! i'm 19 i lost my virginity about 3 months ago, my parthner was also a virgin.
my question is, is it normal to bleed after your 4th time doing it with him?
Also we don't do it very often but when we do it always hurts a-lot!!, but once is in it stops hurting.
But before we do it, well we get into the moment and he hasent even put it in an is already hurting me?
I don't know what to do. I don't wanna think i have a problem!, please help! :?

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Hi honey! Do you know if you become lubricated before sex?! Also sometimes - depending on how you feel about sex, TRULY feel - then you can actually be tense before having sex - thus the pain! There are MANY reasons for painful intercourse I will put a list below and check to see if any of these ring a bell OK?

1. Infection - yeast infection in particular!
2. Emotional, Mental "hang ups" about loosing your virginity!
3. Lack of lubrication?
4. Partner too big or thursting too hard?
5. Hymen still partially intact and each time causes a little more of a tear!
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WELL I KNOW FORSURE THAT I GET REALLY WET THATS PART OF LUBRICATION RIGHT?
AND WHEN WE ALSO DID IT WITH A CONDOM THT WAS LUBRICATED IT STILL HURT.
MAYBE IT DOES HAS TO DO WITH TENSION, OR THE HYMEN BC SINCE IT HURTS TOO MUCH
HE TRIES DOING IT CAREFULLY, BUT WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IS WHY DOES IT STARTS HURTING
BEFORE WE EVEN BEGGING? ITS LIKE THIS BAD SENSATION.... %-)
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Hi honey! So does it hurt even before touching the area? is it a stinging pain or a throbing pain? If you can describe to me what happens to cause the pain before the sex act I can help you further!
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Yeah it hurts even before, and when he is barely trying to put it inside. The pain is kind of like throbing.
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I'm not talking about any sort of penetration, does it start hurting or throbbing BEFORE there is ANY kind of physical contact? Is it during foreplay? Is it on top of your vagina - such as your clitoris or labia? or is it at the bottom - where your hymen is/was or just immediately inside the opening of your vagina right at the base?
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well is like throbbing before penetration "it hurts"
but i dont really know where :'(
well is when we start getting into the moment,
then it hurts on the opening when he is trying to put it in.
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If there is no touching and you start hurting then it is psychological! And don't think for one instant that I'm calling you crazy it is an acutal physical pain! I went through this for YEARS after my 1st child! What my doctor told me is this, when you have been through PAIN and trauma (vaginal) then your brain's only job is to keep you breathing and protect you! So my gynecologist told me that my body/brain view my husband as the ultimate enemy! And will do whatever it takes to stop me having anymore pain! So even before we would even TRY to have sex, my body would tense up and I actually would start throbbing - even before foreplay and FORGET penetration! I forgot the name for this, but there is an actual clinical reason for the pain!

NOW if it doesn't start till after he starts touching you, there could be many reasons so here is a list see if any make sense to you!

1. An infection - especially a yeast infection
2. Irriatation from scented products
3. Hymen that has been torn is not healed - which is probably unlikely, as you would have spotting
4. A Bartholin Cyst - inside the opening of your vagina, it feel like a pimple but CAN be the size of a grapefruit!
5. An STD/STI IF you had unprotected sex!
6. A latex allergic reaction - to a condom\
7. Being scratched by a fingernail or a tear in your perineum!
8. Not enough lubriaction - which you have already said isn't the problem!
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:O yeah... i kind of thought it was mental too, but why does it happens? how can i take this away?
like this is my first intimated experience, i dont have babies or anything? why is the reason for this?
about the other part of hurting while putting it in idk maybe is that since we dont do it often maybe my vigina goes
back to its regular size. idk lol
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HEY BAMBI27 HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T REPLY TO ME???
YOU DONT WANNA HELP ANYMORE? IF ITS THAT ITS OKAY. THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP, IT REALLLY
HELPED A-LOT.
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Hi honey! I'm here, I didn't get your message the other day!!! I don't know why that happened so anyway I'm here!

Vaginas are what they are - they are just muscles so there is no"shrinking back!"

Psycological reasons for pain are DEEP! It can come from being told that Sex is immoral, or dirty, OR a deep fear that you will get pregnant or an STI! Also due to all these videos and movies etc young girls thing that ALL sex is pleasurable and WILD and moaning and groaing etc! As I have told others on this site IF that was the case People wouldn't go to work or school! It would be one sexual encounter after another! So when you have sex for the first time and it hurts, you didn't expect it! So you are upset thinking that something is wrong with YOU - because it wasn't like a Justin Timberlake video or a p***y Cat Dolls etc. I am sure you didn't expect it to hurt you did you? So now your brain has come in to defend you against further pain - JUST like a baby touching a candle, then they get burnt, then they WONT do it again, because the brain has learnt it's lesson and WONT allow you to do it again! And this is the same for you with sex! You have to look deep inside and really think how you truly feel about loosing your virginity and how you view the act of SEX! AND IF you want to do it again, hopefully it is with someone you love and loves you back, and you will have to take it easy and breathe through it all! And don't start out with ANY penetration, till your brain thinks "Well this part isn't so bad, so I WILL allow this without pain" and then it will take time, but eventually your brain will let you be sexual again! BUT I will tell you what I have told EVERY other person regarding their first time - JUST because you have done it once, DOES NOT mean you have to do it again! A lot of girls - in particular - think that "what's the point now, I might as well just keep doing it!" And they end up being trapped by a "reputation" IF you are really not ready, you are NOT ready and your partner will ahve to wait till you are! NEVER push yourself to do something you don't want to, NOR EVER allow someone to push you into it! EVEN music videos and movies!

I would suggest that you need to start feeling comfortable with your own body - masturbation etc, and get used to the fact of sexual touch is tender and pleasurable! This will start training your brain to think differently! Does this help you honye?
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yeah! since u be helping me with this i be telling my boyfriend, and he said something alike
that my body is use to protecting my self and since it hurt on the first time well then this other
times i feel tense about it and my brain is just acting in defence towards it.... well i know that i dont have to
do it again if i dont want to and no one pressures me to do it. Plus i love my boyfriend with all my heart and beeing,
i been in relationships with other guys and i never lost it to them bc i wasnt ready for them or had enough emotions towards them,
but with my boyfriend i feel really different about it and i feel comfortable with him in every single way. I do want to keep doing it
maybe is the whole pregnancy thing "I DONT WANNA GET PREGNAT ANY TIME SOON" thats probably my fear. I guess i have to relax more! :-) ... YOU ARE SOO HELPFUL!! 8)
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You are welcome honey! Just take it nice and slow and with total tenderness! I am glad you have found someone to love!
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thanks! this is actually working :-P
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