Hey there! Ok so I'm a teenaged girl and I love to masturbate. I do. It's amazing. But the stupid thing is... I have never made my self cum! And even my bf has tried to do and we can't figure out what's wrong. Ok so here's where I need you're serious help. I do plenty of clit stimulation. Ill be doin it for a while and then ya know I get that feelin! The tingly sensation throughout the body and the little tickle you get in your lower abdomen. I get it! But nothing happens. I even get the throbbing and i feel like im gonna explode all over the place.... hut still notta. After a couple seconds.... It just disappears. And I'm left with nothin. I'm so tired of this and my bf is ready to stop feeling like a failure so please.... Help me. Thanks! <3
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I understand the frustration, many women have difficulty reaching orgasm, but I am not sure that is what you mean. Are you saying that you are unable to "squirt"? That may seem like an odd question. But it is something I need to know before I can offer any advice.
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Well honestly at this point, I just don't care what I'm aiming for. I've got nothing out of getting "crazy" the whole year and a half we've been dating and were both feeling like really bad about ourselves. So any advice would ge just grand. What ever you can help me with. Thanks for replying! Don't give up on me now! :) haha
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I will, I promise. I need to understand the situation so I may ask some embarrassing questions. We can discuss it privately if this concerns you. You two have nothing to feel bad about. I think you just need a little information on sex that, for whatever stupid reason, isn't taught to most people. The reason is the cultural taboos in regards to sex and sexuality. People are left to figure it out for themselves and that takes time, and can result in long term self image issues, which you can clearly see given your case.
I just got home and I need a little time to get things taken care of here. Then I am going to formulate an initial strategy to resolve this. At t first, just questions to to identify the core issue(s). Then we figure out what to do about it. I have some good news, there are probably some sexual exercises for the two of you in the near future. That can be a lot of fun.
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I just don't understand if I'm doin something wrong. I feel bad about it. I feel bad for my bf.
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Relax, you cannot be expected to be an expert when no one bothers to tell you. If my hunch is correct, I think you are doing just fine. But we will see. I think I better move this up, I can see how this is affecting you. I will be back in about 15 minutes. I am going to need you to be specific. Again, if this embarrasses you we can use the system here to talk privately. Not that I am pushing you to do this, I just want to make sure you know that is a choice you can make.
I will see you soon.
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Since I really don't know what is happening, I think the best starting point is for you to tell me what the problems are as clear as possible. I forgot to point out I am not a qualified counselor or sex therapist. I will do my best to help you and I think I can. But this may, scratch that, will take some time. When we have a plan, you will go and practice what we talked about, and we will discuss it afterwards to see what is or isn't working. A large part of this is experimentation as you learn your own bodies and each others. There is not one way to do these things. You will need to learn what works for you. I am confident you will learn these things.
I know this is hard to do, especially in writing, but please describe the issues you are experiencing one at a time. I will ask questions and then we will go to the next. We may or may not discuss what to do about them. Many times these are interrelated and need to be looked at as a whole. Did say many, I meant usually are interlinked.
It sometimes take me a little time to respond. Barring some unforeseeable problem, I am here and I will respond.
Are you up for this? If so, tell me the me about one of these issues, The order is not important at this time.
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The only issue I wanna figure out is why I can cum. Honestly my bf and I are happy with everything else about our relationship. Physically i mean. It's just I CAN NOT FIGURE IT OUT. My body just won't do it. And I feel like I almost get to that point where Im gonna do it but then Nothing happens. The only issue is cumming. That's it.
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Ok, I know this is going to sound like a wtf? question. But what exactly are you expecting? This is important, I really need to know. Please be as clear and as precise as you can. When you say you cannot cum, is because you are not achieving orgasm, or is that you expect a certain amount of resulting liquid, or what? I am sorry, please be patient with me, but I need to know.
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I have been thinking of the best questions to proceed with, there are so many that can be asked. I am going to try a limited approach without that many questions and stick to masturbation for now. Again, some of these are going to sound like stupid question, but they are not as stupid as they look. (At least I hope not.)
What do you mean by that, what does an orgasm mean to you? What would the evidence be if you climaxed as opposed to what you are experiencing? I am not trying to insult you. What is cum. a measurable fluid, wet sensations, etc? What does cum look like? Or is more a description of your responses than a than something that comes out of your body? I am not trying to be insulting. I imagine I am a little older than you and definitions actually do change. It will help me immensely If I know your expectations compared to what you are actually getting.
How would describe the sensations as you masturbate? Do you seem to get right up to it but just can't get over the edge? How does your body respond, are there clear signs of arousal? Do you fantasize before and/or during masturbation? What methods do you use for masturbation, hands/fingers only, dildos, vibrators, etc and do you get a different response if you do?
Are you satisfied with your body? Do you think of yourself as ugly or something similar? Do you feel like your sexually related organs are ugly, dirty/unclean, or wrongly shaped, etc?
Lets start with these. I know it is a lot, and I am not even done, I apologize for that. This is much more difficult over the net. The first question set is the ones I put first. Describing what is actually happening is really important, as is describing your expectations.
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I think of cum as being like white fluid that comes from the body. Type "what does cum look like" on google and ta da there ya have it. My bf has cumed b4 so I have an idea of what it's like I guess. I know with girls it's different but yeah....
As far as what you said with masturbating, that exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm almost the but I can't get over the edge! EXACTLY how I feel.
And as far as my body goes, I'm perfectly fine with what god gave me. I just wish I could fine the ejaculate button. Haha :)
As far as what you said with masturbating, that exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm almost the but I can't get over the edge! EXACTLY how I feel.
And as far as my body goes, I'm perfectly fine with what god gave me. I just wish I could fine the ejaculate button. Haha :)
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And I'm gonna answer as many questions as I feel comfortable answering. I'm so happy that you're helping but something's I wanna keep to myself. Thanks.
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Of course. I should have made clear that your privacy will be fully respected. I do not expect you to answer any questions you are uncomfortable with. there is the option of discussing this on this site's messaging system if there are things you are willing to tell me but kept private otherwise.
I really do want to help you, especially because of how this making you feel. The hardest part for me is knowing what is actually happening, and much of that nobody would feel comfortable with unless they are an exhibitionist.
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