I have really bad mood swings to the point where I try taking my life

I'm desperate so I'm just going to lay it out here. I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get help soon. I don't have medical so I go to a wellness center. I have really bad mood swings to the point where I try taking my life. I always seem to have one huge break down a year where I stop working, I don't talk to people I basically go into hibernation. The wellness said I wasn't bipolar and I don't need meds. I smoke a lot of weed to keep me calm. I get angry pretty often but I've been controlling that. Lately my eyes have been hurting when I read or watch tv. The white parts are yellow, but they have been that way since I can remember. I've never weighed this less in my life I'm 103 pounds. My lower left side of my back is pinching pain whenever I walk. I just feel like I'm going to die if I don't get help. I've been here before three years ago and it took going to the ER four times and telling them the only way I eat sleep or even am alive right now is because I smoke weed. I want to get sober and change my life. If I stop smoking ill have a huge break down and I'm so thin right now I can't afford not to eat for three days while I go through withdrawals. Please any advise would be so appreciate.