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My name is Leah I am 25 I'm a single mother of three kids. I have been addicted to opiates for 6 years. It all began with lortab or percs whatever small stuff. I abused it terribly it gave me energy and I was happy at first. 6 months of the abusing painers. Couldn't find any so i began the devil (heroin) I shot up for the first time I fell in love. Soon the party was over lost my job cps got called on me several times I lost all respect from everyone around me, I also found out i was pregnant with my fourth child at 21 years old. I new i had to stop being young and dumb i listened to docs telling me get on methadone and i did. I actually did straiten up i wasn't a criminal anymore got a new job, I just didn't like that i nodded all the time. I was on 95 mg the whole pregnancy. My baby girl was born addicted to the methadone it being legal they couldn't take her from me. But if looks could kill by those nursed id be dead. She went thru withdraw just like we do 6 weeks she was sick. Even being weaned off. She did get better being born at 5 lbs 5 oz by 3 months old she weighed 13 lbs. But on Christmas morning i woke up to her lifeless body. My baby girl was gone. They said it was sids but i will always blame myself. This addiction had brought me so down I then began the xanax addiction for the next two years i did come off them by myself. I had weaned myself from 95 mg of meth down to 30 switched to subs that was some pain 9 months wasted weaning pointless suboxone is awful. I have suffered for over a year and a half of the subs i even did the waismann method (rapid Detox) didn't work. This year alone i have attempted to quit subs 3 times lasting the whole 30 days and relapse cause of all my responsibilities. This is my third time i have made it to day 35 and my physical symptoms are gone. I have hardly any energy, but i know that this is not the life for me everyone has given up on me but i haven't given up on me i have a slim support system. My baby girl is my reminder of how demonic this drug is. Sorry this is so long but i feel you need to hear my story. Let's quit this and get our lives back because everyone deserves that. God bless!!

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First of all congratulations! Not many people understand just how difficult it really is to beat an opiate addiction. Also know that the loss of your child was in no way your fault sids is a terrible reality that not many have to face. You should only think how proud your little girl would be that you beat the addiction that has dictated your life for so long. You had to be strong to deal with suboxone and detox, they have actually began to prescribe a new medication in place of suboxone known as subutix. They are slowly taking suboxone out of the picture because it caused many people depression. So in light of everything you have been through I am sure you are a stronger person now and you should be looking forward to a life of sobriety.
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I came across your posting and wanted to reply. Without having the internet I dont know if I would have made it through or as far as I have. My who life growing up I have watched my parents deal with there addictions. My mother who has struggled with cocain, meth, alcohol and now pills. My father who is an alcoholic and sometimes and recreational drug user. I never once thought I would find myself as an addict. When I was 20 I took my brother in (who was 10 at the time) casue our mother couldnt take care of him let alone her self. I had to grow up pretty fast as a young child. Anways I got a really good job and was doing really great, then I starting taking pills for fun. I would run out and it was no big deal, then I became dependant on them for about 3 1/2 years. I never seen a doctor so I got these in other ways. When it was hard to find them, I was introduced to Suboxen from a good friend. So after experimenting with those I decided I would use them to get off the pills. During this whole time know one ever and or does know I have a problem, well except my mom cause she was a supplier to my own demon. I used the little orange pill for about 1 1/2 years and tried quitting twice. eash time I would get 2 weeks exactly and fall off the wagon. Now holding a great job, taking care of my brother and starting a new relationship.. with no knowing I even have a problem! So it was hard quitting, but like I said having the internet has helped me make it through. I am almost at the 2 week mark, but this time not looking back. Here I thought I got a lot accomplished while I was high, but in reality I just cleaned my house alot and almost froze time for myself own personal self to succeed in life. Now I face the issues I started, but I feel so great! I am still feeling the withdrawl symptoms, cant sleep, sweating, restless legs, muscle cramps and fatigue. But I have always been someone that loves natural healing and vitamins. I take an energy supplement from GNC and a mood enhancer called neuro link (from amen clinics). Anyways I just wanted to share my experience, in reading your post it just makes me stronger! You have been through even more then I have, thank you for sharing your experience! In quitting only means a better life for yourself and your loved ones around you!
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Dear Leah,

my name is Kelly and I am trully sorry for your baby. I cant imagine how hard it was for you. I too was taking Suboxone for over 2 years and went through the Waismann after trying 2 reahbs and the help of my doctor. I have to tell you that it diod work for me and I am so happy. After almost 6 years of pills ( numerous surgeries) and Suboxone, it has been 8 months that i detox in the hospital and went to their after care. It could not have been a better experience. As hard as getting clean is , I had so much care and support that I kind of felt I owe them to do my best. I guess is where you are in life emtionally and if can handle what life dishes out and you had a lot to deal.
I wish you all the best and stay healthy.
God Bless.

Kelly
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