I'm not even sure which section this should be in. I know it's pretty long, sorry.
I'm a 17 year old teenage girl.
Recently, the past two months maybe, i've been getting alot of unusual thoughts. For a start i can't stop thinking about death. Not killing people, i mean what happens when we die. Where we go. And i always get upset about it. It's usually when i'm on my own, like at night, coz i can distract myself during the day. But it really upsets me. It's literally taking over my life. I can't get it out of my head. I'm crying almost every night now. This is only the latest of strange things.
Since i was a young kid i've always had a strange imagination. Like, i can imagine things out of thin air. I've been scared of the dark since i was young, because i'd always imagine things in my room. Most kids grow out of it, but i haven't. I still can't sleep without a light on. Because when i do i imagine things coming out of shadows and tv screens and windows and it gets pretty freaky. I know they're all in my head, but i'm terrified coz they look so real. I have to hide under my sheets. I'm shaking just at the thought of it.
My dad died when i was 10,i was bullied pretty bad since that and age 15 was a pretty bad year for me. I started cutting, pulling out eyelashes, scratching my hands until they bleed. It was pretty bad. I've managed to stop myself, but lately since this whole death thing has started, i've felt it coming back. :-(
And as well i've started up these old habits i had of squeezing (best description i can think of) my eyes every minute or two,and doing this weird thing with my nose. It's mad. I know it's stupid, but i just can't stop doing it. Shutting my eyes as tight as i can for three seconds and letting go. And jerking my nose around in circles. Always three times. I have no idea why, i thought i grew out of them years ago but they're back too. But it's like the death thoughts, i can distract myself but they comes back when i'm not doing anything.
I have no idea what's going on :-(
I have a doctor appointment for monday morning, but i'd like some insight maybe into what he might say. So i can prepare myself sorta. I like being prepared.
Any help would be useful :/ thanks x
I'm a 17 year old teenage girl.
Recently, the past two months maybe, i've been getting alot of unusual thoughts. For a start i can't stop thinking about death. Not killing people, i mean what happens when we die. Where we go. And i always get upset about it. It's usually when i'm on my own, like at night, coz i can distract myself during the day. But it really upsets me. It's literally taking over my life. I can't get it out of my head. I'm crying almost every night now. This is only the latest of strange things.
Since i was a young kid i've always had a strange imagination. Like, i can imagine things out of thin air. I've been scared of the dark since i was young, because i'd always imagine things in my room. Most kids grow out of it, but i haven't. I still can't sleep without a light on. Because when i do i imagine things coming out of shadows and tv screens and windows and it gets pretty freaky. I know they're all in my head, but i'm terrified coz they look so real. I have to hide under my sheets. I'm shaking just at the thought of it.
My dad died when i was 10,i was bullied pretty bad since that and age 15 was a pretty bad year for me. I started cutting, pulling out eyelashes, scratching my hands until they bleed. It was pretty bad. I've managed to stop myself, but lately since this whole death thing has started, i've felt it coming back. :-(
And as well i've started up these old habits i had of squeezing (best description i can think of) my eyes every minute or two,and doing this weird thing with my nose. It's mad. I know it's stupid, but i just can't stop doing it. Shutting my eyes as tight as i can for three seconds and letting go. And jerking my nose around in circles. Always three times. I have no idea why, i thought i grew out of them years ago but they're back too. But it's like the death thoughts, i can distract myself but they comes back when i'm not doing anything.
I have no idea what's going on :-(
I have a doctor appointment for monday morning, but i'd like some insight maybe into what he might say. So i can prepare myself sorta. I like being prepared.
Any help would be useful :/ thanks x
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Hirstly , good luck at the doctors. I have fear of death too- its really scary. I dont fear my own death ( all the time) just loved ones.
Ive been to my docs and stuff, and they have helped me, though I had to make my own mind up about things. I must adit at the mo I am on an totally unusual high. Not good when I know where you are at, so I dont mean to be any insensitivity. Good luck. I take citalopram. if I want to drinl, I do If i dont , I dont. I refuse to go elsewhere , for more reasons than folks would know. Speak with your doctor ( as openly as you can, your in this place cause your clever ) so do not let docs intimidate you, Okay, Let me know how you get on. it sounds like anxiety to me, ( but thats okay0 you can learn to cope with it, but it does pop its ugly head mostly . Take care and best wishesxxx
Ive been to my docs and stuff, and they have helped me, though I had to make my own mind up about things. I must adit at the mo I am on an totally unusual high. Not good when I know where you are at, so I dont mean to be any insensitivity. Good luck. I take citalopram. if I want to drinl, I do If i dont , I dont. I refuse to go elsewhere , for more reasons than folks would know. Speak with your doctor ( as openly as you can, your in this place cause your clever ) so do not let docs intimidate you, Okay, Let me know how you get on. it sounds like anxiety to me, ( but thats okay0 you can learn to cope with it, but it does pop its ugly head mostly . Take care and best wishesxxx
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It's normal to be scared of death. It's fascinating/terrifying at the same time just because it's really the ONLY thing in life that we will never know anything about or have any answers to.
So no worries! It's just something we all have to contemplate sometimes.
It sounds like you're just worrying too much and it's creating anxiety. Try some relaxation/meditation techniques. Clearing your mind of clutter will make a world of difference... I know it does for me when I start to worry too much.
So no worries! It's just something we all have to contemplate sometimes.
It sounds like you're just worrying too much and it's creating anxiety. Try some relaxation/meditation techniques. Clearing your mind of clutter will make a world of difference... I know it does for me when I start to worry too much.
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