I'm in love with my bf, but I found myself to be attracted to someone else ! (HELP)

Nette14 over a year ago

Hi, So I've been dating my lovely and wonderful boyfriend for six months. I'm 17 and I'm about to turn 18 in October. I really love him. Before we started dating we were best friends, and our friendship turned into an amazing romance. We've always been so close and I tell him everything. We don't argue or fight, we've barely had any problems. We always have a good time together and I know within my heart I want to be with him for as long as I possibly can. The last time him and I went out was almost a month ago and I'm so use to seeing him every single day. But recently, we haven't been able to see each other how we want to because of my mother's strict rules and morals. I got a summer job and I noticed this guy hanging around the office, we didn't work together but the reason he would be in the office was because his mother works here. I've never sat down and had a long conversation with him. He'd always be in and then out. He's say hi to me and smile, and the longest conversation we've ever had was about 10 minutes. Last week being my third week at this office was where I realized that I could possibly be attracted to him. This has never happened to me before and it made me devastated. I started to talk down on myself and think that I was a bad girlfriend and I didn't deserve this relationship. I beat myself up about it over and over again. I felt overwhelmed and I told myself that I hated myself for this happening. How could I get attracted to someone else when I already have a fantastic relationship? To make matters worse, in 2 previous relationships my boyfriend's ex girlfriends actually liked other guys and pursued them. I don't want anything to do with this guy, I don't even talk to him. I feel bad because I tell my boyfriend everything but, I'm afraid to tell him about this because I don't how he'll react to it. Does anyone have any advice that could help me cope with this?

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Barret12 over a year ago

Feeling attraction for handsome guy doesn't make you a bad girlfriend, its just human nature. Its acting on those impulses and cheating that is bad and you're clearly not the type of person to do that. I'd say the fact that you would feel so bad about this shows that you're extremely loyal and a wonderful girlfriend.

As for being scared of telling your boyfriend, I don't think you should worry too much about it. So long as you make it clear that you have no intention of acting upon it, he should be fine with it though he might be a bit jealous. I'd wager that he's also found other girls attractive, but that doesn't mean he'll do anything either. Solid relationships are built on more than mere attraction and if you and him have been best friends for a long time, then you have a foundation as solid as any.

To sum it up, you should just calm down and stop beating yourself up over it. When something like this happens, its not under your control and therefore you're blameless and you don't need to feel bad about yourself for it.

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SunnydaleSpook356714 over a year ago

Relax... there is always gonna be more than one person in the world we find attractive but it doesn't mean anything if you don't want it to, i think at this point just back off from this guy, you NEVER cheated on him or anything so you don't need to tell him anything, you did nothing wrong and remained loyal to your bf, i mean nothing has ever happened between you and this guy so you haven't done nothing lol, your worrying far too much. If you sense this guy finds you attractive too id just tell him you have a bf and you don't want to mislead him and be done with it, your bf doesn't need to hear about every tom and harry that ever chats you up lol, there will always be some guy trying to chat us women up, your doing fine :).

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