my girlfriend and i both turned 18 and weve both never had sex before , she says she wants to but i dont want her to feel like im pushing her into anything. i respect her and love her, and am more than happy remaining a virgin if shes not ready for that yet! wat should i do?
She sounds ready to take the relationship to the next level. It's time for you both to sit down and have a "heart to heart" First time sex between two people who really love each other and are really ready can make for wonderful lasting memories.
But in order to make these memories special for the both of you, you have to take precautions first. So out of the respect and love that you have for her, talk to her about starting birth control (if she hasn't already)
Getting pregnant your first time out, does not a pleasant memory make, especially in todays society where we are very educated when it comes to sex and birth control. You are both 18 which automatically makes you both adults. So treat the situation as an adult. Communication is imperative. Both of you need to be on the same page. Pick a moment to talk with her when you two are alone with no interuptions. Tell her how you feel and listen to her. You will know when the time is right, but please make sure that you two are both protected.
But in order to make these memories special for the both of you, you have to take precautions first. So out of the respect and love that you have for her, talk to her about starting birth control (if she hasn't already)
Getting pregnant your first time out, does not a pleasant memory make, especially in todays society where we are very educated when it comes to sex and birth control. You are both 18 which automatically makes you both adults. So treat the situation as an adult. Communication is imperative. Both of you need to be on the same page. Pick a moment to talk with her when you two are alone with no interuptions. Tell her how you feel and listen to her. You will know when the time is right, but please make sure that you two are both protected.
I have to echo what bbfeet9 has said above.
Getting pregnant on the first time out is not fun.
No matter how thrilling the first time might be.
It's not worth it.
Also, you are right to question whether you both are ready for this.*
I would urge that you continue talking and discuss your feelings and values in this area. Are you both in the same space? Is this just for fun? Is it a sign of your love? Is it a permanent bond? (Believe me, you'll always remember your first partner, no matter what the outcome...)
What happens if she becomes pregnant? Will you keep the kid? Marry her?
Separate? Abort? How will you deal with it?
What are your future plans? School? Work? Marriage? Education? Moving?
These are all important topics to be discussed... maybe not while in bed or cuddling, but in the course of the next week or so.
Make sure you two are together in your thinking before you start planning where and when to make that first big step and intercourse. You'll want a safe, quiet, unpressured environment where you both can relax and rest, should you decide to proceed.
Good luck.
*My first time was disasterous for this reason. Though the girl said yes, and we both wanted to do this with protection, she used petroleum lube without my knowledge and the condom broke upon withdrawal. I overreacted and we fractured the relationship. It's a painful memory I have no wish to be seen repeated with other young people. Get on the same page!
Getting pregnant on the first time out is not fun.
No matter how thrilling the first time might be.
It's not worth it.
Also, you are right to question whether you both are ready for this.*
I would urge that you continue talking and discuss your feelings and values in this area. Are you both in the same space? Is this just for fun? Is it a sign of your love? Is it a permanent bond? (Believe me, you'll always remember your first partner, no matter what the outcome...)
What happens if she becomes pregnant? Will you keep the kid? Marry her?
Separate? Abort? How will you deal with it?
What are your future plans? School? Work? Marriage? Education? Moving?
These are all important topics to be discussed... maybe not while in bed or cuddling, but in the course of the next week or so.
Make sure you two are together in your thinking before you start planning where and when to make that first big step and intercourse. You'll want a safe, quiet, unpressured environment where you both can relax and rest, should you decide to proceed.
Good luck.
*My first time was disasterous for this reason. Though the girl said yes, and we both wanted to do this with protection, she used petroleum lube without my knowledge and the condom broke upon withdrawal. I overreacted and we fractured the relationship. It's a painful memory I have no wish to be seen repeated with other young people. Get on the same page!