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Hi, I'm 18 and female.
I lost my virginity last night. I expected pain and bleeding but OH. MY. GOD.

1st, the pain: It was horrible. So, so much worse than I expected. I can immediately and easily say that it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, and the only reason I didn't cry was because I was truly BEYOND CRYING. I just sort of dry sobbed. (My poor boyfriend. I think he thought he was killing me.)

2nd, the bleeding: An unpleasant surprise. I've heard there can be "some blood"...forget that! It was a deluge! It was all over my genitals and thighs, and unfortunately ruined his sheets and went through into his bedding... :$

Now, about 24 hours later, I am STILL BLEEDING. Not exessively, of course, but a steady spotting of fresh blood every once in a while. (Though it seems to be slowing a bit)

The BF and I tried to have intercourse again today (we figure we should get the first few times - the painful times - over with) but I had to stop him. He only barely got the head in before I realized that there was no way I could take the pain. :$

He says I'm really, really tight. Like, unusually so. And while he's happy about that, it's also causing us a lot of frustration because this just doesn't seem to be happening easily for us.

So, for now, we've decided to let my insides heal for a couple days and then try again, this time with loads and loads of lube which will hopefully help ease the entrance part of intercourse, at least.

Is any of this unusual? I always heard to expect "some blood" and "a lot of pain". But "a lot" doesn't even cover it. I'm so, so ready to be sexually active but I'm honestly afraid of having intercourse again...please tell me it wont hurt as much the second time around?! Because the pain...oh my god...I'm about to cry just THINKING about how much it hurt...in fact it even kinda stings right now.

(And before anyone asks: Yes, I was sexually stimulated and my boyfriend went slow and made sure I was okay every step of the way - it's not his fault. EDIT: and yes, he wore a condom. A lubricated one...Trojan ENZ, I believe.)

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I think you should see a doctor.

Not everyone experiences pain and bleeding their first time although it does happen, but for you to be feeling such extreme pain and also to still be bleeding seems like there is some other problem there.

You should definately see someone to make sure it is nothing more serious.
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HEY I WAS WONDERING NOW A CUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE GONE BY DO YOU STILL HAVE THE SAME PAIN BECAUSE I JUST GOT MARRIED AND I SEEMED TO BE HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM AS YOU AND IM SCARED TO DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE PAIN. SO HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW
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I am still a virgin because my boyfriend's penis just won't penetrate. We've tried so many times without any success. Recently we used a lubricant, and I still couldn't handle the pain!! He claims that I'm scared and nervous, but I'm only scared because it hurts soooo much! I feel there is something wrong with me, seriously! He can't even enter two fingers without me squirming. It's pretty ridiculous. And my bf is not even that big... he's average in both thickness and length. I am going to see a doctor about this!
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something sinilar happend to me when i lost my virginity. i had to make my boyfriend stop after a few minutes because it hurt too bad and i knew i was bleeding alot. after a couple of days the spotting stopped though.

just wait for everything to heal and it will hurt less the next time you do it. but just as a warning, it still won't be painless. the lube is a good idea though, it will help you alot. and always use a condom when you have sex, especially in the beginning becuase it makes it easier and less painful for you.

good luck :-)
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wow.Well me and my bf just tried last night.It didn't work.It wouldn't fit and the pain was unbearable he thought he was killing me.I trid to but up with it but to no avial.I would see a doctor maybe he ripped some tissue?
thats normal and fixxable.
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Thats normal its the breaking of the wall which can bleed a little or alot
if you have used tampons you might have broken it before thus it being less painful and less bleeding and sometime they don't. , the same thing happen to me with the lots of bleeding, Don't worry so much about the pain or it being painful it only makes it worse because you tighten up more, so try to relax, and dont worry it gets easier each time.
its going to be tight the first few times but it will stop after awhile
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It's ok everybody have there different ways. Sometimes you will feel like you are having tears and rips but it something called your cherry is getting burst
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I'm 24 and got married about a week ago. I am feeling like all you girls. My partner is huge, can't get it in, i yell, cry and scream everytime we try to get it in.
Is it weird or what?
I used to masturbate since before i was a teenager, all the time, i'd finger myself, insert certain objects (never as thick as my husbands penis) ...
And now i cannot handle the pain of trying to break my virginity.
We've tried hours of foreplay, lube, baby oil, condoms, i even tried pre-medicating myself with Panadeine Forte (60mg of Codeine and 1g of Paracetamol), to no avail.
Even tried going in when he is soft... didn't work, although felt good!!
I don't know what else to do. I have a high pain threshold, cos i self harm (cut myself etc.) But i just can't do this!!!!!!
I am generally a very turned on person... Why can't i do this?
hehehe god love my husband, he said we'll do this even if it takes a year!
Any tips..
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I remember that my first time stung, and there was more pressure than pleasure, but I didn't bleed. It actually took several times before I was accustomed to it enough so that sex didn't smart a bit. It helped that there was communication, and that he held still until I could tolerate more. I do know that every woman is different...in fact, the hymen can vary greatly from woman to woman. Some few women are lucky enough to be born without one! In others, it is a thin ring that lines the vaginal opening. And in others, it can cover much of the vagina and make things very painful.

If foreplay, lube, and gentleness on behalf of your boyfriend hasn't made it any easier, maybe you just need more time. If there was that much blood, maybe all you need is to heal; perhaps it's swollen down there, making things more painful than they have to be. And going to a gynecologist couldn't hurt either, if only for your own peace of mind. Good luck.
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the first time for me was slightly painful. but it was like, bare it for the first couple of minutes or so then it just got really really nice. maybe you need to put more force in? i dont know if thats stating the obvious or whatever as it sounds as if you've tried a lot. but maybe you are just not being strong enough, and you need to relax a lot more. maybe, try all the lovely things like, candles, music, dimmed lights and work on the romance, and see if that helps you to just be at ease more, and that might help slightly. im only suggesting a new perspective as everything else has pretty much been covered.
i hope everything is okay now :-) x
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I have had sex with my boyfriend loads of times its unreal..And he still hasn't made me bleed...What does this mean?!
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Omg please don't tell me that this hurts that bad. I am soo scared !!! everytime me and my boyfriend talk about my first time, my hands shake and also my legs !!! I'm just in a big stress about all of it, I can't sleep, I don't eat for days, I cry to my boyfriend. Yes i know that this is childish, but really my two fingers don't even fit, and I am soo scared that if I'm gonna bleed, then I will just embaress myself infront of my boyfriend! :-(!!! :-( :-( :-( :-(
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If you're worried about being embarrassed in front of him, you're not ready to have sex.
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I can sympathise A LOT.
I'm 19 and I lost my virginity last night and I'm still hurting.
We did loads of foreplay etc and wore a condom but the pain was really bad. Didn't help that he has the hugest penis that I have seen! He went pretty fast on me though so I went numb after a while and I relaxed and enjoyed it. Try going on top first - your in the driving seat whilst your vagina adjusts to having something in it for the first time. Then when you feel comfortable let him do the work. It wasn't as bad as I thought its just the stinging/aching pain after that is suprising me as well as the heavy bleeding on my part. I suppose we should have put a towel down first. People are saying that the pain eases up after a while though, so I suppose you can only be patient, heal, then try again. If it get better over time then just hold it in (per say) and get on with it coz it can only get better right? (It better anyway :-S )
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