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a while ago i met the most amazing girl in the world. We got talking and we went out for a while we had our problems and we split up for a bit. My nan always told me that you only have half a heart and out there somewhere someone else has the other half you just have to find it. We both felt that way about each other and loved each other so much. Before I met her my life was boring she made it so much better gave me so much confidence to do things i would have never done if it wasnt for her. She really did change my life

About 3 months ago she comminted suicide because of problems she was having. Since then nothing ever seems to have a point it feels like im drowning and there is no one there to save me. I took so much time off college  however i passed the course i was on. Everything I do/Think of reminds me of her in some way. My mom knew about her dying however she seems to just forget it like it never happened she didnt really like us going out in the first place. I cant tell her how i feel because she wont understand she will just tell me im crazy and send me to a doctor and i dont want that.

Everyday i feel i just want to be with her and right now dying has more attraction to it than living. Ive tried carrying on with my life and i know she would want me to be happy however i cant be happy without her.

Please help me

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I am sorry to hear about your friends loss and your loves loss. Although this is very tragic you can use this experience in a positive way. Your mom is acting like that because she knows its a touchy subject and doesn't want to bring it up nor remind you of it happening. The more you talk about it the better you will feel. Spread the word of your friend and your love for each other, if you dont who will? All she had was you and now she left you to continue on living life for her but also with her in your heart. In time you will heal, I pray you will reconsider your harmful thought and use it for something good in life. Good luck and please be safe.
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I USED TO FEEL THAT WAY I WAS IN FOSTER CARE FOR 7 YEAR WHEN I GOT HOME MY MOM KICKED ME OUT AND IVE BEEN DUMPED BY GIRLS ALLOT MY DAD DISSAPERED WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN MY LIFE IS JUST screwed.

I GOT ON SUM DEPRESSION MEDICATION CALLED APLENZIN EVERTHING HAS BEEN BETTER AFTER I STARTED TAKIN THAT AND I WHEN I STARTED GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE AND LOSING SUM POUNDS I FELT GOOS AS sh*t.

 I UNDERTAND YOUR PAIN AND TRYING TO JUST THINK ABOUT IT A DIFFERENT WAY CAN ALLWAYS HELP
JUST THINK ABOUT IT YOU LOST A PERSON YOU LOVE
 BUT THATS ALL YOU REALLY LOST AND ITS SUMTHING THAT COMES WITH LIFE YOU LOSE YOUR MOM DAD GRANDMA FRIENDS MOVE AWAY AND IT HURTS BUT THERE AINT sh*t YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.YOU EXEPT IT IT AND MOVE ON AS BEST YOU CAN.IVE NEVER REALLY BEEN DRUNK I IVE HEARD THAT HELPS THO.SMOKEIN WEED PROLLY WONT HELP YOU MUCH WITH THIS ISSUE

.AND IF YOU GOT SEX ON YOUR MIND YOU CAN FIND A GIRL FIENDING FOR A BUCK ANYWARE.     GOOD LUCK MAN
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i am very sorry for your loss.
but only time will heal. everyday is a struggle, but day by day, week by week, month by month, you will slowly get stronger.
try finding a hobby. something you can do that keeps your mind busy. i think this will help most. you will slowly realize your thoughts will be somewhere else for a minute longer, then maybe 10, and even for an hour. 
loss is a natural part of life. and feeling the way you do is absolutely normal. i find when i'm feeling very low, and depressed it helps to write when i don't have anyone to talk to. this place is great because you can get feedback. so you have already got a great start. but even writing for yourself and going back and reading what you have written helps. it makes you cry, it makes you angry, it makes you sad... but those are all feelings that need to be released. 
the most important thing is that you will get through it. but now you need to grief, and that is just a step of the healing process.
stay strong, keep your head up, and always remember that this girl who loved you so much would want you to be happy, so do something everyday to make you happy, because that is what she would want for you. buy yourself some cake, or a gift, or get a massage.. whatever works for you

GOOD LUCK!!
and let us know how you are doing!
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