i'm only a young girl yet. turned 16 this past march. and i've attempted suicide twice last year. i was raised in a very religious home. and after 15 years i couldn't stand it any more. never being allowed the be angry without suffering punishment etc made me turn into a very rebelious and awfully irratable person. i have so much stress in my life right now every day waking up with a jolt as i hear my mums footsteps coming down the hall. and till i fall asleep at night, my day and even dreams are filled with self hatred and anxiety. i am so troubled with my weight at times i overdose on pills and do extreme workouts to make up. the thing about it is, when i'm depressed i tend to eat, and then i get even worse depressed because i'm eating. and it is just a vicious cycle. some times i'll go days without eating, until i see spots and potentially don't have enough strength to stand up any more, and then of course i must eat some thing because i have my daily chores and duties to accomplish yet. but my biggest question is. is life even worth it? i cannot stand myself. my reflection in the mirror is completely revolting. and after a while i just don't understand why i have to live day in and day out with such hatred and anger and stress and uhh. the list is endless....
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Hello pal,
Suicide is not a solution on the problems you have come over from it and prove your self that you are not coward...
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You have your whole life ahead of you yet, you haven't even lived a quarter of your life!! Suicide and self hate should not haunt your thoughts. Please, seek someone to talk to. I'm happy to talk to you if you like. I know what weight problems are like, and also attempting suicide. I attempted overdose twice and almost succeeded, but my stomach was pumped before I had the chance to let go.. I am a 15 year old girl, but I believe I can help you. I have fought weight problems, parental pressure, and self hate. I had really long, curly hair, everyone loved it. Well last year I cut it all off in a rage. I thought I was ugly, I thought I was useless, I thought no one cared about me. But you are all that matters. Who defines beauty? Who made skinny socially acceptable? Please. Just talk to someone. It may seem too simple to help such a big problem, but you will be surprised what asking for help can do.
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You need to seek counseling as soon as possible. That being said depression and anxiety are closely related and are very self sustainable to the point of debilitation. You eat because you are unhappy and you are unhappy because you eat... etc etc. This self sustaining pattern never stops without interruption with depression and anxiety but suicide is NEVER the answer. These conditions are highly treatable but intervention is absolutely necessary. Please get some assistance. I'm sure any of us here would be happy to assist you in any way we can. Best to you!!
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Careful on the choices you make. I was raised the same way and I am now happy with life and love it but was not for a long time. My being forced into religion with my parents caused me to become a druggie hooked speed, cocaine anything I could get my hands on basically. I became very slutty, sleeping with everyone. I got completely hammered all the time, blacking out and not remembering whom I slept with but only seeing condoms beside me so knew I slept with someone. Disgusting! Hated myself but I never did think about offing myself. Just letting you know it's normal and life gets way better as you age and leave your house, home and church, if that's what you want.
This forum site is for you get advice or for someone to talk to - make use of it. We don't judge, we don't assume - we let you be you. Hope this helps
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Honey, I am on board with Lizardqueen (below). We do not judge, rather give you hope. Please please think about this and ask for help. I have a daughter that also at the age of 14/15 was being bullied at school and attempted to take her life. I was devastated that as her mother I didn't recognize the symptoms before it was almost to late. Since that time, we have become closer than ever and together found a path for her that suited her needs and played on her strengths in life. She has found passion in helping animals and finding homes for them. She is now 21 and doing much better. Find your strength in life. If you need help getting there, talk to someone. There are lots of people that don't even know you that are willing to do that. I am also one that is ready to listen, not judge and help you.
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