I too would like to thank sbb1965 for what must have been a very painful story to write. Thank you for your candor and objectivity.
I found out today that I have had a missed abortion at nine weeks. The fetus stopped developing at six. Something similar happened a few years ago and I needed to be reminded of the process before making a decision as to what to do next.
Losing a pregnancy in your bathroom is an extremely upsetting, graphic, heart-wrenching ordeal. For those who say a hospital setting is a bad way to say goodbye - dealing with it in your own home can be just as traumatic.
In this instance I will opt for the D&C. It is horrible either way and I am crushed - but for my personal mental health I cannot let this drag on for days. I also have a toddler from whom I wish to spare my pain.
I would never tell another woman what to do with her own body, but for anyone here like me just comparing stories, my opinion is that the medical option is a good one for those who do not want to dwell or be left what can be some very upsetting images.
(to clarify, I never saw anything that looked even slightly like a baby, but there were certainly large clots, a sac, and evidence that I had been pregnant. i could not bear to investigate further.)
Of course we will never forget, and it is an unimaginable loss - but if you have truly lost the pregnancy one needs to think about what will help the mother heal and move on most easily (this will be different for everyone). At least that is what I'm telling myself today.
I found out today that I have had a missed abortion at nine weeks. The fetus stopped developing at six. Something similar happened a few years ago and I needed to be reminded of the process before making a decision as to what to do next.
Losing a pregnancy in your bathroom is an extremely upsetting, graphic, heart-wrenching ordeal. For those who say a hospital setting is a bad way to say goodbye - dealing with it in your own home can be just as traumatic.
In this instance I will opt for the D&C. It is horrible either way and I am crushed - but for my personal mental health I cannot let this drag on for days. I also have a toddler from whom I wish to spare my pain.
I would never tell another woman what to do with her own body, but for anyone here like me just comparing stories, my opinion is that the medical option is a good one for those who do not want to dwell or be left what can be some very upsetting images.
(to clarify, I never saw anything that looked even slightly like a baby, but there were certainly large clots, a sac, and evidence that I had been pregnant. i could not bear to investigate further.)
Of course we will never forget, and it is an unimaginable loss - but if you have truly lost the pregnancy one needs to think about what will help the mother heal and move on most easily (this will be different for everyone). At least that is what I'm telling myself today.
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I just found out my baby's heart is not beating and the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks (Should have been nearly 8 weeks). It was our first, and we're devastated. It's helpful to read your posts, but I still don't know what to do. My problem is we're going out of town, and it scares me not knowing when or where the bleeding will start. We're supposed to be staying with my parents and then my husband's parents, before meeting up with friends at a rented cabin for New Years. I want to be with my family and friends over the holidays, but none of them know I was pregnant. This is all just so hard. If I took the medicine today or tomorrow, how long would it take? Is it worth waiting a week and getting a second ultrasound? My doctor made it seem like having a second ultrasound would just be to help me through the grief and that there isn't a chance for the fetus to be viable, but part of me worries that they could be wrong and then I'd be killing my baby by taking the medicine. Is there much chance of this? Any feedback would be helpful. Thanks.
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Hello Ladies,
First of all thank you for sharing your experiences and my heart feels for everyone of you who has lost a baby.
I found all of your experiences reassuring as i am recovering from a missed - abortion/misscarrige.
Im English living in Norway - where instead of a D&C they give you the tablets to induce labour. I was 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant when i had a sharp (stabbing pain) followed by a noticeable feel of blood loss (a panty liner full). I was given an internal scan where it was confirmed that my baby had died / stoped developing at 6-7 weeks. I was given tablets & pain killers to take at home, with the info that i would bleed heavily, and to take things easy. I went home, followed the doctors advice, took tablets and waited.
2 hours after taking tablets (at 5pm) i was on the toilet experiencing minimal pain (but i do have a high pain threshold), heavy blood loss, and large clots from the size of an egg to the size of my palm. if i padded up i would of had to change every few minutes.
(we called the hospital 3 times during this time as we were concerned with the amount of blood loss, we were told it is very normal)
By 9pm - blood flow slow down enough to pad up, so i was changing every 30 minutes. By 11pm - i had began to pass out (fainting)and my husband took me back to the hospital where i was admitted - the tablets had worked "to well" and everything (baby, sac etc) had come away and was now sitting in my lower womb/cirvix, the OBGYN had to manually remove everything, I was on a IV drip and i had to have a blood tranfusion due to the amount of blood that i had lost. In the morning was re-examined to make sure everything had been removed and was allowed home.
Nearly 2 weeks on im still bleeding very lightly, my energy levels/hormones are very up and down. It is my personal opinion that if i was to ever go through this again i would opt for a D&C.
Sorry to everyone for your losses, and i wish you all well for the future.
First of all thank you for sharing your experiences and my heart feels for everyone of you who has lost a baby.
I found all of your experiences reassuring as i am recovering from a missed - abortion/misscarrige.
Im English living in Norway - where instead of a D&C they give you the tablets to induce labour. I was 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant when i had a sharp (stabbing pain) followed by a noticeable feel of blood loss (a panty liner full). I was given an internal scan where it was confirmed that my baby had died / stoped developing at 6-7 weeks. I was given tablets & pain killers to take at home, with the info that i would bleed heavily, and to take things easy. I went home, followed the doctors advice, took tablets and waited.
2 hours after taking tablets (at 5pm) i was on the toilet experiencing minimal pain (but i do have a high pain threshold), heavy blood loss, and large clots from the size of an egg to the size of my palm. if i padded up i would of had to change every few minutes.
(we called the hospital 3 times during this time as we were concerned with the amount of blood loss, we were told it is very normal)
By 9pm - blood flow slow down enough to pad up, so i was changing every 30 minutes. By 11pm - i had began to pass out (fainting)and my husband took me back to the hospital where i was admitted - the tablets had worked "to well" and everything (baby, sac etc) had come away and was now sitting in my lower womb/cirvix, the OBGYN had to manually remove everything, I was on a IV drip and i had to have a blood tranfusion due to the amount of blood that i had lost. In the morning was re-examined to make sure everything had been removed and was allowed home.
Nearly 2 weeks on im still bleeding very lightly, my energy levels/hormones are very up and down. It is my personal opinion that if i was to ever go through this again i would opt for a D&C.
Sorry to everyone for your losses, and i wish you all well for the future.
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Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story.
I suffered a delayed miscarriage last May. I began bleeding, at 16 weeks weeks, I went in only to have the doctor tell me that the baby hadn't grown at all and she STILL didn't see a heartbeat...a little fact she failed to mention, at the last appointment.
Yup, that's right. She never saw a heartbeat and the baby measured exactly as it had at the first appointment...meaning that it had probably died by the time that first appointment took place. Nice. Having just been informed that I had, more likely than not, been carrying an inviable fetus for over a month, I did chose to have a D&C. In fact, I demanded it be done sooner than the original "sometime next week" my doctor offered, and it was scheduled for the following morning. I was directed not to eat or drink anything past midnight and sent home. Unfortunately, nature finally decided to take its course that night and I miscarried. It was, by far, the most excruciating experience I"ve ever had....I've had kidney stones and they were mild cramps, in comparison.
To boot, I could not take anything for the pain because I didn't know whether it would be a complete miscarriage or whether I would still need the D&C.....although, after 8 hours of, what felt like, being gutted, I couldn't believe my intestines were still in place, let alone a fetus. I was right and no D&C was needed. My doctor announced this info with a cheerful "Oh, that's excellent. Good for you"...demonstrating her awesome social skills matched her medical competence.
My emotions and psychological state were always the center of concern. At no time did anyone prepare me for the physical pain of miscarriage, nor acknowledged that pain after the fact. It is true that the emotional devastation is very real and very painful....and, sadly, it cannot be avoided or controlled. The physical pain of natural miscarriage can, in many cases, be avoided and women should be given enough honest information to make a choice.
I suffered a delayed miscarriage last May. I began bleeding, at 16 weeks weeks, I went in only to have the doctor tell me that the baby hadn't grown at all and she STILL didn't see a heartbeat...a little fact she failed to mention, at the last appointment.
Yup, that's right. She never saw a heartbeat and the baby measured exactly as it had at the first appointment...meaning that it had probably died by the time that first appointment took place. Nice. Having just been informed that I had, more likely than not, been carrying an inviable fetus for over a month, I did chose to have a D&C. In fact, I demanded it be done sooner than the original "sometime next week" my doctor offered, and it was scheduled for the following morning. I was directed not to eat or drink anything past midnight and sent home. Unfortunately, nature finally decided to take its course that night and I miscarried. It was, by far, the most excruciating experience I"ve ever had....I've had kidney stones and they were mild cramps, in comparison.
To boot, I could not take anything for the pain because I didn't know whether it would be a complete miscarriage or whether I would still need the D&C.....although, after 8 hours of, what felt like, being gutted, I couldn't believe my intestines were still in place, let alone a fetus. I was right and no D&C was needed. My doctor announced this info with a cheerful "Oh, that's excellent. Good for you"...demonstrating her awesome social skills matched her medical competence.
My emotions and psychological state were always the center of concern. At no time did anyone prepare me for the physical pain of miscarriage, nor acknowledged that pain after the fact. It is true that the emotional devastation is very real and very painful....and, sadly, it cannot be avoided or controlled. The physical pain of natural miscarriage can, in many cases, be avoided and women should be given enough honest information to make a choice.
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Thank you all for sharing. I went in for my almost 10 weeks ultrasound2 days ago and the doctor turne dthe screen away. I asked him if everything was okay and he said "no actually it is not". He explained that we should be at 22mm but were at 16mm. I thought "well so what if the baby is short - as long as it is healthy". I said "that is not so bad is it?" and he said "its heart has stopped beating. about 4-5 days ago". I nearly died. I started to kind of choke cry.
Anyway he explained the details and spoke to me at length about the fact that nothing I had done had contributed to this. I have a healthy 10 month old baby at home (that took 4 years to conceive) and no previous miscarriages. as he explained that it was probably a chromosomal error I was devastated.
He advised that I would need an operation to have it removed. I was not aware of the various natural options. He mentioned that we could just leave it but that it could result in infection and scheduled the D&C for yesterday. I drove home crying and told my husband and we were crying in bed for hours and hours. I did not sleep even for a second knowing that they would take my baby away from me in the morning.
We got to the clinic and the doctor was extremely kind. He also conducted an ultrasound and confirmed death (again I felt as though i had died as I still had hopes that it would be okay.. although my OB had warned me not to be hopeful as there was no chance at this point). They then took me to pre-op. Then I was whelled into a surgical room and put in stirrups. I was crying a lot. Needles, anasthesia.. choking.. Doctor said "have a nice dream" (that made me really angry just before I passed out) and then I woke up whilst being wheeled to ecovery 10 mins later. My husband was there waiting for me and we both started crying. I was quite hysterical and begged to see the remains. They advised against it but eventually brought me the small tube which my husband and I held and cried and cried for over an hour. We spoke to it and told it we loved it. I think this helped us.
During the operation I dreamed that i was holding a gorgeous baby girl with dark curly hair and throwing her in the air.
As th operation was only yesterday I am still totally devastated. I have been wailing and crying intermittently. I've been told to take the next 1-2 weeks off work but ma wondering if I should just go to work to distract myself. I have not told anyone but probably should. My sister was visiting from overseas when I found out i was expecting and I told her. Now I need to call her during her vacation (I think he boyfriend is going to propose) and tell her that I lost the baby. I can't make the call.
I have never felt so devastated in my life. I am still not sure if it would have helped to let it pass naturally. Either way.. the night before last I was happy to at least know that my little angel was inside me for one last night. I can't believe it (she?) is gone. I told her remains that despite her short little life.. her father and I loved her like crazy and that we will always keep her in our heart. I think the hardest thing is that I had seen the heartbeat and I have 2 little photos of her.. she was due April 25th next year and is now gone forever. I miss her like crazy and can't imagine how on earth I can get on with my life. I am so upset there are no words. My poor little baby... I can't believe it did not make it... it would have been so desperately well loved :-(
Anyway he explained the details and spoke to me at length about the fact that nothing I had done had contributed to this. I have a healthy 10 month old baby at home (that took 4 years to conceive) and no previous miscarriages. as he explained that it was probably a chromosomal error I was devastated.
He advised that I would need an operation to have it removed. I was not aware of the various natural options. He mentioned that we could just leave it but that it could result in infection and scheduled the D&C for yesterday. I drove home crying and told my husband and we were crying in bed for hours and hours. I did not sleep even for a second knowing that they would take my baby away from me in the morning.
We got to the clinic and the doctor was extremely kind. He also conducted an ultrasound and confirmed death (again I felt as though i had died as I still had hopes that it would be okay.. although my OB had warned me not to be hopeful as there was no chance at this point). They then took me to pre-op. Then I was whelled into a surgical room and put in stirrups. I was crying a lot. Needles, anasthesia.. choking.. Doctor said "have a nice dream" (that made me really angry just before I passed out) and then I woke up whilst being wheeled to ecovery 10 mins later. My husband was there waiting for me and we both started crying. I was quite hysterical and begged to see the remains. They advised against it but eventually brought me the small tube which my husband and I held and cried and cried for over an hour. We spoke to it and told it we loved it. I think this helped us.
During the operation I dreamed that i was holding a gorgeous baby girl with dark curly hair and throwing her in the air.
As th operation was only yesterday I am still totally devastated. I have been wailing and crying intermittently. I've been told to take the next 1-2 weeks off work but ma wondering if I should just go to work to distract myself. I have not told anyone but probably should. My sister was visiting from overseas when I found out i was expecting and I told her. Now I need to call her during her vacation (I think he boyfriend is going to propose) and tell her that I lost the baby. I can't make the call.
I have never felt so devastated in my life. I am still not sure if it would have helped to let it pass naturally. Either way.. the night before last I was happy to at least know that my little angel was inside me for one last night. I can't believe it (she?) is gone. I told her remains that despite her short little life.. her father and I loved her like crazy and that we will always keep her in our heart. I think the hardest thing is that I had seen the heartbeat and I have 2 little photos of her.. she was due April 25th next year and is now gone forever. I miss her like crazy and can't imagine how on earth I can get on with my life. I am so upset there are no words. My poor little baby... I can't believe it did not make it... it would have been so desperately well loved :-(
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I want to thank everyone for these post. I can only imagine the difficult times that you all are going through and I wish you all the best as you deal with this. I found out last night that my sister, who has two kids and has done multiple serrogate pregnancies, had a miscarriage. It didn't begin to effect me emotionally till around lunch time today and I just wanted to break down. Now I am terrified for her and her houshold, but I am also terrified for my own. My wife and I have talked about having children and since I am the only male child in my generation, I have an obligation to continue the family line. I will keep an eye on this forum, but I would like to see some husbands comment. I am having some difficulty getting this out of my mind, and I would like to know what some men do when they have to sit and watch this happen. I know that I am very protective not only of my wife, but also of my four sisters. I know that the women here are doing their best to cope with this, but please remember that the men in your life may be feeling that they failed in some way, like I know I would feel if my wife were to ever go through this.
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I want to encourage everyone who reads these posts to really consider going the natural route. I had a d&c a year ago and now suffer from adenomyosis. Adenomyosis is endometriosis of the uterus. The best description is that it is uterine trauma that may break the barrier between the endometrium and myometrium and then allows for the lining of the uterus (endometrium) to invade the muscle tissue (myometrium) of the uterus during your period. So instead of expelling the lining during your period, your uterus is reaborbing it. If you are in doubt about going the natural route read into this condition and then decide. Since my d&c I had another miscarriage, which was natural and I have been kicking myself ever since for not choosing the natural route the first time. It is uncomfortable and at times painful but it does not equal the pain from the d&c, also not to mention the act of experiencing the miscarriage helped me complete the grieving process. I hope that this helps somebody.
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Hi I wanted to tell everyone here, "WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK WE ARE ". To go through a m/c naturally is so upsetting but to do it three times its just terrible...........
I have had three miscarriages now, i was 9weeks on the 17th DEC 2010, i had started bleeding so i went to get a ultrasound just to see if the baby was okay, and i had a strong heartbeat 173 beat a minute they said i was so happy i didn't want to go through another miscarriage,BUT the next evening i was bleeding heavy and went to hospital and yes i had or was miscarrying again number three but i had one m/c then i had my boy in 2007 then another m/c in 2009 and now this one but i am not not going to give up i am 37 and i just want one more baby more because i don't want to be 70 years old and always wondering the what if's and also for me and for the three i have lost.
i hope anyone who reads this understands how i am thinking because some days i think i am being silly.
i am trying again in Feb 2011 i have a good doctor this time they are going to put me in blood clotting drugs and check my blood before and during, see i had all the tests i got my blood tests done in may 2010 to check if i had a thyroid problem because if your thyroid is not working well then you will m/c the baby needs yours for the first 10weeks, then i went on the pregnancy vitamin tablets i got my blood tests checked again in Sept 2010 just to make sure everything was okay and it was, i stopped smoking and i stopped eating all the foods you shouldn't eat sandwich ham cream,cheese, milk drinks ,coffee and i cooked everything until burn.
but i still lost my baby, but i am not going to give up will let you know what happen thanks cas
I have had three miscarriages now, i was 9weeks on the 17th DEC 2010, i had started bleeding so i went to get a ultrasound just to see if the baby was okay, and i had a strong heartbeat 173 beat a minute they said i was so happy i didn't want to go through another miscarriage,BUT the next evening i was bleeding heavy and went to hospital and yes i had or was miscarrying again number three but i had one m/c then i had my boy in 2007 then another m/c in 2009 and now this one but i am not not going to give up i am 37 and i just want one more baby more because i don't want to be 70 years old and always wondering the what if's and also for me and for the three i have lost.
i hope anyone who reads this understands how i am thinking because some days i think i am being silly.
i am trying again in Feb 2011 i have a good doctor this time they are going to put me in blood clotting drugs and check my blood before and during, see i had all the tests i got my blood tests done in may 2010 to check if i had a thyroid problem because if your thyroid is not working well then you will m/c the baby needs yours for the first 10weeks, then i went on the pregnancy vitamin tablets i got my blood tests checked again in Sept 2010 just to make sure everything was okay and it was, i stopped smoking and i stopped eating all the foods you shouldn't eat sandwich ham cream,cheese, milk drinks ,coffee and i cooked everything until burn.
but i still lost my baby, but i am not going to give up will let you know what happen thanks cas
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Please help.....today i had my scanning ..and the doc said its missed abortion but from 3 days i am having slight bleeding....the doc dint advice me properly..i dont want to go to her again.....can i take any tablet ....its just 4 weeks and 4 days....i want the reoly toay itself.
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I am going through a miscarriage as we speak. The process almost mirrors that of the poster to a "t." I'm 41.
A few notes:
A. I had an early ultrasound, at what I thought should have been seven/eight weeks. The fetus measured at 4 1/2 weeks, which was really odd. The timing was way off. My last menstrual period was March 26th. I typically have 31 day cycles.
B. Doc wanted to see me the following week to see if the pregnancy was viable-- another ultrasound. This time the fetus measured 5 1/2 weeks (growing) AND we saw/heard the fetal heartbeat via regular ultrasound. The heartbeat was 108 BPM.
C. Four days later, a Sunday, I had what I can only describe as brown stringy and mucous-like discharge -- no pain, no cramps. This happened at around 2:00pm. I decided to wait until the next day to call the Doc. He said not to worry. It could be normal- old blood, etc. But at 6:00 that evening, I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding, this time bright red. We hightailed to the Doc, to confirm I had, indeed, lost the pregnancy – no heartbeat, the fetus was unrecognizable as being a fetus.
The process I have experienced so far goes like this:
Day 1: Brown Discharge, 2:00 pm, Sunday
Day 2: Bleeding, 6:00 pm, confirmation of pregnancy loss-- around six weeks along
Day 3, 4,5: Light spotting, no cramps
Day 6: Friday. Here's where it gets horrible. I passed clots, about three or four, that would fit in the palm of my hand. Also, tons of blood. It was terrifying. Some of the tissue looked "furry/strings." I assume this was chorionic villi??? There was no pain, and I hoped the process had ended. But I was wrong.
Day 7: Saturday. Woke up at 4:00 in the morning with severe cramps/uterine contractions, which didn't stop until 11:00 am. The pain wasn't as bad as breaking a bone, but it really knocked the wind out of me. During this time I passed two "fleshy" looking tissues. One was HUGE. On further inspection, I know GROSS, I found it to be stretchy and rubbery, almost like chicken skin. The color was dark--bloody and there may have been air bubbles. Really, I have no clue. I'm not sure if I passed the gestational sac, but considering my experience has been like the other poster, I'm assuming that will come next. Since 11:00 (it is now 1:35) I've had a few smaller clots and some blood. My back is still sore and I'm having some cramps---but not like before!!!
One thing to note: I've barely bled on a pad. Every time I felt "something," I'd race to the bathroom--and the tissues, clots and blood, would expel in the toilet.
I would have liked to know what to expect before this started happening, to have been prepared for the past two days, but not too many people go into detail...for obvious reasons. I'll pop back in with "the end" and hopefully soon...
A few notes:
A. I had an early ultrasound, at what I thought should have been seven/eight weeks. The fetus measured at 4 1/2 weeks, which was really odd. The timing was way off. My last menstrual period was March 26th. I typically have 31 day cycles.
B. Doc wanted to see me the following week to see if the pregnancy was viable-- another ultrasound. This time the fetus measured 5 1/2 weeks (growing) AND we saw/heard the fetal heartbeat via regular ultrasound. The heartbeat was 108 BPM.
C. Four days later, a Sunday, I had what I can only describe as brown stringy and mucous-like discharge -- no pain, no cramps. This happened at around 2:00pm. I decided to wait until the next day to call the Doc. He said not to worry. It could be normal- old blood, etc. But at 6:00 that evening, I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding, this time bright red. We hightailed to the Doc, to confirm I had, indeed, lost the pregnancy – no heartbeat, the fetus was unrecognizable as being a fetus.
The process I have experienced so far goes like this:
Day 1: Brown Discharge, 2:00 pm, Sunday
Day 2: Bleeding, 6:00 pm, confirmation of pregnancy loss-- around six weeks along
Day 3, 4,5: Light spotting, no cramps
Day 6: Friday. Here's where it gets horrible. I passed clots, about three or four, that would fit in the palm of my hand. Also, tons of blood. It was terrifying. Some of the tissue looked "furry/strings." I assume this was chorionic villi??? There was no pain, and I hoped the process had ended. But I was wrong.
Day 7: Saturday. Woke up at 4:00 in the morning with severe cramps/uterine contractions, which didn't stop until 11:00 am. The pain wasn't as bad as breaking a bone, but it really knocked the wind out of me. During this time I passed two "fleshy" looking tissues. One was HUGE. On further inspection, I know GROSS, I found it to be stretchy and rubbery, almost like chicken skin. The color was dark--bloody and there may have been air bubbles. Really, I have no clue. I'm not sure if I passed the gestational sac, but considering my experience has been like the other poster, I'm assuming that will come next. Since 11:00 (it is now 1:35) I've had a few smaller clots and some blood. My back is still sore and I'm having some cramps---but not like before!!!
One thing to note: I've barely bled on a pad. Every time I felt "something," I'd race to the bathroom--and the tissues, clots and blood, would expel in the toilet.
I would have liked to know what to expect before this started happening, to have been prepared for the past two days, but not too many people go into detail...for obvious reasons. I'll pop back in with "the end" and hopefully soon...
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I just went through my first miscarriage (and loss of first baby) at 9w2d. I was charting and observed my pregnancy signs faded around the 5-6 week mark - they didn't disappear, but the intensity defintely dropped off. The first signs of trouble were the ultrasounds. I had one at 6w1d which just showed a small gestational sac. The technician and radiologist didn't seem concerned, just seemed to think I was off with my dates of last period. I then had another ultrasound at 7w5d and that one showed a yolk sac but not fetus. Again, the technician just thought I was off on my dates but since I was charting I knew when I had ovulated etc and the dating I was being given for the fetus put me as having concieved 3 days after my first BFP!
I was scheduled for another ultrasound at 8w5d, but for reasons unknown, they pushed it back to 9w4d. On the evening of the day I SHOULD have had the ultrasound, I had a bad cramp (for me - I don't cramp much ever) - felt like someone was poking me very hard in the uterus for about 10 minutes!
Around 4am the next morning, I awoke to find a splodge of brown blood in my panty liner. As I had not spotted throughout the entire pregnancy so far, I didn't think this was good. In addition, there was a what felt like a long gentle pressure along my lower abdoman. I went to work that day and the gentle cramping came and went but nothing else.
That night, I wiped with TP to come away with thick brown clots and brown discharge. This increased so that by the following morning, I was leaking brown discharge through a pad every 3-4 hours, and every time, I wiped, there were dark black clots. I still hoped this was just some exceptional spotting at this stage...
However, on Day 3 since that first low cramp, I was now having the low gentle abdominal c**p almost continously and I began to bleed bright brick red amongst the dark brown discharge. The clots continued to come out. That night when I went to the bathroom, I saw a dark red clot in my pad with yellow tissue as well. I knew this was a miscarriage now and there was no hope.
The following day I continued to discharge dark brown stuff, if I had a sharper cramp, then I knew within an hour it would be brick red bleeding for a bit, and the clots kept on coming. That night it felt like my uterus was slowly inflating... and inflating and I thought something really ominous must be brewing! But in the end, when I went to the toilet, I suddenly felt some stuff just slide painlessly out of me, and when I looked in the toilet, there were some browny-grey pieces of tissue about the size of a quarter. When I wiped, there were dark clots as well as some yellowish tissue with fluid in it (but only about 1cm in size). The low abdominal cramp continued for about another 2 hours after that, but the clots stopped coming out of me.
After that, bleeding continued for another few days, but it was very light in comparison.
I personally am glad I had a natural miscarriage in the end - not happy it happened though (I think I cried more tears then I shed blood...)! But I think not being sure for a month while the body reabsorbed some tissue (I guess???) etc made the actual miscarriage easier as I didn't have any distressing large bits come out of me, and certainly didn't have any painful cramping. Would I go through the same thing if I had been more advanced and the baby more developed and possibly larger? I don't know... I might have wanted a D&C then. But at my age, I fear I have few cycles left to concieve so was glad I didn't have to choose this time as I didn't want to run the risk of scarring of the uterus and further hampering future attempts to bring a healthy baby into this world!
I was scheduled for another ultrasound at 8w5d, but for reasons unknown, they pushed it back to 9w4d. On the evening of the day I SHOULD have had the ultrasound, I had a bad cramp (for me - I don't cramp much ever) - felt like someone was poking me very hard in the uterus for about 10 minutes!
Around 4am the next morning, I awoke to find a splodge of brown blood in my panty liner. As I had not spotted throughout the entire pregnancy so far, I didn't think this was good. In addition, there was a what felt like a long gentle pressure along my lower abdoman. I went to work that day and the gentle cramping came and went but nothing else.
That night, I wiped with TP to come away with thick brown clots and brown discharge. This increased so that by the following morning, I was leaking brown discharge through a pad every 3-4 hours, and every time, I wiped, there were dark black clots. I still hoped this was just some exceptional spotting at this stage...
However, on Day 3 since that first low cramp, I was now having the low gentle abdominal c**p almost continously and I began to bleed bright brick red amongst the dark brown discharge. The clots continued to come out. That night when I went to the bathroom, I saw a dark red clot in my pad with yellow tissue as well. I knew this was a miscarriage now and there was no hope.
The following day I continued to discharge dark brown stuff, if I had a sharper cramp, then I knew within an hour it would be brick red bleeding for a bit, and the clots kept on coming. That night it felt like my uterus was slowly inflating... and inflating and I thought something really ominous must be brewing! But in the end, when I went to the toilet, I suddenly felt some stuff just slide painlessly out of me, and when I looked in the toilet, there were some browny-grey pieces of tissue about the size of a quarter. When I wiped, there were dark clots as well as some yellowish tissue with fluid in it (but only about 1cm in size). The low abdominal cramp continued for about another 2 hours after that, but the clots stopped coming out of me.
After that, bleeding continued for another few days, but it was very light in comparison.
I personally am glad I had a natural miscarriage in the end - not happy it happened though (I think I cried more tears then I shed blood...)! But I think not being sure for a month while the body reabsorbed some tissue (I guess???) etc made the actual miscarriage easier as I didn't have any distressing large bits come out of me, and certainly didn't have any painful cramping. Would I go through the same thing if I had been more advanced and the baby more developed and possibly larger? I don't know... I might have wanted a D&C then. But at my age, I fear I have few cycles left to concieve so was glad I didn't have to choose this time as I didn't want to run the risk of scarring of the uterus and further hampering future attempts to bring a healthy baby into this world!
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Hello Stormygyrl,
I went to Google to find out more about missed abortion miscarriages and found your post. Not sure if you will even view my response as over a year has passed since your post. By the off chance that you do read this, I have to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO CANDID.
Two days ago, during my 11th week ultrasound, I was told that my baby's heart stopped beating at approximately 8.5 weeks and that I was experiencing a missed miscarriage. I was told that I could schedule a D&C or allow the process to take place naturally. Initially, I told the nurse I wanted to allow the miscarriage to happen naturally because there are potential risks involved with the D&C procedure. But I must say that after reading your post, I quickly changed my mind. I don't want to experience the extreme pain or have the bloody, messy memories.
Again, I thank you for sharing your experience. It has truly helped me make a difficult decision. I also agree that this rule about not discussing miscarriages is ridiculous. It's a personal experience and should you choose not to discuss the matter, then that's your choice. But for many women, like myself, the pain of keeping the secret is more hurtful than just opening up and allowing others to support you during your loss. If you delivered a healthy baby, that later died, your family and friends would support you. Why should it be any different when you have a miscarriage? While I didn't broadcast my pregnancy to the world, I did tell my immediate family and closest friends and it's so good to have their support during this difficult time.
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Thank you for posting this. I just recently went through the same experience, yet this was my first pregnancy and I am young. I had so many questions for my doctors but no one had the right answer for me. I began bleeding the same day I was told that my sac was empty and I had lost my baby or that it had never formed. I began haviing extreme pain and blacking out 5 days later and had excessive bleeding, and the next day passed the sac which I too was amazed by the size, and was scared to death about everything that has happened. This post helps me know that I am not alone, and knowing the emotional toll, my condolences to you and your family, but again I thank you for your help.
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i also had the same thing happen almost two weeks ago and i am still looking fo ransweres the hardest part is not crying when i see people who are pregnant or my friends who are pregnant and they havent even been as cautious as i was....i know its really hard but i promise everything happens for a reason and my husband and i are going to wait a little longer before we try again so for now we are going ot do somethings week cant do with kids...i dont know if this helps but it helped me to read your story thank you
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I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I stayed on bedrest for 5 days to try to prevent the miscarriage, but the spotting continued. We were devastated after waiting 7 years to get pregnant due to continuous lay-offs at my husband's company. I miscarried the baby first. The baby looked perfect, about 3 inches long. Arms and legs were proportional and every tiny finger and toe were in place. -So devastated. The baby must have grown until the very last minute. I thought that was all that would happen for some reason. I didn't realize it would be similar to a normal birth with afterbirth because it hadn't been there as long. Maybe I was in emotional shock. So, I went about doing the things I normally would. Later in the day, I got bad cramping and started bleeding and passing large clots and pink tissue pieces. It got worse and worse until the blood was running out. We called the ambulance because the doctor book said that soaking more than one large sized pad per hour could be hemorrhaging. (A pad didn't really even work because of gushing) The doctor said it was a good thing we came in by ambulance. They gave me a D&C. This was a very difficult experience. We wanted a child desperately. It still hurts to write about it, but I became pregnant again three months later and the sorrow began to slowly go away, but it still tugged at my heart to see my 2 friends that had been due in the same month. They couldn't understand what we were going through and I wouldn't have wanted them to. I still missed the baby we had lost, even though another new life was coming. I was so happy for them, but I would always think that my little one would have been the same size and age. I couldn't imagine what good could come out of the experience, but a year later a dear friend went through the same thing, and I was able to advise her to go to the hospital because she lived far out in the country and was bleeding heavily. She might not have made it, without knowing about the 1 pad per hour recommendation. The doctor book also reccommended saving any tissue for analysis, if needed. God bless all of you. There are reasons for things that we won't understand until we get to Heaven. Blessings-KLeeR
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