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Hello, I would like to read other people's opinion about this. This has nothing to do with this problem, but I would like to clarify English is not my first languge, and my writing sometimes may seem a bit... odd.

First, a bit of context.

I am 20 years old, I am Mexican (I live in Mexico) and I study Animation and Digital Arts at University. Often, my mom is difficult to talk with when it comes to be with my boyfriend. We study at the same program at University, and he is 22 years old. We have been dating for half a year. I know it isn´t a lot of time. But there are some attitudes from my moher that bother me. Something I should add is that my parents got divorced (finally! :D) last year.

I live with my mom and my 15 year old sister. I don't work, because I prefer to use my time studying (the University in which I study is very well known in Mexico for being hard and stressfull, I dont't want to add more variables to my life, just take it easy). But ocassionally, someone asks me to do a little animation, and well, then I have money for myself. When I graduate, finding a job, or working as freelance is the first thing I want to do. During the semester, I spend all day at the campus. It is 20 minutes on car from my house.

My boyfriend is a very, very shy person and considers himself as not very social. I don't care about that, I love him the way he is. He lives just a block away from the University. He is not from this city, he is from a city in the coast, but moved here to study. He shares a flat with other two students. My relationship with him is serious.

What I am not particularly happy with is the fact that my mom doesn't allows me to visit him in the flat. Unless my boyfriend's roomies are there, and we are watching movies or playing videogames with a bunch of friends. I understand the reason behind that, blah blah blah, the sex thing. My mom says "it is not right for a girl to be at a boy's home". She allows me to be there, but how I wrote, with friends.

He will go to his parent's house this summer, and invited me there too. I haven't met his parents yet, they live 600km away from my city. Well, my mom won't let me go, because "I haven't met his parents".

For many years, because of my parent's work, I have had a really poor family life. And I feel like I have been grounded all my life. I hardly invite friends to my house because my mom feels bad about the house not being so tidy, for example. If I invite a friend two or three times a year to my house it is a very optimistic situation. We have never go on vacation. No Cable TV, going to the movies four or five times a year, and the list goes on and on.

I would like to enjoy my life as a student, as a friend and as a girlfriend. I am not asking for something ridiculous. I am a good daughter, I have excellent grades, I don't somke, no alcohol, no drugs. I want so many things to do since the divorce, like painting the house, going on vacation with my mom and sister, we all three need to go to a psychologist, be emotionally healthy, having a good time with my boyfriend (and I don't mean sex).

I have told my mom I could take a bus to see my boyfriend. She doesn't approve the public transport, about safety and me being in a horrible bus with strangers. So she always takes me to the place I am going. Driving is another problem. I don't know how to drive. She wants to teach me but she never does.

I know I should be more independent, and proactive. But my mom is a very stressed person. I think she overprotects me. I understand she wants her little daughter to be safe. I don't want to create problems or make her life even more complicated. But she doesn't let me grow up and do my own things. She often is nosy about me and my boyfriend. I understand this reason too: my parents divorced. It is super difficult to talk with my mom. She realy makes a scene about something as simple as taking the bus. I know for a family to work properly, all of us have to help.

Any advice, please? Reasonable mothers? Fellow girls with overprotective parents? Or am I being terribly selfish? I would really appreciate your answers and opinions.


Hi M-Chan, you don't sound like a selfish daughter at all. You sound pretty normal and caring to me, and like you have all been through a lot recently. Your mum does sound protective but it is hard to say if she is being overly protective compared to other mothers in Mexico. but yoy both have very different ideas about what is acceptable for you. You want to grow up and be independent, she wants to protect you from all the bad things that could happen to you. It is hard for parents to let go. They don't want to see you hurt or see you make the mistakes they made. But at some stage they need to let go and learn to trust you. that's probably not much help. Sorry.