Multiple Peronalities/Crazy life ups and downs

Anybody who has taken the drug for over a year has experienced its detrimental effects. My writing has changed so much. Things I once loved are not enjoyable to me when I'm on it. I don't like to read, I can't sit still long enough to watch a movie, my creative writing completely deteriorated. When I'm on it I like math and more logic based subjects and I'm at a serious crossroads because I don't know whether to pursue a major in something I like off of adderall or on it. I went through a lot of the same things you described. I stopped being interested in boys altogether. And then I freaked out at this fact and this little voice in my head began to tell me that I was a lesbian and every time I would think that another girl was pretty the little voice would say "yes, because you're a lesbian." And it would literally drive me crazy because I knew that I wasn't a lesbian yet there was a thing there that kept telling me that I was. One day I got really drunk and broke down to my parents. Can't even imagine what they must have thought. My mom took me to the doctor and guess what they did? Gave me more meds. Lexapro, to be exact. This made things a whole lot better and I was a lot happier in general. My sex drive didn't come back but the voice went away. Then during winter break I went off the lexapro- can't even tell you of the sadness that my life consisted of. I would not leave my house. I also stopped taking my vyvanse or addy because it was the second semester of my senior year, I had already gotten into a top 5 school in the nation and I honestly didn't give a sh*t. I was so apathetic towards everything, I would watch movie after movie and just pretend that the movies were my life. I gained weight. Felt depressed. Basically, life sucked. Then in the summer everything changed. I had been off adderall for a while and I decided to visit my grandparents in Spain. I ate really healthy, read Hemingway all day, lounged around, took naps, went on hikes and honestly, got myself back. I looked beautiful, my thoughts were fluid and I could feel a new sense of invigoration within me that I had not felt for years. I was self-reflective and in control. I wanted to stay like that forever. But... the summer ended and I had to come to f*****g college. At first I was determined to stay off the meds, but after a week in classes that my father forced me to take which I absolutely hated  (Econ, calc, Democracy in Latin America and a Spanish Poetry class) I gave up. Started taking the meds again (vyvanse and adderall) and all of the problems, social insecurities came back. I hated it because I felt like by taking them I was losing potential friends. I was totally focused on my social life and going out although I wasn't happy with either things. My grades ended up totally satisfactory I got all B's and had to drop a class, which coming from me was very disappointing although I did not expect much more with the little work I had put in. In sum, I went home for winter break feeling unhappy about myself academically, socially and everything else. College was a huge let down. I stopped taking the meds during winter break and literally did nothing but sleep and eat for a month. I felt totally apathetic towards everything. It was a total disaster. I gained weight again. My friend came to visit me in Miami and I would not be able to wake up before 3 PM. She had to go to the beach by herself multiple times.