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My husband has been drinkng alcohol for over twenty years. We have been seperated for sixteen months. He claimed he had stopped drinking alcohol for four months, and during that time, he taught i would return home as he stopped but then he continued again as he saw me not returning. the reason for me to leave was that he was abusive, cursing whenever he drinks, and my kids were becoming fearful of his violence. things were bad that we were scared to stay at home.  he went to counselling just for one day, and refused to return,he also claims that he do not have a drinking problem.

I was forced to move out and built my new home. he comes by now and then and still drinks alcohol. during the time i spent with him i was not able to go out shopping, i hardly had friends he would not allow it, i was like at home all the time after work, he would spend all his spare time with friends, he would come home at nights very late, and curse all the time for no reason, i always had breakfast and dinner ready and on time. i got really tired with his behaviour that it was not really worth fighting up with him.

now he is always apologising for his mistakes, and he is not interested in getting help although i keep telling him he need help. he refuses to admit he has a problem. any advise will be greatly appreciated.

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I feel like you did the right thing by taking your life into your own hands and providing your children safer and more comfortable place to live. It probably was the time where you had to turn your energy from him to your and lives of your children because living under constant threat of how will he behave takes a big toll on you and on your children. Are there any family members who could support you in the effort to try him to get a professional help?
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You are already doing the right thing and I'm proud of you. You let him see the kids but you stand firm that unless he gets help he won't get to be with you.  Just keep on taking care of yourself and your kids. Its so wonderful that your kids can look up to you as a strong, independent woman. If your husband wanted you back and wanted his family back then he would get help. He chooses his alcohol over you. Its not your fault, its his. I would give him a time span and if he doesn't get help successfully by then you should file for divorce and then decide on his visitation rights so he can see his kids.
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