I have been dating this man for 5 years, we have had our ups and downs, he mentioned he needed his space once before. I believe he has relationship issues. Every time things are great, he then panics and pushes me away. This time, it came out of the blue, we where great and the next day he was all cold and distant. I think he suffers from mild depression. Any how. I have been by his side for 5 years now, I love him and miss him, and I have been respecting his wishes to give him space. However I miss him, I try not to initiate anything, let him do it, if he wants to see me fine, if he chooses to be intimate fantastic! , But all this is draining me, I also have needs and I need him to be supportive, it seems like when he needs something I have to be there, in the mean time when he has no use for me, he ignores me completely. I hate to ask this question, but is it time to call it quits?
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Perhaps this conversation needs to happen with your bf. All men have relationship issues.. actually, all PEOPLE have relationship issues but honestly, this sounds like something he has to deal with, not you. The most important thing in a relationship is to have your own life. Perhaps you need to get out and fill you're life with activities that don't involve him. The worst thing you can do is place your happiness in his hands. If you allow someone's behaviour and emotional issues to affect your life, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment.
Personally, I would sit down with him and say exactly what you just said. These words you've used show pure concern and are not self-serving in any way. As long as you don't accuse him of neglect directly, I think you have what it takes to get to the bottom of this problem.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and my bf felt the exact way you feel. Alienated, confused and alone. He sat down with me and asked me to get help. Going to a weekly therapy session was the best thing I ever did in my life and I would not be in this relationship (8 years now) if it was not for my treatment. Understand that depression is as confusing for the person going through it as it is for the people on the outside and he may not even realize the distance he has put between you two.
The decision ultimately comes down to you and whether or not you can deal with this in your life. If you love him the way you say you do, then stand by him. He'll thank you in the end. However, if this continues and he keeps making you feel low, you need to seriously consider giving him the ultimatum: either get help, or I'm gone. Tough love sucks but sometimes it's needed. Hopefully this helps get your wheels turning in the direction that's right for you.
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