my boyfriend is he gay or not and why is he getting aroused is it normal???

Hi Dolly

What are your boyfriends reactions when you touch or kiss him does he get aroused as easily as he does when his male friend touches him.

I would think the best case scenario would be that he is bi but he could also be gay.

Is your relationship strong enough that you can ask him directly about his sexuality I think from your post you may already know the answer but if he is gay and prefers to be with his friend it is not fair to you that he is leading you on or possibly cheating on you with another guy.

He can’t change his sexuality or sexual preference and I think you may really need to decide if you are comfortable sharing your boyfriend with another guy.

Tough deal for sure but I think if he is willing asking him directly is worth trying and even if he says there is nothing going on or he is not bi or gay don’t dismiss what you have seen because it very obvious that he is attracted to this guy and turned on by him and what he does.

Good luck.

No the thing is he always talks about girls with his other guy friends and acts tough and manly and he slept with girls. Its just with this friend that he has this weakness and i dont get the reason Does it have to do with seduction ? One more thing is it normal if he puts his hand on my bfs thigh for him to get aroused does a straight guy has such issues thank u

Hi
Okay well being gay or bi is not a weakness or an illness and it does not mean he is being seduced he is attracted to this guy and is easily sexually aroused by what this guy does.
He can act tough and talk nonstop about girls and he can have sex with girls which all indicates he is attracted to girls.
He can and does let this guy touch him and he enjoys it he is defiantly turned on by what this guy does and when someone simply puts their hand on your leg and it gives you an erection it is perfectly normal if you’re gay or bi straight guys don’t get turned on by the touch of another guy straight guys tend to not let other guys touch them between the legs.
I would think your boyfriend is bi sexual it may be something that he tries very hard to cover up when he is with his other friends and it is something that he may have to come to terms with.
I know this is not what you want to hear and believe me it does not mean there is something wrong with him and he is not being seduced.
He is the one that knows the answer to your question and I can’t tell you if asked how he would answer it we have come a long way but for many people it is still difficult and not acceptable to be open and honest about their sexuality.
This is just my opinion based on what you have said.

I know its not its something normal but why does he only let this guy touch him and recently i noticed that he seems to smack him on his behind 

and again i get from what uve said that a straight guy shouldnt get aroused if a man touches his leg ? 

One more thing the other day i saw his friend kissing him all over his body and his hands and he didnt seem that happy about it and asked him to stop

im confused i dont know what to do ? 

Hi Dolly
I know this is causing you a great deal of stress and I wish you I could tell you what you are hoping to hear.
Maybe you answering some questions may help shed some light on things.
How committed is your boyfriend to your relationship he is openly doing these things in front of you?
Would you accept this kind of stuff if he was doing it with another girl?
When being kissed all over by this guy was he not so happy because you were there?
If they are doing this sort of stuff when your there what goes on when you’re not there?
Again a straight guy does not let another guy kiss him all over.
If this was a onetime isolated thing one could say they were just fooling around a bit but it sounds like this happens a lot.
There can be many things that could be overlooked and maybe even explained but with a guy there is a body part that clearly shows what a guy likes and what turns him on and you have noticed what this guy does to him and how it affects him.
So bottom line I think he is sexually attracted to this guy and most definitely sexually aroused by his touch and I would think when he was being kissed by him the evidence was there showing how much he liked it.
How old is your boyfriend?
There are many guys that experiment with same sex relationships when they are young but I think in this case there is more to it than just curiosity.
Again this is just my opinion and my concern is for you your boyfriend should not be doing this kind of stuff with guys or other girls if he is committed to the relationship he has with you.
It is unfortunate that he does this stuff with you there and does not seem to care about your feeling and how these behaviours make you feel.
So last question is it time to let him and this guy do their thing and you move on and find a boyfriend that will treat you properly and treat you the way you deserve to be treated?
I think you deserve better than this, a good relationship needs to have trust, commitment, mutual respect and so much more and I don’t think your boyfriend is giving any of these things to you.
Good luck.

Hello Ill answer ur questions one by one
Infront of me he doesnt do any of these things, he bearly talks to the guy and doesnt even give him attention but i caught them more than once
My boyfriend is 22 and is sexually active
He doesnt let any boy close to him or even touch him ive heard it from many of his guy friends that he doesnt let them come close to him or anything
Except this guy he lets him do everything but ive seen him more than once try to stop him but he continues doing it and my bf seems to enjoy it
Ive heard them once fight abt it and he stopped touching him but the next week my bf seemed to ask for it one of his friends saw ask this guy to put his seatbelt on touching him all over
Even when they study together my bf cant hold his erection
Dont get me wrong this guy smells like hormones he tries to make my boyfriend jealous and he succeeds ex last week they had a project and this guy came he kissed the two girls working with my bf but didnt kiss my bf so my bf asked for his kiss
I really dont get his behavior but again infront of me he bearly talks or even smiles to the guy its as if he doesnt exist
One last thing my boyfriend seems to have alot of issues hes a bit closed minded and doesnt except gays yet his bestfriend is gay :p and whats weirder is when the other tells him about how he spent the night playing with another guy my bf gets jealous ( ps this other guy is a rival in college they both compete) so i was wondering if it was just about who wins him over more or whats going on btw these two ?
Hope my answers help and thank u sooo much ur the sweetest cz im really confused :/

Hi Dolly
I can sure understand why you’re confused over all this and it must be very stressful at times because I get the impression you have pretty strong feeling for him.
Okay again just my thoughts and opinion, at his age it is most definitely not just curiosity or experimenting.
I think your boyfriend is playing a kind of a game deal when he does this stuff in front of other people I’m thinking he feels most people will dismiss it as him just messing around because his friend is gay not him.
As far as him not being comfortable with or excepting of gay people other than his best friend it could very well be part of the game so people think he is not gay but has a gay friend.
Sometimes the people that are the least accepting and have the most to say against gay people are the ones that are worried about their own sexuality and will go to great lengths to convince themselves and others that they are straight.
I truly believe that sexuality is not a choice and that the choice is to be open and accepting of it or go to great lengths to hide it and do their best to convince themselves and others that they are straight. There are many gay people that have gotten married had families and have gone to great lengths to hide their sexuality.
So I think from what you have said that your boyfriend has very strong feelings toward his best friend that go far beyond what is considered a normal best friend relationship which would also explain being jealous of his best friend being with other guys.
I think your boyfriend clearly knows what his preference is but is not willing to accept it or maybe even explore it beyond the point of him and his friend fooling around the way they do.
It can be very difficult and troubling to come to terms with your sexuality we have come a long way but we still live in a world that can be very judgemental and discriminating against people that are gay or bi.
I can’t tell you if your boyfriend would ever be willing to talk openly and honestly about his sexuality but I think what he does with this guy and the effect it has on him clearly indicate he is gay or bi. He may not want to ever admit it or even accept it but I think he has maybe somewhat unwanted feelings toward this guy but they are beyond his control and he is very attracted to this guy and possibly in love with him even thou he perhaps does not want to be and this is something he will have to come to terms with.
Denial is a pretty powerful coping mechanism but it has absolutely nothing to do with coming to terms with the issue at hand.

Hello something new happened snd im still shocked apparently he asked his friend to move away and that they should have a time out he just informed me and his other friends told me that
I donno im so confused , one day he wants him the other he doesnt
Whats going on ?

Hi Dolly
That is an interesting twist if I had to guess I would think that your boyfriend is well aware of how strong his feelings are for this guy and he is not comfortable with it and he is probably having a hard time to come to terms with it.
He could very well be thinking that if his best friend is not around the temptation won’t be there I still think he is struggling with his sexuality and that spending time away from this guy won’t change his feeling toward him or how much he is attracted to him.
If he would be willing to talk about it and open up to you and be honest about what is going on it would do both of you a lot of good.

Ur right but the thing is although we live in the US but we're from nashville so easier to say than to do
But im really confused , ive known him for 6 yrs and practically he passed thru alot and its the first time he gets close to a gay friend and honestly this guy was amazing he treats him in a great way better than i do even
What do u think
Sorry for constantly bothering u but im new to this

Hi
Don’t mind Dolly just giving you my opinion.
Your boyfriend could very well be putting the blame on his best friend for him having these unwanted feelings.
They have been caught several times doing things that gay couple’s would do and he may be starting to think and worry that people have figured out what is really going on.
His friend hits on him pretty regularly and as you said treats him so well and stirs up these feelings that he may wish he didn’t have and can’t control solution eliminate the temptation.
I think he could be thinking that if his friend is not around the feelings will stop and that means he is straight.
Unfortunately for him avoiding his best friend and denying that he is attracted to a guy won’t change the fact that he has strong feelings for another guy all it is going to do is perhaps cost him his best friend and someone that he would probably be pretty happy with in a relationship if he could accept it and come to terms with it.
I can’t even begin to think how he truly feels about his relationship with you could part of it be that outdated and narrow minded thinking that relationships should only be between men and women because that is what is considered acceptable and normal behaviour.
I think with all you have seen and observed that you know the truth as well as he does and it is hard to say what will happen with your relationship. You could continue it and always have doubts you may just end up being very good friends that will always be there for each other.
Could you possibly talk with his friend he knows the truth as well I am sure you have heard about gaydar but there is a chance that he tells your boy friend about your concerns. It is most definitely a tough position to be in but it is your boy friend that has put in this position and I think the only way for you to sort this out is to find out the truth even if is not what you are hoping for.

Your hundred percent correct
I have no problem with gay people actually my two best friends from school turned out to be lesbians and i still adore them after all there is ntn wrong with it
However what do u think i should do to know if he really is gay and have feelings for his best friend is there like a test or certain clues that i should notice or anything ?
Thank you for ur help i really appreciate it cz u know i cant discuss such issues with my parents or his or anyone in our community

Hi Dolly
Glad to help I know this is not what you would have preferred hearing but again just my opinion.
Well there is an app called is my son gay but I don’t think you need it.
The clues have been in front of you for some time now letting his friend touch him, kiss him and all this gets him turned on. He may at times seem to put up some resistance to these things but I think he is most definitely into it and enjoys all the attention he gets from his best friend.
I think from all you have noticed and the behaviours of your boyfriend that it is pretty obvious but the only way to confirm it would be him tell you but I don’t think that would happen and he would more than likely deny it so it kind of falls back onto would talking with his friend sort it out.
It could be done in a way that you just tell him that you are concerned for your boyfriend’s well-being and that you have noticed many things that clearly indicate he is gay and you think that he is really struggling with it and ask his friend what he thinks and what he feels you both good do to help him.
If his best friend confirms what you are thinking then you both could focus on helping him to deal with it and your question is also truthfully answered.

But the thing is that he doesnt do any of these behaviors infeont of me so he and his bestfriend could deny it especially since they are constantly having fights and my boyfriend is sooo jealous that ive heard his gay friend complain that he even doesnt like him to speak of others and how he spent his day because he spent it away from him
Im afraid that im being very subjective i wish i could know or if there is some tips u could provide and i can use